Fallen
by RhondaStar
Summary: A role reversal story. King Joseph falls for his housekeeper... a certain Clarisse!
1. Chapter 1

**Fallen**

_This story was inspired by twisted-coil's excellent "What if Joe were a King?" I started it many months ago but am only just getting round to posting it. A HUGE thank you and many hugs to 'Miss Twisted' for her generous gift of an idea and for kindly reading through my version of events – the same goes for my partner in writing crime Stoneygem._

* * *

**Part 1**

The early morning sun seeped over the land, warming the earth and lighting spring, fresh and new. The air smelt glorious, and for the lonesome figure walking along the cliff it provided comfort. The sea below was flat and calm, peace personified and she once again wondered just how she'd managed to stay away for so long. It was, and always would be, home.

Glancing at her watch she sighed and took another deep breath of the chill air. It was still only early, 7:15, she wanted to wait until she was sure the children were at school and the house was empty. She wanted to wait until she was sure she wouldn't have to face anybody and explain anything.

Taking a few steps she realised she was stuck in the mud.

"Oh bother." She murmured eyeing her shoes, designer shoes at that. She had been away for too long, it should be walking boots out here.

It suddenly struck her how ridiculous she must look; sure this outfit was fine for travelling, for hiring a car, for booking into a bed and breakfast for a few hours. It was hardly the attire for cliff top walks. She'd been away too long and lost touch; perhaps time here would help her recover herself, time to remember who she was and where she belonged. Lord knows the last few months had certainly tested her beliefs.

She couldn't help but smile as the first drops of rain slid down her face, merry England. Trudging back to the recently acquired BMW she felt a little jolt of pride, the vehicle was wonderfully chic, wonderfully sporty and best of all, hers. Well there was no better therapy than spending hard earned money, and she'd certainly earnt it. And saved it.

Sinking back into the leather seat she lifted her face up to the sky and allowed the rain to caress her skin. God she was tired, and this day wasn't going to get easier. The only thing for her to do was get on with it.

* * *

George Temperant dropped the cigarette to the floor when he heard the crunch of tyres on the gravel drive. Waving to the occupant he glanced at his watch, well she was punctual he'd give her that. 

"Good morning Mrs?"

"Miss." She replied as she swung her legs out of the car. "It's Miss. Arcenciel."

"Well, good morning to you." He watched as she leant into the back of the car to retrieve her handbag and a file, probably the one he'd sent to her about the property. She was a fine looking woman, long legs, a shapely curve to her hips, that black dress that just clung in the right places looked expensive.

He licked his lips and watched as she readjusted the patterned scarf around her shoulders. Her shoes were muddy.

"Been for a walk?" He asked smiling.

"Yes, a little, a mistake. I'd forgotten how damp the ground gets here."

"Been away?"

She nodded and moved towards him eyeing the property as she did so.

"Anywhere nice."

"Europe." She hesitated. "Slightly warmer climate. Shall we go inside?"

"Yes, of course. This way my dear." He said placing a hand on her shoulder.

She shrugged him off and walked slightly ahead, glancing over the garden. She was older than he first thought, when he got closer he noticed the fine lines around her eyes, at first he would have placed her early forties. Her figure certainly didn't give anything away, but her face had a certain amount of experience to it. Perhaps she was in her fifties. If he weren't married he might have asked her out for a drink. Still a woman with the kind of money available to buy a house like this alone, a Miss after all, was certainly out of his league. A widow maybe, she was dressed head to foot in black.

"Well shall we do the kitchen first?" He said as he motioned her inside.

"Whatever you think best Mr. Temperant."

He was impressed; she'd remembered his name from their brief telephone conversation a few days ago.

"Please call me George, the kitchen is right through there. This was of course originally a barn but as you can see it's been renovated to the highest standard, the previous owners spared no expense."

"Where are they now?"

"Moved to Spain, they preferred the warmer climate."

She smiled at him as she glanced out of the window and down the driveway.

She really was quite beautiful. He found himself watching her for a second, almost staring.

"Er, uhm, the kitchen, yes, was recently refitted, all new… modern."

"I know this may sound awfully rude of me but would you mind if I looked around by myself for a while and asked you any questions later? I just, well, I like to get the feel of a property first."

He couldn't quite place that accent, perfectly English of course but from which county? And a hint of something foreign to it, French perhaps, the surname should be a clue, a previous husband? Perhaps the dead husband and she was returning from France to her home land.

"I don't mind at all my dear. Shall I make some coffee whilst you look around."

"Tea, I'd prefer Tea."

"Tea it is then." He smiled warmly, hell he was tempted to bow. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me."

"Thank you so much."

She turned away from him and slowly climbed the stairs, aware of his eyes on her legs as she did so. Men, they never changed. She hastened her speed and disappeared out of view.

* * *

As she stood in the main bedroom over looking the green fields with farming fences and milling sheep she realised her mind was already made up. She would take the house. Sure it was a little expensive but she had the money sitting there in the bank, she might as well use it now when she really needed it. Besides she felt comfortable there, it seemed to suit her.

She folded her arms and smiled feeling, for the second time that morning, proud of herself. She was doing this all on her own, already she'd bought a new car and was on the verge of buying a new home, and she'd only been back in the country for two days.

Yes she would go down right now and tell that funny little man she would take it, she would even pay the asking price.

* * *

Rose Mayne turned up the radio and plunged her hands into the hot soapy water. This was her favourite time of the day, when her husband was out fishing, the grand children were at school and the house was still and empty. Even the cat slept as she got on with the housework. The Easter holidays had just passed and as much as she loved having the family around she was once again glad for the peace.

Hearing a car approach she stood on tiptoes to glance out of the window to the main road, probably one of the neighbours. Nice car though, a little flashy for the Cornish coast, especially off peak. She returned her attention to the glasses in the bowl and continued to gently wash them when somebody rang the front bell.

She was drying her hands on a tea towel as she approached the front door, if this turned out to be some salesman she wouldn't be best pleased.

"Yes, I'm coming." She murmured as the bell rang again.

She opened the door and froze, mouth open.

"Hello Rose…" The woman said.

"Clarisse… what the hell are you doing here?"

"Well, I wasn't exactly expecting such a warm welcome…" She teased reaching forward to hug her sister.

Rose returned the hug, murmuring into Clarisse's hair. "It's a bit of a shock, over a year…"

"I know and I'm sorry." She pulled back and tucked a loose lock of hair behind Rose's ear. "But I'm home now."

"You're looking well." The older woman smiled.

"Don't tease, this outfit is very expensive."

"I know, and very inappropriate for country life."

"Yes…" She indicated her shoes. "So I've been reminded, are you inviting me in doors?"

"Of course." She squeezed Clarisse's hand. "But leave your shoes there."

"Yes miss." Clarisse closed the door behind her and watched her sister walk down the hall.

"Tea I suppose." She called over her shoulder.

"Why of course." She smiled sweetly slipping her shoes off.

Bare footed she padded down the hallway stopping to look over the photos on the wall. "Louisa has grown."

"I know, too fast. She's certainly not boring."

"And my niece?"

"Exhausted, as new mother's always are."

Clarisse leant against the kitchen door watching as Rose poured the tea.

"She loved the gifts by the way, that silver frame was exquisite."

Clarisse shrugged. "It's the least I can do, I miss every birthday."

"You're busy, we know that." Rose added.

"Not anymore." She replied choosing a seat by the window and sitting down.

Rose joined her at the table and handed her a mug of tea.

"Sorry no china here dear." She said in a mock upper class accent,

"Don't tease."

Rose laughed. "I'm sorry." She swallowed her tea. "So tell me, how is palace life?"

Clarisse sipped her tea and shook her head. "I wouldn't know."

Rose stared at her younger sister for a few moments, silently watching her. They were unmistakeably related, their features almost identical. Only Clarisse was fair and Rose a brunette, plus three children had somewhat altered Rose's figure and she was four years older than her glamorous younger sister.

She clinked her mug against Clarisse's in an attempt to ease the tension in the room.

"Is this a flying visit?"

"No. I'm home." She attempted to smile.

"For the moment?"

"For good, I er, bought a house."

"What? Where and when?"

"Penzance and this morning."

"Wha… well you certainly haven't changed, spur of the moment?"

"Kind of." Clarisse murmured taking another sip of her tea.

"And Genovia?"

Now she looked up sharply and attempted to smile. "I got bored…"

"You said you loved it, your first really important role. Don't tell me you got bored after only what, a year?"

Clarisse looked to the floor, stretching out her legs. "11 months actually, well, you know me, always changing."

"Not over this, you fought for that job."

"I know, I know I just… things happened."

"Things, did you meet somebody?"

"Kind of."

"Only kind of, what does that mean? The wrong sort of man, I know you."

"No, well yes I suppose, I didn't mean for it to happen."

Biting down on her bottom lip Clarisse attempted to keep her emotions in check but failed miserably. Taking one look at her sister's worried expression she gasped as a sob escaped her. "Oh Rose."

Her sister's arms surrounded her in a second, warm and comforting as she held her, Clarisse sobbed into her shoulder oblivious to her surroundings.

"I'm sorry… sorry." She babbled. "I've held it in for so long, on my own."

"Why didn't you call, if something happened you should have called, I'm here for you, you know that." She kissed the top of her head. "Oh my dear, shush honey, no man is worth it you know that."

"Oh…" She lifted her head up smiling. "And at my age I should know better."

"Yes, you should." She wiped her sister's damp cheeks. "What's his name?"

Clarisse's face darkened and she cast her eyes to the side, avoiding her sister's intense gaze.

"Clarisse, what's his name?"

She took a deep breath before she answered, "Joseph, his name is Joseph."

"Joe… not the King!"

* * *

_Well i hope you like it so far - please let me know what you think... R_


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2**

Clarisse peered down into the small pond and quickly stood up again.

"Your pond doesn't smell too healthy." She said absently.

"No, I've been telling Martin for months to clear it out, the reply is always the same, 'when winter has passed'."

"How is he?" Clarisse asked turning.

"Oh he's the same, fine, the same." Rose shrugged. "And you're avoiding the subject."

Clarisse continued to stroll around the garden. "I'm not avoiding it, I'm merely thinking of the best way to broach it."

"No need for niceties around me Clarisse, just tell me."

"I don't know where to start." She stopped by the edge of the garden leaning on the stonewall and closing her eyes as the breeze ruffled her hair.

"Did you sleep with him?"

"Rose!" She spun round to face her sister.

"Well it's a fact, it's what people do, so did you?"

Taking a deep breath Clarisse shook her head. "No, no I didn't. He wanted…" She hesitated. "I couldn't. I would be just another mistress." She shrugged moving to sit on the bench next to Rose. "There were many reasons… I can't explain."

Rose rested her hand atop of Clarisse's. "Why don't you just start at the beginning?"

Closing her eyes again Clarisse leant her head on her sister's shoulder. "I'm not sure where the beginning is…"

"Well was it instant, some raw attraction, come on tell me it was lust at first sight."

Clarisse laughed despite her heavy heart. "No, afraid not, at least not for me, though he says…"

"For him?" Rose tilted her head to look at Clarisse's face.

"Yes, he says it was instant."

"Lust?"

"Worse."

"Love?"

Clarisse nodded lifting herself up and leaning forward. "Oh it's so good to be home, did you see my car, do you like it? Do you realise it's the first vehicle I've bought in years."

"It's very nice, but Clarisse, you're not explaining why you're here."

"I'm trying… it isn't easy. This kind of thing isn't normal."

"You never were normal, normal is me, married and kids… the opposite is you, jet setting and extravagant."

"A house keeper is hardly extravagant."

"We're not talking housekeeper of some run down B and B, we're talking the royal housekeeper."

"Rose." She sighed standing up. "I'm trying to forget."

"Fine, tell me and then we'll move on."

"You're still stubborn."

"As are you." She crossed her legs. "Come on, it's not every day my sister gets it on with a King."

"We did not 'get it on'."

"But something did happen outside the realms of a reasonable every day working relationship."

Clarisse inhaled deeply. "Yes… yes something happened."

"Right, now we're getting somewhere." Rose patted the bench next to her. "Now sit down and take it from the top. How did it start?"

Clarisse sat down and folded her hands in her lap. "I've already told you I'm not sure how it started."

"Fine, then I'll try a different tact… how did you meet?"

"The first time?"

Rose nodded. "Yes, the first time."

* * *

King Joseph was a lonely man; it was something not only observed by his closest family and friends but by his staff, his bodyguards, his gardeners and the inhabitants of Genovia. Having been a widower since his wife's death some fifteen years previous he was at the age of fifty-four settled in his way of life and to the casual observer a stubborn man.

On the morning of June 3rd he rose as usual promptly at 6:30 a.m. and, after dressing, made his way down to the stables. There he saddled his new mare and disappeared into the early morning mists.

An hour later he returned to his suite for a shower and change, took a quick breakfast in his room whilst looking over the papers then emerged in his office for the day's briefing.

He would never recall what was said that morning in its entirety but he recalled the words his chief advisor Richard had spoken.

"Oh and the new housekeeper is here, a Miss. Arcenciel. Doesn't start officially until next week but is eager to get started. Should I arrange a meeting?"

Joseph continued to doodle on the bottom of his diary. "Where is she now?"

"I'm not sure Sir, looking over the garden when I greeted her this morning. Luckily we had her room vacated last week, she's free to move straight in."

"Fine…" He drifted off. "Seems rather odd, arriving early."

"Dedicated to her work I believe, worked at Windsor for some time in the early eighties I believe. Highly recommended."

"I'm sure. Strict?" He glanced up.

"Not so one would notice."

"Alright, then I suppose I might as well get it over with as soon as possible. Arrange something, afternoon tea, something polite, let's show her the Genovian palace can be just as elegant as Windsor."

"Yes sir, now next item on the agenda is your son's Birthday. You were scheduled to be in Spain, should I cancel the meeting?"

"No, no talk to Pierre, organise something for the day before I leave, or after I return." His voice drifted off again as he gazed out the window.

"Of course your majesty."

* * *

Richard Morgan was a tall dashingly handsome young man; all blonde hair and blue eyes and he towered over Clarisse even in her heels. She'd caught him off guard she realised that, arriving a few days early. She'd done it on purpose of course to catch them out, if anything was lacking she would certainly find it whilst they fussed over her. 

However they seemed highly organised and she was impressed. The last housekeeper had left rather abruptly two months ago yet the staff appeared to be ticking along like clockwork. She wondered how her intrusion would be viewed.

Rounding the corner she became aware of how her shoes clicked on the marbled floor, how eerily loud it was, or was it how quiet the palace was? Richard strode on just ahead of her after mumbling a few words about how the King liked to be addressed and what questions she might expect him to ask. By all accounts the man functioned as a machine, everything was impeccably timed, each detail exquisite in its execution and nothing, ever, out of place.

She liked him already.

* * *

Left alone to wait in his majesty's office she took the opportunity to have a look around his bookcases, she preferred to think of herself as naturally inquisitive as opposed to nosey. Though she was reminded of her mother's disapproval when they'd offered to water their holidaying neighbours plants and Clarisse had spent all her time flicking through their record collection. 

Hearing footsteps approaching she quickly moved back to the chair Richard had indicated she use and stood waiting for him to arrive.

He breezed into the room shuffling through the papers in his hand, glasses resting on his nose, he appeared oblivious to her presence then stopped abruptly at his desk and looked her over.

"Oh, good morning, Miss, erm," he rubbed his forehead. "Don't tell me I haven't forgotten…"

Clarisse couldn't help but smile.

"Miss. Arcenciel."

She remembered Richard told her never to curtsy and instead offered her hand to him. "Good morning your majesty."

"Good morning…" He appeared to stumble on his words for a moment. "Shall we order some Tea?"

"That would be lovely thank you."

* * *

Clarisse stared out of the window at the rain, leaning on the worktop as she spoke.

"He told me, some time afterwards, that he remembered exactly what I wore that day, even down to my shoes."

Rose spoke gently, afraid of upsetting the mood. "And what did you wear that day?"

"Just a suit, a beige suit I think, the jacket had black edging though along here…" She indicated with her hand. "Nothing special."

"Obviously he thought so."

"Perhaps…"

"And what happened?"

"Nothing, we had our tea and discussed work related issues. He asked me how I felt about leaving England, I told him I had travelled widely over the years, that it didn't bother me. He told me about some Genovian customs that I might find odd, about the weather for that time of year. It was just a short 'welcome to the palace' conversation."

"Well quite plainly he found something more in it." Rose handed Clarisse a knife. "You can cut the potatoes, Martin will be home soon."

Clarisse glared momentarily then rolled her sleeves up. "Quite plainly he was mistaken."

"Was he? He was attracted to you immediately, it's not uncommon. To say he fell in love with you immediately, now that would be insane."

"He isn't insane."

"Old and lonely."

"He's a year younger than me."

"Well then, I hit the nail on the head." She handed her a potato. "Didn't I dear."

"You're very funny."

"And very accurate. What happened next?"

"What do you mean what happened next?" Clarisse glanced at her nails as she began to cut the vegetables.

"I mean how did you go from a welcome chat to a full blown love affair?"

"It was hardly that. We just, well, I suppose bumped into each other every now and then. We had the obligatory staff meeting but apart from that I often found he was just where I was."

"Sounds curiously suspicious."

"Maybe, I don't know ohhh…" Frustrated she dropped the potato into the pan of water. "He wasn't stalking me, he didn't pressurise, it wasn't that. It's just… I'd be walking by the lake, or looking at the roses and he'd be there. He liked to ride, every morning, 6:45 prompt and I'd always be up and around by then and we'd just meet. He always took the time to say good morning to me, to ask how I was. It never occurred to me that he didn't do the same for every member of staff."

"Obviously he found our Clarisse had that little something that caught his fancy."

"Rose don't! It wasn't like that, I never saw him like that… you make him sound like some vulgar letch."

"All right, if you say he isn't I believe you. Hurry with the potatoes or dinner will be late. Are you staying?"

"Am I invited?"

"Of course I want the rest of the story, do you have anywhere booked?"

"No I was relying on you until the house is ready." Clarisse smiled endearingly.

"Good job I'm kind hearted." She leant forward and kissed her sister's forehead. "Now, what happened next? Apart from these random meetings by the lake, how romantic dear by the way."

"It isn't a novel."

"It's better, it's real. Now go on."

"I don't know what to tell you, for two months that was it, I worked hard, I tried to gently coax the staff into working my way whilst avoiding ruffling feathers. We just, I just spoke with him every now and then, passed a few minutes commenting on how groomed the grass was."

"Fascinating, but something must have happened that went beyond that."

"Yes, something did. He went to France."

"And?" Rose moved past Clarisse opening the fridge and taking out butter and cream. "You want to chop the parsley?"

"Sure, might as well ruin the nails completely." She picked up the knife and laid the parsley on the chopping board. "And he went to France for a week, when he returned it was almost the height of Summer and so very hot. I was out walking one night, it was late, I couldn't sleep."

"And?"

"And I didn't realise he'd returned, I thought he would be back the following Tuesday, it was only Friday. I walked to the fountain and, oh dear…"

"What, what did you do?"

"I sat with my feet in the fountain."

"Ha! Touché."

* * *

Clarisse sighed contented and dropped her head back, her skirt was raised up her legs and as she trailed her toes through the cool water she flicked the moisture up her legs.

"So I'm not the only one who enjoys a midnight stroll?"

She lifted her head hastily and moved her eyes to the figure in the darkness.

Joseph stepped forward holding his hand's up. "Sorry didn't mean to startle you."

"Your majesty! Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realise you were back… I mean. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I'm the one who invaded your moment of relaxation."

She went to lift her feet from the water and climb out.

"Please don't, feel free to stay there it looks great. In fact." He stepped closer to her. "Would you mind if I joined you? My feet are killing me. Too many parades up and down the intensely hot streets of France."

She smiled. "Not at all sir."

He removed the shoes he was wearing and rolled his trousers up, sitting next to her, but not too close, he audibly sighed as his feet sunk down into the water.

"Oh that's better."

Clarisse could think of nothing to say so merely remained quiet, looking up at the clear night sky. Her arms were bare in the summer dress and she shivered slightly as a light breeze passed.

"You're cold?"

"Sorry? Oh no sir not at all, I like it."

"Ahh, good. So, how are things?" He said gently.

"Things are well thank you."

"You're happy here."

"Yes."

"Good, good. You've certainly made some visible changes… all good ones I might add. The flowers decorating the palace are a joy, wonderful, brightens up the place. You certainly live up to your name."

She glanced sideways at him curious.

"Miss. Rainbow."

"Ahh," She blushed slightly and looked down at the water, how distorted her feet seemed beneath the surface.

"Tell me, you were born in England, were your parents French? That is, if you don't mind my asking."

"No, I don't mind you asking. My parents were both English, my husband was French."

"Oh, you're married?"

"Was, we divorced many years ago, I married young and divorced a few years later." She shrugged. "Wasn't meant to be."

"We all make mistakes."

"Yes we do, quite large ones every now and then."

"How did you meet him?" He blurted out then shook his head. "Sorry, it's none of my business."

"I don't mind, I was working in France at the time, well I was a student. He was charming and kind and lots of fun. Very un-English gentleman."

"Ah, so you don't like gentleman?"

"I do now, I didn't appreciate them back then."

She was smiling and he found himself smiling back, in fact he couldn't escape the warm feeling that was circling his stomach.

"Amélioration avec l'âge?"

"Oui, je pense ainsi."

His smile grew and he lost sense of who he was. "May I call you Clarisse?"

"Erm, yes, of course."

"Thank you. You know Clarisse it's a long time since I had such a pleasant conversation with anyone."

Startled she sat back, not realising she was holding her breath.

"It's not often I get the chance to, for some strange reason people get edgy around me." He wasn't looking at her; he was amusing himself flipping his toes out of the water.

"I can understand why sir."

"As do I…" He looked up at her smiling, his eyes sparkling beneath the dusky light of the fountain lamps. "Tell me, where did you grow up?"

"Devon, mostly. London for a while, when I was a teenager."

"Ahh, I don't know Devon, London though, vibrant city."

"Yes it is." She lifted her feet from the water and turned around sliding her feet into the fragrant grass.

"The accent?"

"Sorry?"

He turned around to join her, reaching for his shoes. "Your accent is perfect."

"Years of practice, one must know how to speak properly if you want to work in these circles, if you'll pardon my saying so sir."

He nodded. "Speak at will, this is off the record, and please stop calling me sir. It's Joseph."

"I don't think that's appropriate." She stood up linking her hands behind her back. "It's getting late."

"Yes it is, I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you."

"You haven't." Her face softened. "I enjoy talking to you too sir… sorry."

"Don't be." He grabbed his shoes and stood up. "I think I might continue to peruse the grounds for a while." He held his hand out. "Thank you Clarisse, feel free to use the fountain anytime."

She couldn't help but laugh, he found himself enchanted by it. "Goodnight your majesty."

He dipped his head, just slightly. "Bonne nuit, Clarisse."

She was grinning as she walked away.

* * *

_Hope you're enjoying reading as much as I am writing! x R_


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 3**

Rose refilled Clarisse's wine glass and lifted her feet up beneath the blanket on the couch.

"Spring is here but the night's are still so damned cold."

"Hmm…" Clarisse swirled the wine in her glass staring at it blindly.

"Sweetheart, it was one light hearted chat about France and fountains. Don't beat yourself up about it."

"I'm not, I was just, reflecting on it. How easy it was, how comfortable we were with each other. We didn't even have to try." She said the last words as the lounge door opened and Martin peaked his head around the door.

"I'm off to bed ladies; I'll leave you to it. Don't let her drink too much Clarisse she's not used to it."

"Goodnight love." Rose replied taking a gulp of her wine.

Clarisse giggled. "Now that's what I want, somebody who knows me, really knows me."

"Is that why you felt drawn to him?"

"No, hell I did my best to not be drawn to him, saying 'I couldn't help it' sounds so weak and foolish but its true. I couldn't, we couldn't…"

"Drink your wine and tell me the next part of the story."

"Some story." She whispered taking a sip from her glass. "I was unnerved after that evening, before I had hardly noticed him, I simply spoke to him when the moment arose. But after that I seemed to find him staring at me, I would glance up and he was there, his eyes on me. And I wasn't sure if it was my imagination or if it was really happening. I mean on the one hand I was totally unprepared for it, who would think the King would develop a crush?"

She stretched her legs out, placing her glass on the floor and reaching to her legs to take her stockings off.

"I didn't know how to handle that, who to complain to. But then part of me didn't want to complain, part of me was confused because I actually enjoyed the attention… and more than that I wanted it. I wanted him to stare at me, I wanted him to care because I cared, more than I should."

"And that was when things got ugly?"

"No, there was something else. A night."

"A night? I thought you said you never slept with him."

"I didn't, and I resent you thinking I would."

"Well from the pictures I've seen he's a good looking guy."

"Very, as it turns out but that's not the issue."

"Isn't it?"

"No, it isn't." She dropped her stockings to the floor and relaxed back on the sofa. "So, one night everything changed, everything shifted, and no matter how I tried I couldn't readdress the balance. I took a step too far, I allowed myself to go too far and let my guard down and…" She ran a hand through her hair. "I made a mistake."

"Didn't he also?"

"No, well maybe, he followed his feelings."

"Didn't you follow yours?" Rose leant over the couch and switched the lamp off, the only light in the room came from the candles on the dining table.

"Yes I suppose, but you know me, I never follow my feelings."

"I know, which is why you're still unmarried."

"I was put off for life."

"Hmm." Rose closed her eyes. "Tell me about Joseph, and this night."

Clarisse smiled as she watched her sister, it was like telling her a goodnight story. She closed her eyes and sank back against the pillows.

"Okay, that night. It was October, Halloween."

* * *

The Halloween Ball was something Queen Isabella had introduced when Pierre and Philippe were seven and five respectively, and it had remained part of the Genovian social calendar ever since.

Clarisse had found herself rushed off her feet that week. The extra planning involved with any ball was exhausting, yet for a housekeeper still finding her way around the rules and regulations of palace life it was damn near impossible.

By the time Friday night arrived she wanted nothing more than to collapse into bed with a hot chocolate and a good book. Yet the staff had other plans.

Whilst the gentry of the land celebrated above stairs the staff had their own private party below. All those who weren't immediately involved with serving or the running of proceedings began the party early to be joined later by chefs, footmen and waiters.

Clarisse was told it was fancy dress, yet she hardly felt the need, nor had the planning time to arrange anything therefore she arrived in a very long black dress. It had was secured at one side with a silver broach and was simple yet effective.

She arrived late, working almost up until 11:30, when she reached the party it was vibrant and alive and actually she felt rather happy to be there. She worked with these people yet and hardly knew most of them, yet somehow they were becoming her friends. Listening to stories about their families and life outside the palace reminded her that there was life outside the palace; it was something she overlooked quite often.

Cradling a glass of red wine she sat by the open window watching a rather elaborate waltz take place, laughing openly at the mistakes the dancers were making and the clumsy attempts of drunken couples at dancing.

"You worked at Windsor didn't you?" A deep voice said next to her.

She turned her to find Richard smiling at her.

"Well, I did, though it was many years ago." Shuffling along the bench a little for him she clinked her glass against his. "I was still learning. It was good experience." She shrugged.

"I heard you were highly regarded."

She smiled nudging his shoulder with hers. "I still am."

He chuckled. "That I can believe, the King is impressed with you."

For some reason the words struck a chord and she looked to his face, seeing no sign of jest or tease she accepted it as honest. "Well I'm enjoying it here."

"Good, good, they're warming to you."

"Oh well I am so very pleased." She giggled sipping her wine.

"I'm warming to you too…"

"Oh?" Was he flirting with her?

"In fact I was wondering about asking, would you like to have dinner with me?"

"As in a 'date' dinner?"

"Yes, as in a 'date' dinner." He smiled, sheepishly she felt. "So?"

She sighed and turned to look at the vibrant room again, swirling the wine in her glass as she did. It wasn't a good idea to date fellow workers, on the other hand he held a senior position just like she did and knew the rules and besides he was much younger than her and she felt flattered… she chided herself, flattery wasn't reason to risk her job.

"If you're worried, let's think of it as friends having an evening out."

"All right, dinner it is." Well, she needed all the friends she could get. "Would you like to dance Richard?"

"Ahh, alas, I have two left feet. Would you like some more wine?"

"Erm, yes, just a little though."

She watched him cross the room, battling through the crowds. It had been a long time since she'd dated anyone, a very long time. She actually felt rather nervous at the prospect.

Turning away she glanced across the moonlit lawns, Genovia was beautiful yet she still missed home. She must call her sister tomorrow; arrange to go home for Christmas. Yet she wondered how the country would look under snowfall, it would be nice to stay in the palace, to enjoy the peace and quiet as the staff went home for a few days.

* * *

At 2:45 a.m. Clarisse was one of the few members of staff still awake, and still sober. She watched as the last of the guests left and strolled through the now empty ballroom surveying the clutter and remnants of the ball. Unfortunately tomorrow her staff would be up early and cleaning, hangover or not.

Deciding there was nothing she could do about it there and then she decided to go to bed. As she passed down the corridor that led away from the ballroom she heard music coming from the library, there was no light coming from the room so she used her key and let herself in.

The comfort offered with living in a tightly guarded palace meant she feared nothing and quickly strode through the darkened room towards the source of the music, jangling the keys in her hand as she did so.

The fire was burning in the hearth, she wondered who had left it like that, and who she would be reprimanding the following morning. Perhaps those parties weren't such a good idea.

She bent down on the rug and almost screamed when somebody touched her shoulder.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you, leave the fire."

Turning around Clarisse watched open mouthed as Joseph leant back in his oversized chair.

She swallowed. "Sir, I'm awfully sorry I thought the room was empty."

"It's perfectly fine, I was just having a moment to myself."

"Oh, in the dark?" She asked without thinking.

He laughed. "Yes, in the dark. I like to listen to my music in here."

"I see, well I'm sorry to have disturbed you." She stood up slowly, her knees complained at the action.

"It isn't a disturbance, you look… wonderful, did you enjoy the celebration?"

"Yes I did, did you?"

"I think your party might have been more fun than mine." He shrugged. "Too many balls, dancing with the same women."

"Ahh," She allowed herself a light smile. "I heard you're an exquisite dancer."

"Well, high praise indeed, it's finding the right partner."

She laughed gently. "I suppose so."

"What time is it my dear?"

"Almost 3:00."

He took a deep breath and looked to the fire then back to her, holding his hand out to her.

"Care to try?"

"Sir?" She stared at him confused.

"To dance, would you like to dance Clarisse?"

"Here?"

"Well, we could go to the ballroom but I think people might stare."

He got up from the chair and Clarisse noticed the jacket and bowtie discarded on the back of it. He was stepping closer to her, reaching for her hand.

"I, erm, well it is awfully late sir."

"Is that a no? And I told you, don't call me sir, I hate it."

"I'm sorry."

"Dance with me and I'll forgive you."

He was smiling intently at her, she worried she was blushing as he stared into her eyes. He was terribly charming.

Lifting her hand to his she silently agreed, she almost felt him tremble as his fingers locked with hers. Perhaps she imagined it. His arm tentatively circled her waist and she was the one to tremble, well it was more like a shiver that ran through her body.

Slightly embarrassed she lifted her face to his; he was intoxicatingly close to her and smelt so good. She felt the urge to settle her head on his shoulder and drift away as they danced. Somehow she held herself together enough to remember the steps.

As they moved together, hesitantly at first, Joseph never took his eyes from her face. It both unnerved and excited her. His attraction was obvious to her then, she should have ended the dance and excused herself. She should have halted things before they went any further. But she didn't want to. She enjoyed the sensation, was overjoyed by the fact he was so attracted to her, that he couldn't stop looking at her.

"Who taught you to dance?" He whispered.

"My father. He insisted my sister and I knew the basics."

"A wise man, and an obviously excellent teacher."

Despite his praise she found she didn't blush or even have to look away from him, they continued to move together even when the song ended and changed. He skilfully altered their moves to suit the music and she found she was becoming lost in the dance, lost in the feel of being with him, her hips moved of their own accord and she could hardly believe she was swaying in such way against a man like him…

She closed her eyes and swallowed, his mouth was near her neck, she felt his breath tickle her skin. God, it was just a dance, just a dance that was driving her to the edge of her sensibilities. She knew what was acceptable and this was far from it.

This time when the song ended she stopped the flow and stepped back from him, desperately trying to hold onto her composure. This could last forever, all night, they could remain hidden away in that darkened room dancing together, nobody would know how they moved, if they touched, if they kissed… nobody would know.

"I must go to bed." She murmured.

"Of course." He sounded husky, she wondered if she stepped forward, if she touched his hand again would he try to kiss her?

"Thank you for the dance."

"Thank you, Clarisse." He said her name with such tenderness for a second she hardly dare move.

As she broke the spell and moved towards the door she was stopped by his voice.

"Clarisse."

She turned and glanced back at him, she could barely make out his face in the dusky light.

"I apologise, if I went too far."

"You didn't." She whispered.

* * *

"I don't know, perhaps it was the wine or the magic of the evening, the feeling of finally belonging there. Perhaps it was the fact two men were lusting after me at the same time, but that dance was the most intimate and wholly sexual act I've ever known…"

Clarisse shifted onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. "He didn't go too far, I did, I allowed my personal feelings to overcome my sense of right and wrong."

"Maybe that's a good thing." Rose replied watching her from the other end of the couch.

"How can it be a good thing? I left, I walked out on my job… and I hurt him."

"By leaving?"

"Yes, but before that too, we hurt each other." She groaned frustrated and lifted herself up from the couch pacing the room. "I can't believe I'm here discussing it, I can't believe I could be so stupid to fall for royalty, how can one do that? How could I, I'm not stupid, am I, Rose?"

"I don't believe you're stupid, in fact the more you tell me the more surprised I am."

"How so?" Clarisse folded her arms.

"Well, I know you won't want to hear this honey but you tend to be rather cold at times." She pulled herself into a sitting position. "Hear me out for a second before you jump on the defensive. You tend to turn away from possible relationships, from any emotional contact, I'm shocked at the way you gave into these feelings for him, at the way you allowed yourself to embrace the feelings rather than simply block them out."

Clarisse chewed down on her bottom lip contemplating her words; eventually she dropped her hands to her sides in defeat.

"He caught me off guard."

"Ha, perhaps. Perhaps he simply got under your skin for once."

Clarisse ruffled her hair and yawned. "It's late and I have to go into town tomorrow and sign contracts. Would you like to come see the house?"

"Of course."

"Right, well then I'm going to bed."

"I want the rest of the story tomorrow."

"Yes, yes." She bent over Rose and kissed her forehead. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight my dear…" Rose clung to Clarisse's hand as she tried to move. "Clarisse, could you help me to bed I'm not sure I can walk."

Clarisse laughed then shook her head. "Too much wine."

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

**Part 4**

Clarisse tapped her nails on the steering wheel and once again glanced at the watch on her wrist. The rain pattered down on the roof of the car and she closed her eyes, she'd hardly slept last night despite exhausting herself through travel and dashing about from one thing to another.

The door opened and slammed shut and Rose shook the rain from her hair. "Ohh nasty weather."

"We're going to be late." Clarisse jerked the car forward into the street. "Damn new car…"

"Hey relax, we won't be late, it's a 45 minute drive into town and we have over an hour before your appointment, so we will be fine."

Clarisse gazed ahead down the road, sighing. "You're right, I'm sorry."

"Didn't sleep?"

"How can you tell?"

Rose shrugged. "Agitated Clarisse, always steer clear of her."

"Very funny."

"Tell me about this Richard guy."

"Richard? What now?"

"Yes now, we have time to kill."

"Well why don't you tell me about family things instead… about being a Grandma." Clarisse smiled casting a glance to her sister.

"Because that's dull and I can tell you anytime, finish the damn story, don't make me force you."

Clarisse couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, I'll tell you. Richard was, and is, a lovely man. There you go."

"Not good enough." Rose reached forward and turned the radio off. "Tell me about the date."

"The date…" she breathed deeply. "The date actually was wonderful, he took me out to dinner, the food was excellent, the company divine… he made me laugh, he told me stories about the palace, history, gossip." She shrugged. "It was good. Under any other circumstance it would have been a perfect date."

She stopped the car, indicating left, looked both ways then pulled out. Rose still staring at her, expectantly.

"What? Don't keep watching me…"

"You haven't finished. You said, under any other circumstance it would have been perfect… so why wasn't it?"

"Rose." Clarisse groaned.

"Come on, tell me."

"It's difficult you know, it… it hurts, okay it hurts."

"Then let me help. You never want to share."

"This isn't exactly easy… I'm partly embarrassed. I, well I handled it badly, with Richard, and I regret that. I had a perfectly wonderful time with him you know, that night, and he did too and he wanted to go out again and I would have if it wasn't for the fact…"

"You liked the King more."

"Well…" she shook her head. "Joseph reacted badly to it."

"He what!"

"He was jealous, pure and simple, like men get… I don't know why I thought he might act differently."

"Did he say something?"

"Yes."

"When?" Rose exclaimed.

"That night. I bumped into him."

* * *

Clarisse knew the palace hallways by memory now, having been there several months. In the dusky light she made her way to the kitchen, too much rich food and wine had left her wide awake and perhaps a cup of tea would soothe her.

Taking the back stairs she filled the kettle and, whilst waiting for it to boil, she removed her scarf and coat.

"Did you enjoy yourself?" A deep voice came from the stairs.

She spun around gripping the back of a chair, she wasn't quite prepared for facing him tonight.

"Your majesty?" She said with as much dignity as she could muster. "Can I get you anything?"

"What are you having?" He asked gently, stepping down into the light.

"Erm, just some tea." She gestured towards the boiling kettle.

"That would be good."

She nodded and turned around taking another cup from the cupboard.

"So did you have a good time? You look wonderful by the way… as usual…" his voice faded away and she turned sharply to look at him.

"I had a good time, yes, thank you."

"Good, great." His smile was strained as he went to sit down. "Richard's a lucky man."

She raised an eyebrow; he was tapping the table nervously.

"I'm having a drop of whisky in my tea, would you like the same?" She asked.

"Yes, that would be nice."

"Okay." She poured the tea and carried the cups to the table, her plan was to disappear to her room and enjoy the hot drink in bed but she couldn't exactly walk out on him. It was quite obvious he wanted to talk.

"So you like Richard?" He said absently taking his cup from her.

"Yes, he's a lovely man, very genuine."

Joseph nodded. "You know he's only forty one."

She glanced up sharply, was that a dig? "Yes I am aware of that, are you saying I'm too old?"

"No… goodness no not at all." He suddenly went furiously red. "I was just saying…"

She laughed, unexpectedly. "You aren't very discreet Sir. If you're trying to warn me not to date a fellow member of staff then you just have to say."

She slipped down from her chair and gathered her coat and scarf. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm a little tired."

"Miss. Arcenciel." He said a little harshly. "Clarisse, that wasn't what I meant. Not at all what I meant."

"Oh?" She stopped and turned to face him.

This wasn't right; the atmosphere in the room had changed suddenly, just like that. She needed to escape, she could feel it moving too quickly and try as she might she couldn't break free of the momentum.

"What are you saying?" Her voice sounded odd, distant and strange to her.

He stepped closer to her, moving deftly around the table, so quick she hardly registered the movement.

"You surely must know what I mean."

"Your majesty." She said formally, noting his grimace.

"Why can't you say my name… just once." He touched her hand where it lay on the table. "You must know how I feel about you by now."

"Jealousy isn't expected in somebody like you."

"Isn't it? Well neither is falling in love so deeply, so quickly…"

She snatched her hand away. "Love? You can't love me, you don't know me."

"I know, it's irresponsible and impulsive and so unlike me. I wasn't expecting somebody like you to come into my life."

"Don't." She tried to move past him but he caught her arm.

"Clarisse, please, I can't bear this… I can't keep hiding it away."

"You're the King, you're my employer, let go of me."

"I'm not talking to you as my employee, I'm talking to you as Clarisse… as the woman who I'm in love with."

"Stop…" her voice was weak, failing as his body moved closer to hers. "Don't do this."

"Why not? Because I'm the King and it's improper, or because you don't want it."

She stared into his eyes, gentle and imploring. His hand traced down her arm and he caught her fingers with his, they folded their hands together.

She felt her chest tighten, the breath catch in her throat. No matter what her brain was screaming at her the feel of having his body next to hers was perfection.

Hesitantly she reached up and placed her hand on his face, he was shaking, waiting for her response.

She closed her eyes, dropped her head forward until her forehead touched his. "I can't do this." She finally whispered then quickly pulled back. "It isn't right."

His expression was unreadable, perhaps shock, hurt, some disappointment, questioning… she wasn't sure which.

She shook her head and pulled her hand away from his, her heart racing at the thought of taking it further; aching at the knowledge it couldn't go any further.

"It isn't fair on anybody, for one thing I've just spent the evening with a perfectly lovely man, kissing you instead would be wrong."

"Did you kiss him?" He said the words before they registered. "Damn, I'm sorry, oh I didn't mean that."

"Didn't you?" She sighed. "I hardly know you, how can I trust that you don't try this on with every member of staff."

Now he was hurt. "Please, if you think there's ever been any woman who made me feel the way you do… I've been a widower for 15 years and not once have I looked at another woman, not once. Then you turn up and I'm… I'm falling like some fool."

He looked to the floor, closing his eyes, squeezing back the tears. "Go to bed." He indicated the door with his hand. "Just leave me."

"Joseph." She said gently, he felt his heart constrict and he looked back to her face. "I don't think you're foolish."

He watched as she collected her coat from the table, her bag and scarf. She crossed the kitchen, never looking back at him. "Goodnight your majesty." She said quietly as she ascended the stairs.

"Goodnight my dear." He whispered to himself.

* * *

"I played him." Clarisse said gently, staring into the rain.

"No you didn't." Rose replied, turned in her seat watching her sister.

Clarisse shook her head. "I did, I did I handled it badly and I led him on and he didn't deserve that… doesn't deserve that."

"He's a grown man Clarisse, he knows his own mind, and you did no chasing." Rose sighed. "Switch the engine off."

Clarisse looked up startled, realising they were parked but the engine still running. The windows were steamed with their talk and the rain still fell. She opened the window and took a gulp of the fresh damp air.

"Perhaps I didn't chase, but I didn't deter him, not really. And in the end what does it matter," she shrugged. "Because people will see me as the new housekeeper who played the King, used her feminine charms to land him."

"But you didn't, you left."

"And for that very reason." She unbuckled her seatbelt and leant back closing her eyes. "The thing is now I'm here, far away from Genovia and everything that goes with it, well the more I tell you of what happened… the more I realise how much I miss him."

She swallowed, trying to breathe despite her tightening throat. "I miss him so very much, and I don't know why!" She suddenly exclaimed slamming her hands down on the steering wheel. "God help me Rose I don't know why I miss him because what is there to miss? What did we have really, a few odd conversations, two lonely people sharing a chat." She sighed heavily. "Hardly Romeo and Juliet."

"Oh I don't know." Rose replied gently. "Perhaps an older version." Her voice sounded croaky and Clarisse glanced at her quickly.

"You're tearing up?"

Rose nodded. "Only slightly…"

Clarisse smiled and reached to squeeze her sister's hand. "You always were such a romantic. Come on, or we'll be late, when I've signed the contracts I'll drive you to the house, hopefully it will have stopped raining by then."

She put the window back up and reached into the backseat to retrieve her bag.

"Clarisse?"

"Yes?"

"When did that happen, the kitchen incident?"

"Erm, November time…"

Rose cocked her head to one side eying her sister quizzically. "And yet you stayed on until the end of March, why?"

"Oh just, just because."

"And nothing else happened?"

"I never said that." She swung her door open. "But we don't have time for that now, come on. If we get this over with quick I'll treat you to coffee and a cream cake before we have to drive again."

* * *

_Bit short - sorry - more soon xx Rhonda_


	5. Chapter 5

**Part 5**

Rose flung open the library window and closed her eyes as she took a deep breath of the fresh damp air.

"This room is stuffy." She proclaimed as she moved on to unlock the next window.

"I know." Clarisse added standing in the centre of the room with her hands on her hips looking around. "But it's my stuffy room."

"True." Rose pushed forward on the window frame but it steadfastly refused to budge. She glanced over her shoulder at her sister raising an eyebrow. "Obviously the previous owner didn't open this one very often… or painted over the hinge."

"Or both." Clarisse smiled lightly stepping forward to assist her sister. Together they pushed forward on it until the paint finally cracked and the window burst open. The ocean breeze, fresh and salty, swam into the old room.

"Well that's much better." Rose smiled dusting her hands on her skirt.

"Much, shall we have some tea?"

"You drink too much of that stuff you know."

"Do I indeed, well it's too late for me to change now."

"Probably, any ideas how you're going to decorate?"

"Many, but I plan to hire somebody to carry the work out, I never was one for DIY."

Rose laughed and perched on the windowsill. "The nails darling." She said mockingly. "Wonderful view from here, the sun is coming out."

"Good. I want to landscape the garden as quickly as possible, take advantage of the summer and relax in it. Perhaps grow strawberries."

"You sound excited about it." Rose closed her eyes again as the breeze touched her face.

"I am a little, I haven't had my own home… well practically never. Do you remember father giving us each a plot when we were young, and I grew tomatoes."

"And they were set upon by slugs."

"Yes, because I forgot to safeguard them. Well I learnt my lesson."

Clarisse poured two cups of tea and handed one to Rose. "Do you know of anybody who could tackle the garden?"

"Perhaps somebody in the village, we'll make a few calls later. I'm sure Martin knows of somebody."

"Thank you dear, I'm not sure I could have done all this without you."

"Of course you could. You just like to flatter me." Rose smiled at her. "You still look tired."

"I do feel a little weary." Clarisse sat back on the couch still covered with a dustsheet and closed her eyes. "I plan to retire and relax."

"Can you afford to?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Good for you."

They were silent for a while, Clarisse dozing on the couch and Rose sipping her tea as she surveyed the surroundings of her sister's new home.

"Clarisse…"

"Hmm?" She sleepily replied.

"May I ask you something?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you come home for Christmas?"

Her eyes shot open and she sat up quickly. "Oh I don't know… work."

"Clarisse?"

She stared at her sister for a few moments the shook her head running a hand through her hair. "For many reasons."

"Which are?" Rose probed.

Clarisse jumped up from the couch. "Perhaps we better get back, get started on arranging a temporary gardener for me."

"Don't avoid the question."

"Please don't do this to me." Clarisse suddenly found she was shaking, her throat tightened and she felt the walls closing in around her, "Please, I can't…" She hastily wiped at her face fearing the tears would spill over and reveal her true feelings. "I can't…"

* * *

Richard shook the snow from his coat and removed his scarf and gloves. He stomped his feet on the carpet and quickly made his way down the corridor towards the staff kitchen. He was desperately in need of a drink and a warm by the fire.

The kitchen was crowded, the maids gossiping as they sat around the large oak table eating hearty soup and thick crusty brown bread. A couple of the chefs remained listening to the chatter and joining in the observations. It was a week before Christmas and many would be returning home in a few days leaving only essential skeleton staff behind to run proceedings.

They all looked up as Richard descended the stairs.

"Any news?" Samuel, head gardener at the palace for twenty-five years, asked concerned.

Richard shook his head resolutely. "Not yet. They're still out looking, the weather's getting worse, I can't believe it wasn't even predicted." It wasn't often the staff witnessed Richard get angry or lose his calm measured outlook. "I need a drink." He proclaimed sinking into a chair.

Somebody placed a shot of brandy in front of him. "Why not have something to eat too, it's no good you starving yourself." Michelle pleaded sitting across from him, leaning her hands over to his.

"No there isn't time, later."

"But you'll be taken ill." She added concerned.

The clicking of shoes on the stairs caused her to draw her hands back and glance up at the stairs as the housekeeper descended.

Clarisse smiled broadly at the staff gathered around the table, she felt rather happy this afternoon. It was her morning off and she'd slept late, before taking a long hot bath and reading, pure uninterrupted private time. It wasn't often she got it and after many months everyone knew never to disturb her when that day finally arrived. Added to that she was hoping to leave for England in four days time, Richard assured her they could handle things and she hadn't been home in so very long.

"Good afternoon," she smiled happily as she crossed the kitchen. "This all looks very cosy."

"Perhaps you can help." Michelle said rising and moving to the fire. "We're trying to convince Richard here to have something to eat."

"Surely the man will eat when he's hungry." Clarisse said pouring herself a glass of water and turning to face them all, she leant back on the work surface as they all stared at her.

"He's not eating because he's trying to be heroic." Michelle snapped.

"And why would he attempt to be heroic may I ask?"

"Haven't you heard?" Richard finally said standing up and glancing at her.

"Heard what?" She asked cradling the glass between both of her hands.

"The King's car, we lost contact with it over two hours ago, they never reached the consulate, and what with this weather…"

Whatever he was going to say was broken by the sound of Clarisse's glass hitting the floor and smashing. She stood dumbstruck staring at him.

"I'm sorry…" She said shakily trying to form words. "The King is…"

"Missing." Samuel said quickly.

Richard expertly moved across the room and caught Clarisse's arm to support her trembling body, he steered her over to a chair and hid her obvious embarrassment by instructing the staff to return to their work.

"I'm sorry." She repeated. "It was, a shock." She swallowed. "I'll be fine in a second."

"It's alright, we're all shocked, and worried." He sat down next to her holding her hand. "I just didn't expect such a reaction from the usually stoic Miss. Arcenciel."

She glanced up at him sharply.

"Would you like to share with me whatever is bothering you?" He quickly said.

"Apart from his majesty being missing you mean."

"And the strange way you have been acting around him for the past month, or rather avoiding him for the past month."

"I…" She swallowed again suddenly feeling quite dizzy.

"Look I'm sorry." He said quickly. "I didn't mean anything by it, just an observation." He squeezed her hand. "I'm sure we'll find his majesty safe and well. Christmas will be here in no time and things will be fine… Perhaps I can even entice you out again, dinner, to celebrate?"

She looked up at him, was he really raising such an issue now?

"It might be nice, I know we never made it out again but the first time wasn't such a disaster was it?"

She shook her head. "No, it was very nice."

"Good."

She was surprised by the way he moved his head forward, suddenly his face was so close to hers, his eyes closed and he leaned down to her lips just lightly brushing her mouth with his.

With a hand on his chest Clarisse pushed him back. "Don't." She blurted out.

"Sorry?"

"I said don't." She hastily jumped up from the chair. "It's hardly appropriate now with all this happening…"

"Clarisse, am I to believe…" he shook his head, it suddenly struck her he was annoyed. "Am I to believe you are interested in another man?"

She couldn't quite grasp where he was leading this conversation, in fact she was downright confused by his behaviour. She'd never known him be rude or pushy, certainly never overly dominant.

"I'm not leading you to believe anything, I certainly never led you to believe there was anything serious between us and I'm sorry if you feel I have." She brushed her skirt down; she was back in charge of her emotions now. "There is nobody, I merely feel that with the palace in a state of panic discussing our private life is something that is highly inappropriate. Now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do."

* * *

Clarisse hid in her office pretending to work, she'd instructed Amanda, a young maid new to the job who she liked very much, to keep her informed on any updates about the King. 

As she paced her office occasionally glancing up at the window for any signs of Joseph's return she repeated to herself that she was only worried about the well being of the monarch. But no, it wasn't true, she couldn't deny it anymore. She cared about Joseph, not the king, certainly never her ruler or monarch. She cared for Joseph, the man who sat with her by the fountain and had casual chats. The man who took an interest in her from the very start, whose eyes never left her face during conversation, who danced with her as if she were the only woman he'd ever touched.

She couldn't quite explain the fear that gripped her chest, that assaulted her stomach and left her a quivering wreck. The thought that he could be harmed; the thought that she might never see him again was too much, too overwhelming. She couldn't recall the last time they'd spoken, when she'd last passed him in the halls or given him her weekly review. She felt the need to get out of the palace, out of the country. Away from everything.

Flinging open the French windows she stepped out onto the balcony and immediately shivered as the snowflakes whipped past her face. The gardens were breathtaking, she couldn't deny the beauty of the country, in such a short amount of time it had become so very dear to her. She scanned the horizon, whiteness surrounded her. The storm showed little sign of passing.

The door behind her swung open and she turned quickly to see Richard standing there, breathless and pale.

She turned, waiting for him to speak.

"We have news."

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

**Part 6**

Clarisse passed several security members and a rather harassed looking private secretary on her way to the King's private quarters. She entered quickly and quietly balancing the tray on one hand whilst managing the doors with her other. It was late, past 2a.m. the palace was virtually shut down, the majority of the staff in bed. Only she remained to take the King a hot drink.

He was in the lounge, on the couch by the fire; casually dressed he looked perfectly relaxed and perfectly healthy.

"Warm milk sir." She said business-like as she entered the room.

"Clarisse, thank you so much for the hot milk, makes me feel like a complete invalid."

She placed the tray down on the coffee table. "Then Sir permit me to take it away again."

He laughed, it surprised her. "That is why I love having you around Clarisse, you're always direct."

She couldn't help but curtsy for him. "I aim to please, I shall leave you alone to enjoy your milk and recuperate."

"No please, stay, talk to me… as a normal human being perhaps, not as the returning hero."

"I hardly think you're being treated as a hero sir, after all a flat tyre can happen to anyone."

"Indeed it can, how would you describe me as being treated then?"

She smiled. "I'm not sure you wish me to say." She turned and closed the drapes.

"Feel free to tell me exactly what you think."

"Well I think," she turned back to him. "I think you're being treated as a much-loved monarch who went missing for a few hours during an unpredictable snow storm."

"Much-loved?" He raised an eyebrow.

"You know you are, by all the staff, young to old."

"All?" He questioned, his face suddenly very serious.

She hesitated then nodded. "All."

He swallowed and took a deep breath. "Do you fancy having a drink with me? Something more than warm milk."

"Well I…" She stopped herself and smiled. "Yes, but I'll get it. What would you like?"

"Brandy, thank you."

"Very well."

He watched as she crossed the room, the way she moved, the way her legs looked in that dress.

"Are you looking forward to going home for Christmas?"

"Oh very much so." She found herself grinning as she turned back to him brandishing two glasses of liquor. "Can't wait to see my niece."

"Ahh Louisa right."

"Oh you remembered, how wonderful, I didn't expect…" She realised how over the top she must sound. "Well it's very nice of you to remember."

"Of course, I'm interested in your family, your interests." He held his glass out and she hesitantly clinked hers against it.

"That's very good of you. Tell me, just how did you occupy yourself in the back of the car for three hours?"

Joseph laughed. "That sounds rather, well, a leading question."

"Ohh you know what I mean." She said stifling a giggle yet feeling her cheeks instantly redden.

"Well Shades and I played a few games of eye-spy."

This time she did giggle. "I'm sure that passed the time."

"Very entertaining, now change the subject." He twisted on the couch to watch her. "Tell me about your day."

"My day." She took a sip of her drink. "My day was a little dull sir."

"Joseph."

"Alright, my day was a little dull Joseph." She smiled coyly at him over the top of her glass. "Everybody was worried about you."

"Including you?"

"Of course, you are the King."

"A fact we can never escape…" He watched intently as she took in the meaning of his words and leant back on the couch. "Tell me Clarisse, just what are we getting into here?"

She took another sip of her drink. "I believe it's termed 'a conversation', we exchange thoughts and ideas and pass the time of day."

"You're quite funny you know that."

"I do try."

Again he attempted to broach the subject. "And seriously, what are we getting into?"

"I have no idea what you mean sir."

He decided to side step the subject, or better still approach it from a different angle. "I wanted to apologise to you Clarisse, the way I acted after your dinner-date with Richard was completely out-of-line and out-of-character."

"Oh, well I'd already forgiven you, no need to apologise now." She drained her glass. "Would you like another?"

"I haven't finished this one yet." He smiled at her, at her obvious embarrassment.

She glanced away from him, to the fire, to the family pictures adorning the mantelpiece.

"Do you plan to go out with him again?"

"Why are you so interested." She snapped suddenly turning her attention back to him. She watched the faint smile play across his face, he enjoyed her forthrightness. "Does it bother you, my dating him?"

"Yes, if I'm honest, yes it does."

"Well I don't think you have anything to worry about."

"Oh?"

"I'm not sure Richard and I will be developing our relationship… I think he has plenty of female admirers without my attention being needed."

"But perhaps your attention is what he wants."

Clarisse shrugged. "I noticed Michelle was rather interested in his well-being this afternoon."

"Ahh, well, he once dated her."

"What?"

"For a few months… people think I don't notice things."

"I think you notice everything." She took his now empty glass from his hand and moved across the room refilling it with more brandy.

"Why tell me now?" She asked gently as she returned to the couch. "I mean why didn't you tell me before, you could have dissuaded me from dating him."

"It's your decision my dear, I wouldn't try to influence you. You're a bright, intelligent lady, I'm sure you can reach your own conclusions."

"Well thank you, I think that's praise."

"I wouldn't offer anything less." He sat back, arms outspread along the back of the couch, totally relaxed. "I love spending time with you Clarisse, you're a wonderful woman. I enjoy talking to you."

She cleared her throat and turned her gaze away from his. "Thank you, so many compliments in one evening."

"I mean it, I've never been one to lie."

"I would never assume you would…"

"So do you believe me now when I say there hasn't been a woman in my life since the death of Isabella?"

He gave her time to consider her answer, no pressure, simply sat there a polite distance away from her aching to reach out and touch her yet far too proper to ever actually do it.

"Yes." She mumbled. "Yes I believe you."

"And do you believe me when I say I care about you, as more than just an excellent housekeeper."

She sensed the smile in his words and appreciated his attempt to lighten the mood. Yet she couldn't reply, not verbally, instead she nodded her head very slightly.

He took a deep breath as she did so and moved forward on the couch placing his glass on the coffee table. He was sitting next to her now, mere inches apart; he could hear the tightness of her breathing. She was as nervous as he was.

"That dance Clarisse, I can't forget about it, lord knows I've tried. You're always in my head… I find myself wandering the palace on some pretence just so I can catch a glimpse of you."

"Please don't." She blurted out. "Don't say things like that…"

"It's true, you must know." Hesitantly he reached forward and touched her hair, wound his fingers through the loose strands that hung over her forehead. His voice dropped to a whisper. "I can't take my eyes off of you."

Her breath caught in her throat and she made an odd noise as she attempted to breath again, she coughed and closed her eyes. The room suddenly felt so warm, so very intoxicating, surrounded by him.

"I was so worried about you, it's silly, we barely know each other, not really, not fully." She coughed again opening her eyes and sitting back slightly. "I was scared you wouldn't return, or that you were hurt. Scared for you… I felt sick all day."

"Clarisse." He said her name as if it were the most precious thing in the world; she finally gave in and looked into his eyes, such warmth and tenderness there. She couldn't ignore his feelings any longer; they were there for the world to see.

"We can't do this." She mouthed, her voice failing.

"Slowly, we can get to know each other, learn… I want to know everything."

His hand traced down her face and she caught his wrist to stop him.

"How? It isn't possible."

"It is." He was leaning into her, she felt his body against hers, memories of that night dancing after the Halloween ball flooded through her and her body longed for him to hold her again.

"This isn't right." She protested. "How can I feel like this? This isn't me, I don't do this kind of thing, instant attraction…"

"I fell for you the moment I saw you."

"That kind of thing doesn't happen."

"It did, you're the most beautiful…"

She held a hand up to silence him. "Please don't," she shook her head, "don't flatter me."

"All right." He smiled slightly and leant over her again, his face was moving closer to hers, she felt herself lick her lips instinctively. Oh god no it wasn't right.

"No!" She pushed him back. "No, I won't do that… I won't." She jumped up from the couch knocking Joseph sideways a little. "I won't sleep with you."

Joseph stood to face her yet allowed her distance; he didn't want to pressure her. "I never expected that." He said softly watching her closely. "I care too much."

"How do I know that really? Ohhh…" She clasped her head in her hands frustrated. "I don't know you. I can't ever know you, not the real you, don't you see that?" She asked imploringly.

"I thought…" his voice was shaking. "I thought we were getting somewhere, together."

"We can't ever be 'together', never. And I won't be the King's mistress. I won't be some common whore."

With that she replaced her glass on the coffee table and shakily straightened her cardigan. "It was a mistake to stay with you. I'm sorry, it won't happen again."

"Clarisse please, let's just talk, we can just talk."

"I need to… I have things, work, to do. I'm sorry." She strode towards the door. "Goodnight sir." She added without looking back.

* * *

"Here." Rose handed Clarisse another tissue and tightened her hold on her arm. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

"You haven't." Clarisse snuffled. "I'm the one whose sorry, I never cry, never. Now I seem to do nothing but."

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"Maybe not." Clarisse closed her eyes and dropped her head backwards against the wall. "Perhaps it's a sign I'm getting older, over-run with hormones playing up."

They were sitting on the bare lounge floor, both leaning against the wall, cuddled up next to each other. The sun was setting and a dusky light now filled the room, it was still warm though, almost sticky.

"Listen, how about we stay here tonight?"

"How can we." Clarisse said huskily. "There are no blankets, no food…"

"I can provide that, if you'll permit me to borrow your flashy new car."

Clarisse smiled. "Thank you Rose, for being here, for listening to me."

"But of course. Now I think we indulge ourselves and have pizza and wine and something with chocolate in it." She squeezed Clarisse's hand. "I'll go fetch the essentials, you stay here and gather yourself."

"I need to tell you everything Rose, the rest… I need to tell somebody, I can't keep bottling it up."

"I know darling I know. I won't be long. Then we can talk more."

* * *

Clarisse poured the wine and carried it through to the lounge, whilst Rose collected napkins and followed her. She placed the pizza box on the floor and sat down on the only piece of furniture left in the house, an old couch. Clarisse stood by the window sipping her wine, night was definitely here now and the valley was shrouded in darkness. 

"Are you going to sit down?" Rose asked as she helped herself to a slice of pizza. "You should eat."

"I will." She glanced over at her sister and smiled. "It's years since I had pizza."

"You've been away too long. Come sit down."

She nodded her agreement and sat down next to Rose curling her legs beneath her. She'd decided over an hour ago that there would be no more dancing around the subject now, she would tell Rose everything, she would finish the story.

"He came to find me the following morning, after that night, after… well, after I turned down his advances."

Rose slowly chewed her food and said nothing allowing Clarisse to delve into her memory and share her inner most thoughts.

"I was in the Gym of all places, it was only early, not even 6a.m. I was foolishly trying to alleviate some of my frustrations, anger even. And he stood watching me, sweaty and looking frankly bloody terrible."

Rose laughed and Clarisse took a gulp of her wine. "I was leaning over the exercise bike, trying to catch my breath and he came up behind me."

* * *

"Good morning Clarisse." His voice was gentle yet it shook her and she jumped feeling her heart constrict.

"Please, don't feel… unnerved." He offered and held his hands out. "I haven't come to upset you, that's the last thing in the world I would ever do. I don't wish to put any pressure upon you."

She stepped down and dabbed her face with a towel. "All right."

"I just want you to know that I would never think of you as somebody who was… less."

She raised an eyebrow, querying what he meant.

"I'm sorry, I'm struggling here." He said honestly folding his hands together. "I'm not very good at this, to be honest I've never had to deal with this kind of situation. I just couldn't let you, us, go on with our day without clearing the air. I'm not angry Clarisse and I don't wish you to be angry or upset or anything that might cause you to feel you have to leave here…"

"Leave?"

"I wondered," he swallowed. "I wondered if you might feel that it was too much, that I had over stepped a line, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable working here, you're a damn fine house keeper and I want to keep you here. As much for my staff's well-being as my own." He allowed himself a small smile.

"I didn't mean to scare you, or to offend you, and I certainly have never and would never think of you as 'a common whore'."

She shrank at the reminder of the words she had used the previous night and suddenly found herself at a loss to speak.

He was watching her closely, gauging her every reaction. "I can't deny that I care about you Clarisse, already, but I certainly would never push you into anything just because of who you are… and who I am. If I misread the signs I apologise, if this is one-sided I apologise. I understand your position."

He sighed, sadly she thought. "This has taken me by surprise." He said nervously. "The truth is I think you're a very special lady and I enjoy being with you, spending time with you. I hope we can go on working together."

He held out his hand for her, formally, standing tall. She noted the signet ring on his wedding finger and hesitantly placed her hand in his. He placed his other hand atop of hers and shook their hands very gently.

"Thank you for coming to speak with me." She said flatly, any trace of emotion hidden from her words.

"Of course." He reluctantly let go of her hand; her skin was so soft, so silky. He resisted the urge to lift it to his lips and kiss the back of her hand. "Well have a good day Miss. Arcenciel."

"Thank you sir."

* * *

_Well, we're slowly getting there, hope you're all sticking with me & still enjoying it! x R_


	7. Chapter 7

**Part 7**

"It was what I wanted." Clarisse said softly. "I wanted things to be simple, to return to normal, to simply work for him again."

"What went wrong?" Rose asked.

Clarisse shrugged. "I'm not sure, I'm not sure at all. I thought it would be easy. I was stupid!" She said angrily leaning forward and refilling her wine glass. "I missed his attention, I hated the fact he thought I didn't return his feelings because I did… I honestly did."

"Were you in love with him then?"

Clarisse stretched her legs out. "I'm not sure, possibly," she shook her head. "Probably yes. Oh you know I'm not very good at this, how many relationships I have had, seriously."

"Two, if we count the King, three."

"And how many times have I chosen the wrong man."

Rose smiled. "Two, maybe three."

"Not exactly a proven track record of success."

"No, why did you stay over Christmas?"

"I'm not sure, I think mostly I was embarrassed to come home, afraid you would know something was wrong. And maybe, a part of me didn't want to leave him." She shrugged settling back on the couch.

* * *

Christmas passed slowly for Clarisse, she didn't go home, for some reason she felt ashamed. Ashamed for allowing herself to get too close to Joseph, for her feelings to get too intense and somehow she felt that if she met up with her family they would see through her and immediately know the truth. She was a fraud. Somebody who pretended to be in control, a consummate professional, and yet she was flirting with the person she should keep the most distance from.

She busied herself with planning new timetables for the following year, with organising the calendar and putting together order forms for various items that needed to be purchased. It was dull and lonely work; most of the staff were enjoying the holidays.

The King and his sons spent Christmas Eve and Day at a retreat, a family meeting. Clarisse never questioned it, part of her didn't really wish to know what they got up to at Christmas, she felt slightly jealous. Boxing day they returned to the palace, she and a handful of maids and two chefs took care of the celebratory meal that took place that evening, only a few close friends attended, it was easily organised.

Joseph was as pleasant as ever towards her, he complimented her on the decoration of the palace and the swift organisation of the traditional New Year Ball. But there was something in his eyes when he looked at her, something more… she didn't dare to analyse it.

The evening of the New Year ball was frantic and busy and Clarisse hardly had time to breathe. At a quarter to midnight the staff working that evening joined the celebrations in preparation for the countdown to midnight. Joseph gave a brief speech wishing everybody a prosperous new year and thanking them all for their hard work.

Clarisse stood at the back of the room, hiding herself away. She wore a long cream dress embroidered with gold, it wasn't new but it was the first time she'd had the opportunity to wear it. As Joseph scanned the room he caught her eye, she looked away, to the floor avoiding him.

The room broke into applause and she realised his speech had ended and the final dance was taking place. Folding her arms behind her back she raised herself on her tiptoes to glance over the crowd, the elite were waltzing, she recognised the tune. She watched Joseph glide across to the centre of the floor with a breath-taking young brunette on his arm. Well young, younger than the both of them anyhow, mid-thirties perhaps.

"Fine looking woman isn't she."

She turned sharply as Richard whispered in her ear. "Lady Desai. Friend of the King's cousin James, he's been trying to set them up for a while. From a good breed."

Clarisse bit down on her lip. "You make her sound like a horse."

Richard laughed. "Well it's true, women aren't viewed quite the same in royal circles, as you very well know."

She took a deep breath avoiding his leading comment.

"Well would you like to dance Clarisse?" He touched her elbow.

She glanced at him mulling it over. "No, no I don't think so." She mumbled and looked back to where Joseph was elegantly guiding Lady Desai around the floor. "I'm sure you have plenty of other female admirers who will happily accompany you this evening." She said cuttingly.

"Yes I suppose so, but then it seems so does the King."

Refusing to rise to his comment Clarisse ignored him and waited until she was sure he had left her side before she backed out of the room. She walked the long empty hallways, the music died behind her and she listened for the chime of the clock. The cheers of the crowd signalled it was midnight, a new year.

Holding back tears she made her way up the far staircase to the upper library. It was the smallest of the three in the palace yet Clarisse had discovered it had the most wonderful of views from the tiny balcony. It was there she stood overlooking the grounds, gripping the stone balcony, feeling the rush of ice-cold wind flow over her body. She would leave; it was her only choice, how could she stay? Richard knew, that much was obvious to her now, and if he knew then surely other staff members must have realised, or would soon enough.

Then there was Joseph, just what did she know about him? He seemed honest, trustworthy, caring… well he claimed to care for her. But beyond that, he was the King for goodness sake, he was brought up to be selfish and vain and spoilt. He got whatever he wanted, what woman would ever deny him? He could simply click his fingers and they'd be there in his bed waiting. And yet she was expected to believe that he'd spent the last fifteen years as a widower who never even glanced at another woman. It simply didn't wash. She couldn't accept it.

Lord knows how long she stood there. At the rear of the palace she was out of earshot of the celebrations taking place in the other wing, of the music ending, of the guests leaving and most of all she was unaware of the man who had scoured the palace looking for her and who stood behind her now.

"Happy new year Clarisse." His voice was low and sounded rather emotional as he approached her.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before turning to face him.

She took in his appearance, he'd dropped his dinner jacket, his bow tie was gone and his top few shirt buttons open. Yet his face looked drawn, tired perhaps, worried. He moved closer to her, stopping just inside the balcony doors, always watching her, always searching her reaction.

She could hardly breathe; hardly think straight, all resolve to fight him off seemed to disappear as he stared at her. She closed her eyes in an attempt to escape his penetrating gaze but she could smell him, feel his warmth as he took another step closer and her body seemed drawn to him. She longed to feel his arms around her, holding her.

When she looked at him again her vision was bleared, tears stung her eyes, she refused to cry in front of him, she refused to cry in front of any man yet the will of iron she had strived to build over the years seemed to melt in his presence.

She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out, her throat was tight and rigid, her body shaking involuntarily. Joseph stepped closer again, his arms unfolding and reaching to her, he caught her upper arms and she almost fell against him.

Fighting back her own tears she noticed the moisture welling up in his eyes as he moved his mouth over hers. He was trembling too and their lips met hesitantly, hardly touching, barely breathing. A light tremulous kiss where neither was sure of their next move, simply of the need to be together. Their lips parted, Clarisse took a deep breath and leant forward again and this time the kiss was more secure.

Joseph's strong arms circled her back and she clung on to his waist as their mouths moulded together, she felt a surge of want shoot through her body. He pulled back, touching her face, stroking her skin, her hair, kissing her forehead.

"You look stunning…" he breathed, kissing her again. "Stunning."

She shook off his words glancing at the floor, at the way their bodies pressed tightly together almost devouring each other. Intensity didn't even come close to what she felt.

"Why did you leave?" He kissed her forehead and then her mouth as she looked up at him. "I wanted to dance with you."

"How could you?" She snuffled. "You were dancing with Lady something or other."

He couldn't help but smile. "But I wanted you Clarisse."

"You have the pick of the most beautiful women in the country."

"I'm with the most beautiful woman in the country."

She would have blushed if it weren't for the fact her face was already red and clammy from crying.

Reaching up she touched his face, ran her long slender fingers down his cheek to his mouth.

"I'm in love with you." He whispered.

"I know." Was the only response she could muster. "It terrifies me."

"And me." He kissed her hair. "I never knew this existed, I never knew a woman could do this to me."

She shivered in his arms resting her head briefly on his chest. "This is the first time in my life I've never known how to handle a situation." She swallowed and took a deep breath. "I'm usually the one in control."

"As am I." He replied stroking her back. "But now I feel as if I'm placing myself in your hands."

"Don't say that." She stepped back from him slightly, looking to his face.

"Why not? It's true, right now you could ask anything of me."

"I wouldn't do that." She replied softly turning away from him and once again looking out over the extensive grounds.

"And that's one of the reasons I love you." His arms were around her again instantly, his chin on her shoulder.

"Why do you think this happened Joseph? After all these years, all this time I've spent alone and then I meet you and everything changes, everything I believed in is gone. All those standards I praised myself on."

"You've lost none of those standards, this isn't about you chasing after the King like some wanton maid, you see past the title, you treat me as an equal." He breathed deeply and she shivered as his breath caught her neck. "Sometimes the way you look at me… you have the most amazing eyes, do you know that?"

She wordlessly shook her head.

"You do, god Clarisse," he hugged her tight against him. "You take my breath away."

"Joseph… please, I can't…" The tears ran down her face again and she reached up to rub her eyes. "I can't."

"Why not?" He whispered gently kissing her cheek.

"Because." The words caught in her throat and she swallowed again trying to gain some kind of control over herself. "Because I'm afraid." She angrily wiped at her face, her tears becoming erratic as she shook in his arms. "I'm afraid."

"Shh, my darling." He squeezed her body to his, reached down and folded his fingers with hers. "My love. I'm here, I'll do whatever I can."

She closed her eyes and leant her head back onto his shoulder taking huge gulps of the winter air.

"Take me some place." She snuffled, finally opening her eyes and blinking away the tears.

"Hmm." He kissed her neck, softly, repeatedly.

"Take me away somewhere."

He rested his chin on her shoulder. "Where would you like to go?"

"Anywhere…"

"How about England?"

She laughed lightly, at odds with her teary expression. "Yes."

"How about Devon?"

"Mmm, yes, home."

"Would you show me around?"

"Yes."

He kissed the side of her head. "Long walks?"

"Yes, and then when we return home…"

"…which is a little old cottage." He interrupted.

"Yes, when we returned to our cottage we would sit in front of the fire, and roast marshmallows."

This time he laughed. "Okay, marshmallows, and kisses?"

Her voice dropped. "Yes."

He squeezed her waist and she closed her eyes again.

"Stay with me tonight." He breathed into her hair.

She swallowed, battled her own desire to be with him against the uncertainty in her heart. "I can't."

He nodded his head in agreement; he already knew what her answer would be. "Then stay with me for a while. Here. Just let me hold you for a while and pretend that all this…" he gestured out to the view. "That all this doesn't matter, only we do, only you do."

She took a deep breath before turning back to him. Straightening his collar she nodded her consent and lifted her mouth to his again. He drew her inside and closed the balcony doors, the room, she realised, felt slightly chilly. She allowed him to lead her to the oversized couch and quickly sat down.

Joseph surprised her by stooping to remove her shoes; he cradled her feet in his hands and massaged her ankles before he moved to sit with her. They twisted and turned trying to find a comfortable position before finally his arms found the right angle around her waist and her head rested against his chest. They lay tangled together on the couch in the darkness, the only sound of Joseph's hand tracing circles on Clarisse's arm.

* * *

"We didn't even speak." Clarisse whispered into the dark room. "He just held me, it had been so long since I'd been held, if in fact I'd ever been held in such way."

She quietened, slightly embarrassed by her revelations.

Rose reached out from beneath the blanket that covered both of their legs until she found Clarisse's hand. Folding their fingers together she stroked her sister's hand reassuringly.

"You don't have to hide anything from me. I didn't realise…" She said gently.

"Didn't realise what?" Clarisse managed to choke out.

"That it was real, deeply real. That my little sister finally found someone."

"Yes, only he turned out to be wrong, or I did." She shook her head. "I was delusional to think it could ever be anything more. We inhabit two very different worlds."

"Yet you stayed until April?"

"May actually, I went to France for a while, to hide away." Clarisse yawned. "Goodness I'm tired."

"Then sleep, we can finish this tomorrow."

"Yes… tomorrow." Clarisse said sleepily as her head fell back to the cushion.

* * *

_Sorry to end at such a point - promise next chapter will be up soon. xx Rhonda_


	8. Chapter 8

Part 8

The café at the corner of the village wasn't a top-class establishment. There were no fancy designs on the napkins, ketchup bottles stood on the table and the tea came in a metallic teapot. Yet Clarisse hardly even noticed, she'd woken late with a heavy head and been irritable ever since. Try as she might she couldn't shake the feeling that had settled in her stomach, something like a lead weight.

"Darling I do wish you'd cheer up, you're going to put me off my lunch." Rose said before biting into her sandwich.

"How did it all go so very wrong?" Clarisse said absently toying with the salad on her plate. "January was wonderful, perfectly wonderful."

"How so?" Rose asked refilling both of their teacups.

"It just… well, I was enraptured, he was. We couldn't get enough of being together, sneaking around never even occurred to me as being a negative thing I just needed to see him, be alone with him. Each morning he took breakfast in his suite and every Wednesday, my morning off, I would eat with him. Nobody noticed, nobody questioned. It was arranged as the time I met with the King for briefing, nothing more."

"And what did you actually do?"

"You can take that look off your face," she smiled as she lifted her teacup to her mouth. "We talked about place settings of course, and his preference for white plates instead of patterned… in between brushing up on our kissing technique."

Rose laughed heartily and received a few odd glances from other restaurant goers as she did so. "Kissing techniques indeed." She leant across the table folding her hands together conspiringly. "Tell me, just how good a kisser is the King of Genovia?"

"Rose, keep your voice down." Clarisse chided but couldn't hide the smile that crossed her features. "Very good actually."

"Only good?"

"I'm not telling you anything more if you don't get rid of that dirty mind."

"All right, all right I'm sorry. Now tell me, in between kissing, what else did you do?"

"We talked, shared things, hopes, dreams, our pasts, childhood… everything. We danced, in his room, late at night when the palace was quiet. We laughed together. Swapped books, listened to music, everything one would expect. Only somehow with him everything was much more profound, much more important and sacred. As if it might end at any moment and I wouldn't have done enough, wouldn't have given him enough."

She glanced down to the table, at the chintzy patterned tablecloth. "I forgot who I was with him, as he did with me. Or rather I was more myself than I'd ever been."

She smiled broadly, trying to hide it by biting down on her bottom lip. "One Sunday there was a note beneath my door, asking me to join him for a ride to the lake. I went of course, he even let me ride his new prized possession, can you imagine a quarter of a million pound racehorse and I was cantering down by the stream! It was still cold but the ice had melted and everything smelled fresh and wonderfully new. I don't know how he arranged it all, especially without revealing whom his guest was, but we arrived at this secluded spot just after lunch and there was a table and chairs and food all prepared… even wine. It was all obviously so romantic and, just perfect, but the thing that stayed with me was the thought that he had taken such time and effort to plan that for me. The image of him sneaking down the staff halls at god knows what time in his pyjamas to slip that note beneath my door."

She smiled again, less joyfully this time. "I wish things…" she shook her head. "Well they never could be easy."

"So how did it go wrong?" Rose said gently.

Clarisse shrugged her shoulders. "As things do we ran into differences."

"How so?"

"It was his son actually, of all things, his son."

* * *

Clarisse was laying on the chaise lounge, her shoes had been removed and Joseph was expertly massaging her very tired feet, staring into space as he did so.

"I was wondering about Thursday, I know you're away Wednesday and Thursday but according to the diary you should be back by the evening. We could have something to eat together, to make up for our loss of ritual breakfast."

She waited for is response but none came.

"I could arrange a late night picnic, I know it's the middle of February and still cold out so don't laugh, we could have it in here. A carpet picnic. What do you think?"

Again she waited.

"Joseph… Joseph are you listening to me?"

He snapped out of his daydream and looked up at her. "Yes, yes my dear I always listen to you."

"Something's bothering you."

"No."

"Either something's bothering you or my company is getting dull."

He smiled and squeezed her foot. "Certainly not that." Kneeling up he leant over her and kissed her lightly. "Would you like a drink?"

"We have wine."

"I need something stronger." He said as he got to his feet and moved to the liquor cabinet. "Can I get you anything?"

"No thank you I need to be up early and it's late already." She turned and placed her feet back on the floor watching him down a whisky then quickly pour another measure. "Joseph this isn't like you, what's wrong?"

"I…" he gazed across at her, "It's difficult for me to say this but I'm not entirely sure how to broach the subject."

"All right." She said slowly folding her hands in her lap. "Is it my staff?"

"What makes you think that?"

"Well if you think my work has deteriorated."

"No, no, don't be silly."

She ignored the 'silly' comment and decided to move on. "Something with parliament then perhaps."

"No my son." He said sharply.

For a few seconds he stood with his back to her in silence, then he shook his head. "I'm sorry, this has nothing to do with you."

"If you're upset and want somebody to talk to then it has everything to do with me does it not?"

He sighed and relented turning to face her. "Philippe has met somebody in America, wants to marry her."

"Well… that's wonderful isn't it?"

His eyes narrowed. "Not really. She's pregnant."

"Well then he should marry her, especially if he loves her."

"He does, very much I believe."

"Then what's the problem?"

He took another deep breath and downed the rest of the whisky. "The problem, Clarisse, is Pierre won't be taking the throne, he's joining the Church therefore Philippe will be my natural successor…" he had begun to pace. "I can't have the future King of my country married to some common American girl just because he made a foolish mistake."

She waited for a moment, catching her breath, going over his words in her mind. "Excuse me?"

"Don't look at me like that." His voice sounded emotionless.

"Some common American girl?"

"Clarisse, don't."

"No, you don't. This girl has a name, how can you assume she's some cheap foolish mistake?"

"Because she is, she's normal, no titled family, divorced parents, an artist, a free spirit."

"Then what am I Joseph, I'm not from any titled family neither."

"That's different." He said frustrated.

"How so may I ask?"

"Because you will never be…"

He stopped mid-sentence and stared at her, then turned away sharply instantly regretting the words.

"Because I will never be what Joseph? Never be Queen right, never be your wife, never be more than some foolish common English woman who foolishly believes some pompous King is more than what he seems."

She grabbed her shoes from the floor and stormed across the room heading for the door.

"Clarisse, don't leave, come on I didn't mean it."

"Yes you did, you did. That's what's terrible about it… I've been blind enough to overlook the fact that I am just some common person to you, I'm good enough for the odd secret fondle but nothing more."

"You know that's not true."

"You just proved to me that it is."

"No I didn't, I was speaking about my son, I want the best for him."

"You're making it worse, how can the best not be the woman he's in love with?"

"Duty…" he offered weakly.

"Fuck duty!" She screamed. "To hell with duty, what about his heart? You force him to abandon this girl you'll break his heart. Just as you're breaking mine."

"Darling." He reached out to touch her face but she backed away. "Clarisse, I never meant to hurt you, you are so very important to me you know that."

"Not as important as your country."

He breathed deeply. "You would never ask me to put you before my duty."

"No I wouldn't, I couldn't. But the fact… the way you've spoken this evening has shown me a different side to you, a ruthless selfish side that would allow age-old ritual and so-called duty to stand in the way of a young man's happiness. I think that is something you need to think about your majesty."

He stuck his hands in his pocket and raised his chin defiantly. "Then perhaps I need space to think about that alone."

"As you wish." She said with as much dignity as she could muster before leaving the room.

* * *

Pushing her half-empty plate away Clarisse sighed and ran her hand through her hair. "We didn't speak for two days, avoided each other like school children. Then he went away on some trip, I don't remember where. Was supposed to return on the Thursday night and I had planned, resolved to go and speak with him, clear the air as they say."

"But?"

"But, he didn't return, he extended the trip and stayed away until the following Tuesday, no phone call, no message, no note. I'm not sure why I expected things to be different. It was I after all who predicted he would use me until he was bored, that it was a passing fancy… that the King always got what he wanted then moved on again." A gasp caught in her throat and she bent her head forward hiding her face.

"Clarisse, shall I get the bill?"

She nodded without looking up. "Yes, please, I…" she raised her head steadily reaching for her handbag. "I need some air, I'll wait outside."

"Yes, go, I'll be a second."

Clarisse crossed the road outside the café and leant against the stonewall hoping the high breeze would rid her of the tears. The farmer was moving his cows from one field to the next; she watched the slow deliberate movements, how long it took for such a simple task to be completed. It would drive her insane, no patience; she always demanded things there and then.

Rose rested her hand on Clarisse's shoulder. "Shall we walk for a while?"

Shaking off her melancholy she turned back to her sister. "Don't you need to be getting home, you were away all yesterday and last night."

"Martin can cope for a while."

"He must know something is wrong."

Rose nodded smiling. "Yes, he's not a complete philistine. Yet he knows when to let things be."

"Hmm, I wish I did."

"Tell me Joseph returned begging for your forgiveness."

"Hardly." Clarisse said glancing back as the Farmer completed his mission and locked the gate. She reached over and linked her arm with Rose's. "Come, let's walk back to the house, perhaps the fresh air will help clear my head."

* * *

It was Richard who signalled Joseph's return, she bumped into him in the main foyer around 7:30 in the evening. To be perfectly honest she was rather flustered to realise Joseph was back in the palace, so flustered in fact that she didn't even notice how agitated Richard was.

"Clarisse, sorry, wasn't looking where I was going." He said as he caught her arms.

"Oh it's fine, neither was I." She straightened herself up. "Did the trip go well?"

"Yes I think so, his majesty hasn't said much to be honest, he's up in his office."

"Nobody informed me he would be returning today."

"Nobody knew, he seems to be on a spur of the moment thing." He ruffled his hair and she noticed how tired he looked, much older than his forty-one years. "Listen I wanted to say, sorry if I offended you at New Year, too much stress and too much champagne."

"I had forgotten about it." She lied offering him a smile.

"Thanks. You're a good housekeeper Clarisse. Professional."

She wondered where the conversation was headed but took his words as kindness and thanked him. To her surprise he simply nodded and continued on his way down the corridor.

She watched him for a while then remembered where she was headed and went about her nightly checks. Finding everything as it should be she was prompt to the kitchen at 8:00 and had a cup of tea and attempted a sandwich but found she couldn't eat a thing.

Anxiety settled in her stomach leaving a rather sickly after taste. Joseph was back in the palace, which meant she couldn't avoid him any longer. Perhaps he would come and visit her that evening, it was about time they sorted things out, it was foolish and immature to simply avoid each other, and they couldn't keep that up forever anyhow. Besides, he claimed to love her, and if he really did, if his feelings were as strong as he claimed then surely he wouldn't let what they had slip away after one argument.

Clarisse sat in the kitchen for over an hour waiting for his appearance, she assumed he seek her out there reasoning that in the past it was where the usually bumped into each other. Yet when the clock struck 9:30 she gave up waiting and in fact was now desperately angry with him. Seething she decided then and there to put an end to this, whatever it was, once and for all.

Marching directly to his office she noticed the guards had been placed at the entrance to the corridor rather than directly outside the door. She walked straight past them, neither said a word to stop her, and, without knocking, pushed open his office door and barged on in.

Ceasing mid-step, her mouth wide open and poised to launch into her attack she stopped and froze. Joseph was on the couch, casually dressed he looked relaxed and at ease. He had one arm lounging on the back of the couch, he was turned sideways and smiling light heartedly at his companion. A young blonde sat next to him.

"I…" She floundered, trying to engage her mouth with her brain.

Joseph stood up quickly, his eyes clouding over. "Ah, Miss. Arcenciel. Well, right." He seemed a little nervous, she was too angry to notice. "Erm, Charlotte, this is my housekeeper."

The blonde on the couch stood up and held her hand out to Clarisse.

"Clarisse, this is Charlotte." He said reaching for her elbow guiding her forward.

"Charlotte, my excellent housekeeper." He said smiling. "I'm assuming she has important news for me."

"I er." She coughed, regained her senses, thrust her hand out to the other woman and shook Joseph's hold off. "I didn't realise you were back Sir, nobody informed me."

"I am sorry, last minute changes." He said not daring to catch her eye.

"Very pleased to meet you." The woman said, her voice was a little timid, American she assumed.

"Well, I'll leave you to it. Sorry to intrude." She wished she were able to smile, but her face wouldn't allow it. The muscles in her face seemed to have frozen and refused to obey her commands, she could barely form words.

Somehow she backed her way to the door and finally turned her face to meet Joseph's, he stared at her for a few seconds then looked away sharply and glanced at the floor. All the answer she needed was in that moment and she hastily exited the office and headed straight for her room.

* * *

A long shower and two glasses of wine later Clarisse crawled into bed yet she couldn't sleep, she didn't really expect to. Turning on the bedside lamp she moved to the desk and chair at the other side of the room and shuffled through the papers laid out there. 

Work however didn't appeal and she quickly pushed it aside. She considered taking sleeping pills, it was getting on for 12:00 after all, but she'd already had alcohol therefore she was stuck. It looked like being a long night.

* * *

_OOOHHHH! Please leave a review and let me know what you think so far. Thanks Rhonda_


	9. Chapter 9

Part 9

It had been years since Joseph had taken the back stairs at the opposite end of the palace. Years since he'd walked the staff corridors, he'd certainly never done it at 1:30 in the morning dressed in his pyjamas. But somehow in the past month he managed to make the trip twice and there was only one explanation for his out-of-character actions, a woman.

The higher members of staff had the larger rooms hidden away from the others. Clarisse was situated across from Richard's suite. Tip-toeing across the hallway Joseph took another deep breath and tapped on the door.

Standing there for what seemed an eternity he assumed she must have already gone to bed and turned to leave when the door creaked open slightly.

She looked as bad as he felt. His gaze softened as he took in her desolate expression but she stood up tall and pulled her dressing gown together.

"Yes?" She said harshly.

"We need to talk." He whispered.

She didn't respond, merely stood watching him, at the way his hands knitted together as he folded and unfolded his fingers.

Eventually she stood back from the door and granted him access to her room.

It was the first time he'd ever visited her there, the first time he'd ever looked over the place she inhabited, the place she slept and worked and bathed. Her heady perfume hung in the air overwhelming him, her clothes for the following morning were hung ready even down to her shoes placed precisely in front of the wardrobe. It didn't surprise him; in fact it made him smile.

"Erm, may I sit?" He asked indicating the chair by her desk.

"Feel free."

"Won't you sit?"

"I prefer to stand."

"All right, Clarisse why do you think I'm here?"

She could hardly believe his question. "Why do I think you're here? Well let's see, does it have anything to do with the fact you haven't spoken to me in over a week, you've been seeing some woman behind my back, you've played me for a god damn fool. And really, well, I don't know why I'm so surprised!" She folded her arms, staring at a spot on the wall above his head rather than at his face desperate to maintain her stony calm.

"Okay." He said softly. "Then let's deal with it one at a time shall we. Playing you for a fool whilst I see another woman isn't true."

"I saw…"

"I know what you saw, and I'd prefer it if you let me finish. Charlotte is going to be joining the staff; you barged in on her interview. Unorthodox I know but I needed somebody quickly."

"For what?" She snapped.

"Personal assistant."

Her eyes narrowed. "What about Richard?"

"I'll explain later… look, I know I upset you last week and I'm sorry, more than you'll ever know. It's been hell this week not seeing you, speaking with you."

Some of her resolve softened and her arms fell to her side.

"I've been in the States with Philippe, meeting this woman, Helen."

"And?"

"He's coming home soon… alone."

"How wonderful you successfully reminded him of his duty." She almost spat the last word out.

"No, not exactly, nothing is settled, we all need time." He rubbed his forehead. "God you must understand how difficult this is for me, there are things going on at the moment that I've never had to deal with, never expected would ever happen, and it's driving me crazy. I haven't slept in three days."

Her heart tightened as she watched him.

"I never expected Pierre to abdicate, I never expected Philippe to fall in love whilst on holiday. I never expected to have to raise two sons alone and deal with this alone. To meet somebody like you… everything at once, it's caught me off balance."

He looked up at her, searching her face. "I'm sorry I hurt you, nothing would be further from my mind, my intentions. I wish this were simple, I wish I weren't who I am and have to keep turning my personal feelings off but I don't know how else to deal with these things. I wasn't brought up to address emotional issues, easier to switch it off." He shrugged. "But you, you've touched a part of me… and I can't." He sighed. "I need you, I've missed you."

"I missed you too." She said gently. "But you hurt me, you shocked me. I'd never seen that side of you, I suppose in a way I'd forgotten who you are, what you'd been raised to do. To rule. And I'm not sure I can be part of that, ever, or that I can accept you as being this cold, emotionless person when you need to be."

"I know nothing else."

"I understand that. Really I do. I'm not blind, I've moved in these circles long enough to realise how it works."

"The way I feel when I'm around you…" he faltered. "I can't even explain."

She moved forward and reached down for his hands. "I never expected this to be easy Joseph, I guess I got so caught up in what was happening between us I didn't stop to consider what it all meant. There really is no future for us."

"Don't say that please." He almost pulled her down to him. "I can't imagine not having you in my life, not now." His chin rested on her head and he closed his eyes breathing in the scent of her hair.

She lifted her head to speak but his mouth shakily found hers, searching her kiss, searching for her consent. Her hand reached up and slid over his shoulder giving her leverage as she met his mouth with hers. He moaned into her mouth and his arms were suddenly around her body clinging to her, holding her against him.

"I'm sorry, god I'm sorry…" he mumbled between kisses. "I love you, Clarisse."

"I know."

He held her face in his hands, stroking her skin tenderly. "That night when you left me, I paced around for hours hoping you'd return, wondering whether I should go after you. And then Philippe needed me and I…"

"You did what you had to." She smiled. "Oh I'm sorry for barging in on you, I must have looked so bossy, the poor girl will be terrified of me."

"Mmm." He leant forward and sought her kiss again, more demanding this time, more intense.

Holding her hands he stood up with her and they moved backwards to the bed. Falling together their bodies quickly moved together, legs and arms cradling the other close.

"I've been so lonely without you." He breathed moving to kiss her neck.

"I'm sorry I doubted you." She replied pulling him back up to her and meeting his mouth with hers again.

His hands slid over her body, feeling her curves through the silk of her dressing gown. Blindly he pushed the material aside and kissed the tender spot at the base of her neck. She moaned her approval and his hands moved up over her ribcage, his thumbs just tickling the underneath of her breasts.

Her leg tightened over his drawing him closer and he moved up her neck adorning her face with kisses, she ran her hands down his arms, feeling the well-defined muscles there. Feeling his hands move over her she felt as if the bed beneath her had fallen away and she were drifting.

His hand closed over her breast and she gasped and pulled back from the kiss.

"I can't," she said breathlessly. "I can't."

Joseph pulled himself back from her, heart racing as he desperately fought to control his body. He kissed her shoulder. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to push you."

"You didn't. I wanted…" Her breath caught in her throat as she urgently tried to communicate her reasons

"It's fine, really, we got carried away."

"I don't mean to lead you on."

"I know that."

"But I just… it's silly, it's stupid of me. I can't escape the fact that it's only been two months, and…" she swallowed trying to control her erratic breathing and voice her fears. "And I can't erase from my mind the thought of who you are and what you… what you expect from women."

An expression of hurt crossed his face and she cupped his cheek. "Oh I didn't mean that, I want to trust you completely but it's so difficult, not just because of who you are but the fact I've been alone for so many years. I'm scared that if we sleep together you'll have what you want and this wonderful relationship we're building will be shattered."

He took hold of her hands and kissed them. "Then we won't. You're far too important to me to risk losing. Just let me hold you."

"It's late." She said gently as she turned in his arms.

"I know, just for a while then I'll go, you relax me."

She smiled as his arms settled over her waist and his chin against her shoulder. Stroking his arm she listened as his breathing settled into a steady rhythm, the feel of his heart beating against her body felt so unbelievably right she couldn't even begin to explain it.

"I love the hairs on your arms." She said absently.

"How so?" He asked amused.

"They're so soft, and smooth." She added stroking them backwards and blowing on his skin.

"It's that your seduction technique Miss. Arcenciel?"

"Hardly." She exhaled heavily. "I'm not at all sure I have one. Do you?"

"No, I've never had the need for one, arranged marriages take care of that for you."

"But surely King's are supposed to have some fun aren't they… sow their wild oats and all that."

"Really," he laughed after a few seconds. "And tell me dear lady just what fun are Queens supposed to have according to your laws?"

"Ahh well Queens don't have any fun at all, in my country they lay back and think of England."

He laughed harder, she felt his chest vibrate against her back and he kissed her neck.

"I guess that works." He said honestly.

"Did you love Isabella?" She whispered, almost unsure about asking him such a personal question.

"Yes I did." He replied. "I loved her very much."

His honesty surprised her but she remained silent and continued stroking his arm.

"But it was different, it was something that grew slowly out of respect and admiration and companionship. You…" He squeezed her tight and nipped her ear. "You have swept me off my feet."

She giggled. "And there I was thinking it was you that was supposed to do that to me."

"Oh and I haven't…" He grabbed her waist and swung her over on top of him. "Are you ticklish Clarisse?"

"No." she lied resting her hands either side of his head to steady herself.

"I think you are." He smiled cheekily tracing his index finger down the side of her body until she squirmed against him.

"Stop…" she warned, her voice dropping.

"Make me."

"My room, my rules."

"Oh all right." He agreed settling his arms over her back and drawing her body into his.

"You should go." She said lazily tracing patterns over his exposed chest.

"Are you getting bored of me?"

"Not quite yet." She teased. "But I worry of somebody noticing you aren't in your room."

"I know. I certainly don't want to put you under any pressure, we can take this as slowly as you want."

"Thank you, it is still all rather surreal. I've been doing this job for years, I've heard of many affairs between 'the classes', I've never heard of a royal actually genuinely caring."

"Well this royal does…" he took a deep breath preparing to continue but she interrupted.

"Ahh but I don't see you as a royal. You're just you."

"And I like that."

"Hmm." She kissed his forehead briefly before moving from his body. "Go."

Groaning he rolled his legs off the side of the bed and tightened the belt on his dressing gown. "I thought relaxing with you, clearing the air would help me sleep. Whilst in fact it's going to prove even more difficult tonight."

She rested her hands on his shoulders and rubbed his muscles. "Try and have sweet dreams." She kissed his head. "And I'll see you tomorrow."

"Early morning walk?" he asked hopefully.

"Afraid I can't, busy morning. Perhaps later."

"Yes, all right, I'm going to be tied to my desk for most of the day, come see me when you can."

"I will."

He turned his head slightly to look at her. "Promise?"

She smiled, her heart almost leaping out at the look in his eyes. "I Promise."

* * *

_If you enjoyed it please, please, PLEASE leave a review for me :-) xx Rhonda_


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** Own none of the Princess Diaries characters just having some fun with them.

**Part 10**

Rose folded her arms and leant on the wall over looking the fields behind Clarisse's newly acquired home.

"You have some view here, you know that right."

"I do." Clarisse leant next to her.

"I suppose you're used to fine views."

"Hmm, I suppose I was getting that way. Spoilt."

"Very by the sounds of things, although it seems to me like you were working your way through things."

"Yes, for a while…" she laughed suddenly.

"What's so funny?"

"That next day, oh, I was spoilt."

"Go on… I'm intrigued."

* * *

Clarisse rushed her early morning tasks, she realised she was doing it and tried time and time again to slow down and concentrate. But for once her heart was the organ in control and she longed to see him again.

Under the pretence of needing him to sign something or other she casually strode into his office just before lunch with a wad of completely useless documents beneath her arm.

This time she stopped and knocked on his office door.

"Come." He said quickly.

Breezily she entered the room attempting not to grin as she neared his desk.

"Well hello." He said suddenly breaking into a smile and removing his glasses. "And how may I help you?"

"Sir, I have some very important documents for you to sign."

"Oh really." He said amused but deciding to play along. "And just what might they be concerning?"

"Oh something highly important." She said dropping them onto his desk and placing her hand over his. "Hello."

He dropped his pen and took hold of her other hand. "Hello my dear, how has your morning been?"

"Erm, rushed. And yours?"

"Dull, very dull. I'd much rather sign things for you."

"I'm sure, you haven't had any lunch."

"I know, have you come to chastise me over it?"

"Only a little, I haven't eaten either." She stood up straight again. "Though I see you've worked your way through a rather large plantation of coffee."

He eyed the collection of coffee mugs gathering on his desk. "Hmm, I lost track."

"You should be buzzing." She said as she passed by his desk and began fiddling with the plant standing on one of the cupboards.

"I promise to cut down on my coffee intake, now does that please you?" He swung round in his chair watching her.

"Greatly." She replied rather nonchalantly and moving on to the next cupboard where another plant stood. She pulled the dead leaves out and dropped them into the wastebasket.

"Clarisse."

"Yes?"

"Come here for a second."

Ceasing her ministrations she moved back to his desk, only this time on his side. "Yes sir?" She said feigning shyness.

He caught hold of her waist. "No, come here."

She slipped down onto his lap. "Why this is unexpected." She smiled fiddling with his tie.

"Stop tidying me and kiss me instead."

"Is that an order?"

"A request." He said moving his face inches from hers.

"Oh all right then." She lowered her mouth to his and instantly they fell into a sweet intoxicating moment of bliss. He nipped her lower lip with his teeth, cradled her head in his hand as they continued to taste each other.

Her hands ran over his back, she tilted her head back and he found her neck and gently suckled on the tender skin there.

"Join me for dinner." He whispered huskily as he moved up to nip her chin.

"Now?" She smiled.

"No," he kissed her mouth. "Later, this evening. In my suite."

"Won't the staff wonder who you're eating with, ordering for two?"

"Surely your brilliant mind can come up with some elaborate plan."

"Perhaps." She ran her hand over his beard, funny how it didn't bother her when they kissed.

"I have something for you anyway my darling, a gift I bought back from America."

"Joseph you don't have to buy me things."

"I know, but this time I sincerely wanted to. Accept it without questioning, just this once."

She eyed him suspiciously but nodded her consent before releasing herself from his grasp and shakily standing up. "Until this evening then." She said tidying her hair.

"Yes, until then." He held onto her hand as she tried to move away and kissed her fingertips. "Enjoy your day."

"I will try." She slowly pulled her hand away and headed for the door.

"Oh Clarisse."

"Yes?"

"Don't forget your very important documents."

* * *

"And what was the gift?" Rose asked staring at her sister, she couldn't remember seeing such a complete look of abandonment come over her.

"I'll show you." Clarisse said turning towards the house. "That evening was wonderful though, we ate well, drank well. Just chatted and laughed and…"

"Danced?"

"But of course, la musique est la nourriture de l'amour." 

"Je conviens tout à fait."

Clarisse laughed. "I forgot how well you speak the language."

"Well you did marry a Frenchman, one must make the effort."

"Your accent is better than mine."

"On peut mais essai."

"Indeed." She smiled as she slipped her shoes off and headed upstairs closely followed by Rose.

"I'm assuming he serenaded you with the whole deal, candlelight and the rest."

"How did you guess?"

"Hmm… well he sounds rather romantic."

"He could be, when the mood took him. We danced for hours that night, until the early hours, hardly even kissed."

"Kissing as you danced."

Clarisse allowed herself a private smile at the memory, swaying in time with Joseph's body, feeling his hands caress her body through the silk of her dress whilst his mouth worked wonders on hers.

"Now, when I show you this, don't faint."

"I will try not to." Rose stood by the window as Clarisse rummaged through one of the boxes, her belongings were beginning to take over the house now, she simply needed to unpack them.

"Here we go." Clarisse lifted a tightly wrapped package from one of the boxes, unwrapping the protective paper she'd obviously placed around it and handing Rose a black velvet box.

"Looks expensive."

Clarisse shrugged as Rose opened the box and whistled. "Well, diamonds and pearls indeed."

"We argued for over an hour about my accepting that particular gift."

"What the hell for? Goodness woman, dating a King, take whatever jewels he offers you."

"Very funny Rose." She took the box back and snapped it shut without even glancing inside.

"You've never worn that have you."

"No, I haven't."

"It is rather elaborate for lunch at the Ploughman's Arms."

Clarisse laughed and stood up offering her hand to her sister. "Come on, I should drive you home."

"Okay." Rose wearily accepted her hand and hoisted herself to her feet. "Hey if you're not going to be wearing that perhaps I could borrow it."

"Ha! I think not."

"Fair enough, but I'm getting impatient now dear."

"About what?"

Together they made their way down stairs into the wide airy kitchen, the sunlight seemed to bring the entire room to life, although still absent of furniture.

"Why you left, the final nail in the coffin."

"Rose."

"Well it's about time you finished this off I'm feeling rather irritated about it now, perhaps a little anxiety, in fact come to mention it my chest does feel a little tighter."

"All right, all right, goodness I wonder why I came home. I'll finish the story but when I have that's it, no more questions, no more revelations. What I haven't told you remains a secret."

"That's fair enough. You can tell me on the drive home and whilst helping me prepare dinner, family invasion this evening."

"Ahh, is my little god daughter coming along?"

"She is indeed, you can spoil her rotten… hey there's a thought, in years to come she might inherit that little box of expensive jewels."

* * *

The first two weeks of March passed pleasantly enough, the last of winter melted away and spring firmly stamped its hold on the Genovian palace. Clarisse had organised a revitalising clean throughout and the staff rose to the request admirably. Yet she had begun to notice subtle changes, the odd whisper as she passed, the odd glance her way that lasted a little longer than was comfortable.

March 23rd was her usual Wednesday breakfast with Joseph and after rising early she spent an hour in the gym before taking a shower and changing into a pair of smartly fitted black trousers and a different style of top for her. It was fairly long, simple black and fastened around the waist with a tie. A pair of earrings and a little perfume and she was more than ready for breakfast.

Humming as she made her way up the main staircase she felt wonderfully at ease and, though she loathed admitting it, happy.

"Good morning Michelle, Anna." She said warmly as she passed them.

Anna smiled and walked on but Michelle said not one thing simply glared at her. Clarisse noticed out of the corner of her eye that the girl had stopped and, with hands on hips, was watching her make her way down the corridor. Turning her head and slowing her step slightly she glanced behind her wondering whether to stop and ask what the problem was when Anna swiftly moved back and grabbed Michelle's arm almost pulling her down the stairs.

Desperately trying to shake the feeling of unease that was forming in her stomach she made her way down the long red corridor and up the small staircase that led to the King's private apartment. Always taking breakfast in his personal dining room Clarisse headed directly to it and, pausing to knock gently on the door, eased it open and stepped inside.

Her mouth formed to say something when she noticed the King wasn't alone. Joseph sat at the head of the table and Richard was standing over him leaning down on the table, obviously Clarisse had inadvertently walked in on something.

"Oh, I am sorry… I apologise." She moved to exit.

"There's no need Clarisse really, Richard was just leaving." Joseph said the words calmly but knowing him well now she noted the slight hint of anger in his eyes.

She stood aside as Richard shakily straightened himself and before shooting one last heated look at Joseph marched directly past her without even a second glance.

"Well." She said folding her hands together. "Some kind of ill mood seems to have settled over the palace this morning."

"Indeed." He stretched his legs out and uneasily smiled at her trying to change the mood. "But it will pass, come, let's have breakfast I'm ravenous."

He jumped up and strode towards her, arms open as he approached her and gripped her shoulders, kissing her cheek. "Good morning my love."

"Good morning Joseph." She returned his kiss and gave him a little hug. He smelt so good; she often forgot just how much she loved it, that familiar fragrance. The way his shirt felt beneath her fingers, warm and silky, expensive.

"Let's eat." He guided her towards a chair next to his by the window; the morning breeze lifted the curtains lightly.

"I've just had the most odd encounter with Michelle." She said as she unfolded her napkin and placed it over her lap.

"Really, how so?" He poured her a glass of orange juice.

"I'm not entirely sure, gave me the funniest look as I passed her and then just stopped and stared at me." She lifted her glass to her lips. "Before Anna dragged her away, tell me," she took a drink. "Does the top look that disastrous?"

He laughed. "Not at all, you look as gorgeous as you always do."

"Why thank you." She helped herself to pancakes. "Are you going to tell me just what was going on with Richard?"

"Hmmm." He took a deep breath. "Maybe not."

"Oh?" She glanced over at him as he bit into a strawberry.

"He isn't very happy with me."

"And I thought he'd like promotion, relish it in fact."

"Promotion?"

"Well I'm assuming that's why you're hiring this new lady… what's her name again?"

"Charlotte."

"That's it Charlotte, you said she'd be here next month."

"She will."

"So I'm assuming Richard will be moving up to a new post."

"Not exactly…" he hesitated for a second but he couldn't exactly lie to her, not now. "Richard will be leaving us I'm afraid."

"Wha… why?" She placed her fork down as she watched him.

"He knows about us Clarisse… figured it out a while ago I believe and, well we've been having a few disagreements over a few things."

"Not me."

He shrugged. "Amongst other things, his advice is that I should get you out of my system and put you away somewhere, pay you off."

She was too shocked to reply and simply continued staring at him.

"I'm not sure if it's jealousy or not but I won't have it."

"Perhaps he was trying to help… offering you the best advice that he could, isn't that his job?"

"Yes, it is. But some advice you don't wish to hear, I already know the problems this entails… I don't need him reminding me of them."

"So you fire him."

"I don't like the term but yes, the bottom line is I did."

"Because of me."

"In a very liberal sense yes."

"In every sense… and that's why Michelle," she gasped clasping her hand over her mouth. "Oh god the rest of the staff must know."

"I hardly think so, Richard isn't one to gossip."

"But he might be if suddenly he finds the King has gone behind his back and hired a new assistant without telling him and now he's facing redundancy."

"Oh it's hardly that Clarisse." He threw his napkin onto the table suddenly no longer hungry. "I'll make sure he gets another post, just not here."

"You're driving him out."

"Clarisse."

"That's what the staff will think, well isn't it!" She demanded. "And I'm the reason, that's what they'll all think. Richard's been here for over ten years and yet you dismiss him like that," She snapped her fingers. "You dismiss him when some housekeeper falls into bed with you."

"Well, we haven't." He said gruffly before standing. "There's nothing we can do to change it now."

"Oh well thank you so much for your support." She rose to her feet and shakily placed her hands on the table trying to hold herself together enough to string a sentence together. "Can you even begin to imagine how difficult it's going to be for me to walk out of this room and face all those people today?"

She glanced at him but he had his back to her, hands in his pockets and staring out of the French windows.

"Joseph, I have to work with them, this is my life too you know."

"And don't you think I'm trying to find a way to balance both." He finally turned to look at her. "I'm trying…"

"But you make these snap decisions without talking to me, you did it with Philippe, I'm not your child, you can't mould me."

"I would never dare to." He barked in response. "Lord knows you have your own views on everything. Including me."

"I can't talk to you when you're in this mood." She moved from behind the table and headed for the door.

"So you walk away!"

"What the hell am I supposed to say when you turn the blinkers on, you see one point of view, yours. So thank you so much for attempting to defend my honour and determine what route my life takes but I would like to make a decision."

Again she turned for the door but he caught her wrist. "Don't just walk out on me."

"Let go of me Joseph." She tried to pull her hand loose but he turned her around so her back was against the door.

"I'm turning my world upside down for you."

"I never asked you too, I wasn't the one who pursued you. You wanted this."

"I still do, more than ever."

"If you care as much as you claim to then try and see things from my point of view, my world is being turned upside down as well. I have no family here, no friends, certainly after this none of the staff will want anything to do with me. And, this is my job."

"You don't have to work."

"What are you suggesting, that I become some live in lover, on tap for your demands with no outside interests?"

"No. God no."

"Then what do you visualise this being Joseph… what can we ever be? You can't simply say 'this is what I want, get it for me.' No matter who you are, not everyone is going to jump at your commands."

"You paint me as some ogre."

"You're acting like one, firing Richard, that man would do anything for you. Putting me in this position…" she shook her head.

"Well then deny it all, anyone questions you deny it!" He was shouting at her now, she wasn't used to it. "If it's so awful to consider being with me then lie."

"Because having a reputation as somebody who fucks the King to get what she wants is such a wonderful destiny." She took a few deep breaths, finally shaking his hold off. "I told you before we can't have a future together. Never before has that seemed so true."

He opened his mouth to respond but found no words would form, dropping his head and closing his eyes briefly he took a deep breath and stepped backwards. Holding his arms out he shook his head.

"I have no response to that Clarisse."

"No, I didn't think you would."

No longer restrained by him she opened the door behind her and slid out. Once out in the hallway she leant forward just for a second, her forehead resting on the cool surface of the door. She refused to cry, refused to, she was too damned angry.

Digging out some inner resolve she stood up straight and tall and marched down the hallway, she had to get through this somehow.

* * *

_Hi all - just to let you know i'm off on holiday tomorrow so may not be any updates for a couple of weeks... sorry! Please don't forget me - and do take the time to review, i love reading what you think. x Rhonda_


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** Don't own any of these characters, merely borrowing for selfish reasons.

**Author's Note:** Okay so this is probably the end of the first 'part' of the story - hopefully you will stick with me for the next part :-) Enjoy

* * *

**_Fallen - part 11_**

Two days later, after managing to avoid Joseph at every turn, and Richard for that matter, Clarisse was called to his office. She knew exactly what it was about, she'd expected it, but that didn't make it any easier.

Somehow she managed to hold off until after 6p.m. partly apprehensive about facing him again, partly downright terrified of seeing him. Unsure of what to say, of what he would say, torn between wanting him to leave her alone and wanting him to be broken in half by their growing void.

"Come in." He barked from behind the other side of the door startling her out of her musings.

Steadying herself, making sure her mask was in place, she prepared herself for being face to face with him again and slowly pushed the door open.

"Come in Clarisse." He muttered without even looking up at her.

He was scribbling something down, she watched and waited as he finished and screwed the gold lid back onto his pen. At the way he slid his glasses off and deposited them on the table before rubbing the bridge of his nose. She chose not to notice the weary look on his face, the dark circles beneath his eyes, the redness of them.

"Well…" he said slowly, folding his hands together and very gradually lifting his face to meet hers. "Would you sit down please." He indicated a chair and she quickly sat down, crossing her ankles and placing her hands in her lap.

"I won't accept this." He said solemnly holding up a letter. "I won't."

"That's my decision."

"It's ridiculous, it's a joke, and it won't wash with me."

"You can't simply choose to ignore it."

"Oh believe me I can, in fact…" he began tearing the letter into pieces. "We might as well just burn this now."

"Then I'll print another copy. And another. And another."

"Clarisse…"

"As from today I have two weeks left to work here, then I leave."

Her words hung in the air heavy and awkward, the torn letter fell to the table and for a second Joseph slid his head into his hands.

"I made a mistake." He finally croaked out. "It was short sighted and it was stupid and now I'm paying for it, believe me, on all sides. But you can't leave over this. You can't simply walk away."

"Tell me how I can possibly stay now. I'm living the week from hell, nobody has spoken more than three words to me in the last two days."

"Then come to me, tell me how I can help, I want to help."

She shook her head exasperated. "God don't you see, it's because of your help that I'm in this position."

"All right then blame me, lay it all on me, make me suffer but don't leave."

She bit down on her bottom lip, his utter resolve that he could fix this so simply annoyed her even more.

"I have to go away tomorrow, Spain, state banquet." He stated.

"I know."

"Please don't make any decisions until I get back."

"I've already made my decision your majesty." She repeated.

"Clarisse… god a week ago we were cuddled up on the couch in my room barely dressed."

"Don't." She closed her eyes. "That's not fair."

"Then for gods sake tell me what is fair! Is it fair to turn your back on us."

"There is no us." She stood up and walked across the room in an attempt to put some distance between them, she couldn't take the way he looked at her with such intensity. "That's what I've come to realise, there can never be an us, it was a dream, a fantasy. I'm too old to simply play around."

"So this is playing around?" He sat back in his chair stretching his legs out, laughing sarcastically. "This is all just some game."

"You know exactly what I mean, midnight dates, dancing, giving me expensive jewels, cuddling on your couch… it's ridiculous. I'm too old for that, what's the point if we don't even have a future together. I need some kind of security."

"I've given it to you, I've told you I'll take care of you."

She groaned in frustration. "That's not what I want, I don't need your money, your status. I want somebody to grow old with, somebody to retire with, settle in the country… as small as that idea may seem."

"It doesn't seem small at all, it's what I want to." He finally stood up. "Unfortunately I don't think it's very likely that I will ever have that opportunity, certainly not anytime soon looking at the state of my sons lives."

His demeanour had altered slightly, gone was the pleading look in his eyes replaced with an acceptance of the inevitable.

"I can only repeat how much I want you to stay, that's all. I'm not sure what else I can do."

"Nothing," she assured him. "My decision has been made."

"Oh Clarisse." He moved forward and reached out to touch her but she backed away.

"It's easier if we don't do it that way."

"So I'm supposed to treat you as another employee?"

She nodded. "It will be easier, for both of us."

He swallowed, with some difficulty she thought. "All right, fine, well then. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." She met his gaze, wanted so desperately to say more but somehow held back. "Have a good trip."

And with that she marched out of the room without a second glance in his direction.

* * *

Somehow, despite everything, she was glad of the fact that he was away for the majority of her last two weeks. That way she could forget about him and pretend their 'relationship' never took place. That those weeks of love and happiness simply didn't exist. That made it easier to go, easier to visualise a new life outside of the Genovian Palace.

So much of her time was dedicated to putting everything in order she didn't begin to consider what she would actually do with herself when she did leave. It was with a sudden shock that she found her time was up and she would be leaving, leaving a job she'd truly loved doing, walking away from a man who… she couldn't even allow herself to finish the thought.

The last of her packing was done and her once beautifully decorated room was now bare. Two day ago the majority of her belongings had been taken into storage and she would send for them when she actually found somewhere to go. Her suitcases stood by the door and all that was left out were essential items for the following morning, clothes, toothbrush, make-up.

Around 11p.m. she made her way down to the kitchen, went to make herself a cup of tea but thought again and boldly opened a bottle of wine. What did it matter now?

"Pour me a glass too would you Clarisse."

She smiled without turning at the voice behind her and took another glass from the cupboard, carrying it over to the table.

"There you go Richard."

He slipped down onto one of the stools.

"Shall we have a toast my dear," he said softly, holding up his glass. "To forgiveness."

She clinked her glass against his. "Forgiveness." She took a drink. "What is it I'm actually forgiving?"

"My jealousy, the horrible comments I made to you in December, if I'd been more of a man then I would have ignored your relationship with his majesty and not caused so many ructions, problems for us both." He took a drink of his wine. "I lose my job, you walk away from yours… and him."

"Well, if we're blaming ourselves, if I hadn't been so stupid…" she shook her head. "I should never have allowed anything to start with him, and I'm the one who is sorry because it is purely because of me that you lost your job, and I regret that more than anything. You certainly never deserved the treatment you received from myself or Jose… his majesty."

He was silent for a moment before picking up the bottle of wine and refilling both of their glasses. "Well then, let's forgive each other and drink to new beginnings or some such rubbish."

She smiled. "Yes, some such rubbish."

"Where do you plan to go? Home?"

"Not yet, away somewhere, have a break then perhaps go and visit my sister, I haven't decided yet. And you?"

"Spain actually, in a few weeks. I have some connections there."

She nodded. "Good. I hope it works out."

"And for you too."

Placing her glass down and running her hand through her hair Clarisse leant back in her chair. "Goodness what a terrible mess." She sighed. "Such a mess."

Richard said nothing in response, only continued to sip his wine in quiet reflection.

* * *

"So that was it." Rose stated, her voice cut through the cool night air as she crossed the lawn towards Clarisse. "You never saw him again."

Clarisse didn't turn but instead continued staring into her half-empty wine glass. She moved along the bench as Rose got closer and made room for her.

"What are you doing out here anyway, aren't you entertaining?" Clarisse said finally glancing up at her sister.

"I might say the same to you, won't you come back inside? It's turned cold out here."

"I will, later, I just needed some air."

"Painful memories?"

Clarisse nodded. "Yes, I didn't realise talking about it all would make me feel… well, I thought I was over it."

"So answer my question, you never saw him again?"

"Who, Richard?"

"No, his royal highness."

"Don't call him that."

"Joseph, he never even bothered to come and say goodbye."

Clarisse took a gulp of her wine. "He did actually." She looked up sharply as another figure crossed the lawn.

"What's going on out here then?"

"Martin dear, we're just having a little chat." Rose smiled standing up and meeting her husband halfway. "Won't be long."

"Okay, but we're attacking the dessert so if you miss out don't say you weren't warned."

Clarisse couldn't help but laugh as Rose tutted her disapproval but was won over with a quick kiss.

Rejoining her on the bench Rose sat closer and rested her hand on Clarisse's bare arm. "You're cold."

"I know… hence the fact I have no husband teasing me over dessert."

"That's hardly what I meant."

"But it's true, I accept that." She took a deep breath. "Goodness I'm still so tired, I think I might skip dessert and go home if you don't mind."

"Of course I don't mind, but you are more than welcome to stay here you know that don't you."

"Yes, I know." She looked sideways at Rose and shook her head. "All right, I saw him that last night. I was taking a stroll through the gardens; it was cold, unbelievably cold. I got close to the fountain and he was there, almost waiting for me."

* * *

Clarisse stopped when she spotted him; reluctant to argue again she considered turning away and sneaking back without him seeing her. Then she felt her heart pound, her blood quicken and she hesitated, it was too late, he'd heard her footsteps and turned to face her.

She couldn't make out his face in the darkness, couldn't begin to guess his expression. He got up from where he sat on the fountain edge and moved towards her.

"May I call you Clarisse?" He said throatily, recalling their first meeting there.

She tried to speak but her voice eluded her, her mouth was dry, he was close enough now for her to touch him. His eyes shone as he smiled at her.

"Yes…" she mumbled. "Yes you may."

"Do you recall meeting her that night?" he turned away from her slightly gazing thoughtfully at the fountain. "Sitting here with you has become one of the most vivid memories of my life."

"Don't do this!" She blurted out. "Please don't. It isn't fair." She made to move past him but he caught her arm.

"Stay, just for a moment, you might have said all you need to but I haven't… permit me two minutes at least then you never have to see me again."

Pausing she gathered her resolve and turned back to face him. "What can you possibly have left to say?" She said harshly.

"Clarisse, please, don't be so cold… this has torn me apart, don't you realise that. I dare not think past tomorrow, that I'll never see you again." He swallowed. "And yet, I realise that you're right, it can't work, because I'm too selfish."

"Not selfish Joseph, you aren't that, you are just…the King, for goodness sake, I can't believe I'm even saying that. You are the King, and I am no titled lady who can ever grow old with you and share my life with you. As much as I might want to." She straightened her shoulders. "So, I leave tomorrow and we move on and forget."

"How can I forget? Tell me, what magical remedy is going to dissolve these feelings?"

"In time." She whispered and moved to walk away from him again but again he held her arm, tighter this time.

"Clarisse." His voice sounded desperate, cutting through her.

"Let me go, please."

"I love…" He swallowed, suddenly realising how contrite his words must sound to her. Instead he leant forward and gently and tenderly kissed her lips, he was shaking as he held her. "Vous prenez mon coeur avec vous."

She didn't realise her eyes were closed, but when she opened them again he had let go of her and was walking away. She didn't even try to stop the tears that slid down her face, who could see her in the dark night?

* * *

"So that's it." Clarisse said coldly. "That's my big romantic story." She turned her head slightly. "Rose, are you still awake?"

"Yes, yes I'm sorry." Rose hastily wiped at her face. "I'm sorry, I can't begin to imagine how you found the strength Clarisse."

"Oh don't be silly, it's just one more failed relationship."

"Don't try to tell me you've had that kind of intensity with every man you've dated. That you've felt that way about every man…"

She shook her head. "No, I wouldn't tell you that."

"Then don't brush this aside as some silly passing thing."

"But it's over now!" She stood up quickly. "It's over, and I've let go, Joseph was wrong, I am cold, it's how I get through."

Rose was silent for a second, struggling to find some way to break into her sister's resolve.

"Why did you go to France? Why didn't you come back here to me straight away?"

"I needed some time alone."

Rose stood up and grabbed Clarisse's arm forcing her to look at her. "Tell me you didn't go to stay with him."

"Rose." She struggled to pull her arm loose.

"For gods sake tell me you didn't go and stay with him."

"What does it matter if I did?" She finally succeeded in yanking her arm free.

"I can't believe you, I honestly can't. Clarisse you divorced him over thirty years ago. Yet still you do these things… you still let him into your life, did you tell him about all this?"

"Of course not." She snapped. "I'm not stupid."

"Did you sleep with him again, just like you did the last time you paid him a little visit?"

"That was ten years ago."

"Answer the question."

"Yes!" She suddenly shouted. "Yes, I slept with him, and what the hell does it matter, I'm single, he's single. And you know what Rose it felt good."

"Good! You're in love with Joseph and don't you dare try and tell me you aren't. Yet you keep him at arms length, yes blame him for screwing up your relationship but you have to accept you played your part. You're still the same, you fall in love with this man and you keep him at a distance yet Stephen, who has always treated you so very badly, so selfishly, you sleep with him when he snaps his fingers."

"You make it sound like I have no control."

"You're fifty-five now Clarisse, not twenty-five. You can't allow some selfish bastard to keep taking advantage."

"He didn't take advantage, I wanted it. All right, I wanted it. It takes away the pain…" She swallowed suddenly realising what she'd said. "I need to go home, Rose, thank you for dinner it was lovely." She crossed the lawn quickly.

Rose followed her. "Oh Clarisse, please, don't leave now. We need to talk about this."

"Not tonight, I'm sorry you disapprove Rose but you know Stephen did help me, he really did."

"Instant gratification isn't helping Clarisse… it's stalling."

Clarisse closed her eyes briefly for a second then shook her head. "Goodnight. I'll call you."

She paused at the kitchen and collected her bag before making her way around the side of the house to her car. Rose was wrong, there was no point in dwelling on anything, on analysing what happened with Joseph. It was easier to move forward.

"_And I won't look back  
And I won't regret  
__Though it hurts like hell  
__Someday I will forget.  
Don't call me, don't write  
__Don't show up in the middle of the night  
__You know that we need it  
__Some time and space to breathe in.  
__This is letting go…"_

* * *

_Well i hope you enjoyed that - please leave me a little review! Thanks x R_


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer:** Don't own any of the Princess Diaries characters - just borrowing them for a while.

* * *

_**Fallen - part 12**_

It was difficult for Rose to accept, or even begin to understand, why Clarisse had gone to stay with Stephen in France. In fact she had never been able to understand her sister's relationship with her ex-husband. After divorcing him Clarisse had moved back to Britain, only to return to France several times over a two-year period to stay with him.

This ended when he became engaged to another woman but when that marriage ended five years down the line in another divorce it was Clarisse whom he turned to. The surprising thing was for such an incredibly intelligent and astute woman Clarisse always went. She had continued to visit him over the years and, although she never revealed it, Rose suspected she never had a separate bedroom when she stayed with him.

That was why it was unbelievably difficult for her to accept that once again the person she'd had turned to was a man who treated her badly. A man who made her life hell during three short years of marriage. A man who obviously used her for whatever whim and fancy he had. Rose knew that Clarisse would never find happiness with this man, and probably would never want to, so it pained her deeply that her sister thought so little of herself that she would still sleep with him.

Still, things being as they are, she was her sister, and she loved her dearly. Therefore the argument was never again mentioned and neither was Clarisse's obvious heartbreak at leaving Genovia. Summer moved onwards and Rose would quite happily admit to anyone who asked that she was delighted to have her sister living nearby again.

Much of Clarisse's time was taken up by the new house, as always everything had to be perfect. She designed each room herself, had landscapers create an oasis of a garden and generally spent every waking moment ploughing money and energy into her new project. It wasn't in Clarisse's nature to rest and Rose wondered just what she was going to fill her time with once the house was finished.

Rose flopped down onto the couch and swung her legs up onto her husband's lap.

"Hard day dear?" He said absently as he flicked through the T.V channels.

"Yes, that grand-daughter of ours is turning into a real terror. Coupled with trying to keep up with Clarisse and you have one very tired wife… rub my feet." She nudged his elbow.

He placed the remote control down on the arm of the couch and took hold of her foot rubbing her toes. "Why don't you go take bath and I'll see to dinner tonight."

"Ha, does that mean fish and chips then."

"Of course." He smiled squeezing her foot.

"Sounds fabulous." She sat up ready to move. "I'll go take your advice."

"Okay. Hey I saw that er place earlier, on the news."

"What place?" She asked glancing at herself in the mirror.

"You know, where your Clarisse worked, Geneva."

"Genovia, and why was it on the news?"

"Ah, something wrong with their King, apparently not been seen outside the castle…"

"Palace."

"Yeah palace… in over two weeks, lots of speculation that he's on his last legs, family says he's just ill."

"Oh… and why was it on the news?"

"Ah I don't know." He stood up stretching his arms above his head. "Supposed to be attending some to-do over here I reckon."

Rose turned to face her husband. "Oh I see."

"Wonder if Clarisse saw it, bet she has some connections, could probably find out if the old guy's snuffed it, could be in newspaper, make a few quid."

"Martin." She placed a hand on his chest. "Don't mention it to her hey, she's still a bit upset about it not working out there."

"She's probably seen the news."

"Maybe, but even if she has, don't say anything to her love."

"Okay, if that's what you want. I'll give you half-an-hour in the bath then I'm off to get the chips."

"Deal."

* * *

Clarisse glanced out of the kitchen window, the rain that had begun so softly two hours ago had now turned into a thundering downpour. Sighing she tucked one leg behind the other and scratched her left ankle with her right foot, her hands were covered with flour. She kneaded the dough on the counter one last time and proudly lifted it into the baking tin. Her first attempt at bread making… well her first since she was twelve years old and ended up with a burnt stone at the bottom of a tin. The memory still made her blush.

Moving to the stove she placed the tin on the bottom shelf and wiped her hands on her apron. She turned the dial on the radio and hummed along to the piece of music that was playing. She actually didn't mind the rain this afternoon, the house had been finished a week and now she felt thoroughly comfortable there. It felt good to be alone enjoying the solitude, not having a reason to do anything other than relax.

She opened the fridge and scanned the contents mentally ticking off what she could scrape together for dinner, there was a bottle of wine chilling and she contemplated opening it there and then. However it was only 4:30 in the afternoon, best wait til at least 6:00. She passed the stove again and bent down glancing in, nothing happening yet, but then it had only been 10 minutes.

Her musings were invaded by a dull thudding on the door, whoever would venture out in this weather? It was hardly as if her neighbours were close, a good brisk 10 minute walk at least from door to door. Unless it was Rose, she often got bored in the afternoons and popped over regularly now for a chat over tea.

Switching the radio off yet still humming to herself she wiped her hands on her apron again and moved across the kitchen to the back door, the front was still waiting to be fitted and as such at the moment a fake one kept the weather outside. Through the panels of frosted glass she could make out a figure stooped in the rain, she quickly slid the bolt back ready to drag Rose inside and scold her for being out in such weather.

Frozen to the spot Clarisse gripped the door handle a little tighter, the pressure of the metal cutting into her skin. She couldn't bring herself to speak, couldn't find the words. She blinked attempting to wake herself from whatever dream she had fallen into.

"Hello Clarisse."

His voice was different to how she remembered, lower, bitter even. He looked so very old standing there, so very old.

"I know this is a shock to you but do you think it might be possible for me to come indoors."

Shaking herself awake she stepped back allowing Joseph entrance to her warm dry kitchen. For a second she contemplated running out into the wet weather and escaping but common sense took over and instead she closed the door. Although it took her rather a few seconds to be able to turn to face him.

"I don't understand…" she finally said.

"No."

"That's all you have to say." She folded her hands together as she stared at him. "I can't believe you're here, standing in my kitchen. I can't… goodness you're soaking."

"I couldn't decide whether to knock on the door or not, I've been standing in your driveway for a while."

"Joseph." She said his name gently, almost reverently. "Let me get you a towel."

She was gone for merely a second or two, not even time for him to glance around and gain his bearings, take in his surroundings.

"Here." She handed him the towel, careful not to touch his hand as she did so. "Now, why exactly, I mean… I mean after these past months, why are you here?"

"I wanted to call, to write, I never knew what to put."

She noted he was trembling as he spoke, as he patted his face and head with the towel.

"But, Joseph, we decided. You can't simply turn up." She was clasping her hands together and then unclasping them again unconsciously as she tried to make sense of what was happening. "Where is your security, are they in the car... I should make them some coffee or something, did you fly, how did you find me?"

"It took a while, I have, people do these things. You have a beautiful home."

"How can you stand there and say that… how can you be standing here, oh god." She clutched her face, trying to regain a sense of where she was and what was actually happening.

When she looked up at him again she noticed the trembling had turned into physical shaking, his whole body seemed to be overtaken with it. His shoulders heaved and his face… she hardly recognised his face.

"Joseph, sit down." She said gently finally reaching for his arm and leading him to a chair. "I'll get you something to drink, whisky, tea, something to warm you." She hastened around the kitchen putting the kettle on and then disappearing into another room and returning with a decanter. "I only have Brandy." She said absently. She poured him a glass and took it over to the table.

"Here."

"Thank you." He took is shakily and lifted it to his lips taking a sip.

"I hope it tastes okay, not as good… Joseph." She caught his hand before he dropped the glass and helped him take another sip. Tentatively she laid a hand on his forehead. "You're burning up."

Standing back she placed her hands on her hips. "You shouldn't be here. I heard… or rather I saw, on the news, you've been ill… I wanted to call somebody, I would have called Richard but of course…"

"He stayed." Joseph said slowly. "I asked him to stay."

"Oh." She was rather taken aback by this. "Well, good. Are you better, obviously not, what was wrong, what is wrong?"

"I'm fine, just the rain. Fear."

"At seeing me." She bit down on her lip. "You've lost weight."

"My Doctor tells me the same thing, I haven't been that hungry." He smiled sadly lifting his face to hers, staring intently at her. "You look so well, so good."

The kettle boiled and she welcomed the diversion. "I'll make you some tea. Where are you staying, I can drive you there, you really should take a bath and go to bed, try and warm yourself up."

"I'm not used to you being like this." He croaked finishing off his brandy.

"Like what?"

"Fussing about, you're always so organised."

"You've rather shaken me." She replied replacing the milk in the fridge and taking his tea across.

He stared at it and then back up at her. "I haven't got a place to stay right now, I landed only a short while ago, I didn't exactly plan this. I needed to see you."

"Oh Joseph, perhaps a telephone call would have been better."

"Too impulsive, always my problem. How have you been?" He asked hesitantly.

"Fine." She lied. "Well, busy, with the house… fine."

"Good, I'm glad. I missed…"

She held her hand up to silence him. "Don't, don't say that."

"Wonderful smell." He added quickly to cover the silence.

"Oh god my bread." She flung open the stove door and retrieved the loaf. "It shouldn't be ready yet, I must have had the temperature too high, I always ruin it." She put the tray down and chewed down on her lip as she slid a knife into the centre of the bread. "Still sticky inside." She said downhearted. "And black on the outside, story of my life."

She turned back to him, realising he was still there watching her amused.

"Well, I guess there is no bread for dinner." She said attempting to smile.

She untied the apron from her waist and went to the sink rinsing her hands. There was a smashing sound behind her and she turned as Joseph leant towards the floor attempting to scoop up the broken pieces of the cup.

"Damn it, I'm sorry, sorry…" he mumbled.

"It's okay, it's fine, Joseph don't touch it with your hands you'll cut yourself." She caught hold of his still trembling fingers. "I'll do it."

He tried to hold onto her hands but she stood again and went to a cupboard returning with a dustpan and a cloth. He could only watch as she cleaned up the mess.

"I'll buy you a new cup."

"It hardly matters." She sat back on the floor glancing up at him. "You need to rest. You can hardly hold yourself up."

"You're always so honest." He smiled but his eyes no longer had that warm glow she was so used to when he looked at her, in fact his eyes were desperately tired.

"You'll have to stay here, the spare room still smells of paint, that won't be any good for your chest, don't want this developing into a cold. You take my room, I'll sleep in there."

"Imposing old fool, it's okay, I'll call someone, leave you alone."

"No, I'm assuming you came all the way here for a significant reason, obviously we can't talk about that now…"

"The travelling took it out of me I guess."

"Yes," she stopped trying to work out what exactly was going on. "Whatever it is you feel we need to discuss we'll do it when you're better. I'm not so heartless to throw you back out into that weather."

"Not heartless at all." He said reaching forwards to touch her but she stood up too quickly and moved to the sink dropping the cloth in and rinsing it.

"You have no luggage." She said matter of factly.

"In the car."

"Keys?"

"Here." He dropped them onto the table. "Picked it up at the airport, new bloody things, can hardly work it out."

"I'll fetch your bags later. Come on," she held her arm out for him, standing at the side of his chair. "Let's get you upstairs."

"I've only just arrived."

"No jokes Joseph."

He nodded resolutely and took her arm, she almost had to pull him up.

It was a slow and steady job getting him up the stairs, half carrying him, he was almost passing out as they reached the top.

"Okay, here we are, you can sleep here."

Joseph fell back onto the bed and Clarisse moved to close her curtains.

"Do you want a bath?" She glanced over to where he now lay. "Perhaps better when you're able to hold yourself up."

She quickly stripped him off his shirt and shoes but wasn't quite prepared to take his trousers off, she went as far as removing his belt and helping him beneath the sheets. Resting her hand on his forehead she couldn't help but feel her chest tighten as she took in his appearance, bed sheets bunched up around his neck, still shaking so violently.

"How did you let yourself get so weak?" She whispered.

"I was a fool." He mumbled.

"You have a fever."

"Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep…" His eyes were squeezed shut.

"Sleep now."

"Missed her…"

Clarisse stepped back from the bed and bent to collect his shirt, she hung it on the back of a chair and listened as his breathing evened out, he was settling into sleep.

She moved to the door to leave, to go and get herself a strong drink and the hour be damned!

"Clarisse." He moaned.

"Yes?" She stepped back in looking to the bed. He still slept.

* * *

_Well i guess the next part of the story begins... please review xx Rhonda_


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer:** Don't own any of the Princess Diaries characters, make no money from this, purely for enjoyment!

* * *

**_Fallen _- part 13**

Unlike Joseph it took Clarisse rather a few hours to go to sleep. She checked on him almost every hour, he still slept; she thought of calling a Doctor then wondered how she'd explain a King sleeping in her bed. That was of course if the Doctor recognised him.

She passed an hour or so in mindless tasks,collecting his only bag from the car and after staring at it on the kitchen table for a good thirty minutes finally decided to open it. A couple of shirts, trousers, wash things, toothbrush, some kind of organiser, a charger for a mobile phone… meaning he must have his mobile phone somewhere, she mused. His damp jacket hung on the back of a chair near the stove and she checked his pockets locating the phone and bringing it to join his other belongings. It was turned off, she left it that way. She also found what she thought must be his wallet, she thought royalty never carried money, credit cards must be a different matter.

She packed it all back into his bag in a rather neater fashion than she'd found it before draining her glass of wine. She polished of the bottle, with nothing to eat neither. No wonder her head was spinning. Deciding there was little else she could do that night she made a weak attempt at cleaning the kitchen up; locked the door and went up to bed.

Joseph was sleeping deeply when she entered the room; he must have woken at some point though because his trousers were lying on the floor. She picked them up and folded them lying them on the chair with his shirt. She was still learning the house and as such had to turn a lamp on as she collected her night things. He never even stirred as she opened drawers and took out clothes for the following day and found her dressing gown and night creams.

Casting one more glance at him and deciding he looked remarkably comfortable she left him alone for the night and retreated to the spare bedroom. It did still smell of paint and she relented and had to open a window slightly to allow some air in, unfortunately it was still raining so she also had to lay a cloth on the windowsill to catch any stray drops.

It was with a spinning and confused head that she fell into bed, her heart even heavier. It wasn't the fear of what he might say tomorrow that scared her, it was the realisation that she knew exactly what he was going to say and she wasn't at all sure she could cope with hearing it.

* * *

When she woke the following morning the rainhad ceased and Clarisse was greeted by warm sunlight on her bed. She lay there for a while wondering just how the day would turn out, what surprises were in store for her. It was Sunday, she usually ate with Rose and Martin on Sunday evening. She must call them at some point.

She showered with a chair against the door just in case, there seemed to be no need to have lock fitted on it, besides there was an en suite in her room. After she dressed and went downstairs, the weather was actually turning out to be glorious and she happily opened the door in the kitchen and spent a few moments surveying her garden and if last night's horrid weather and caused any damage.

After making a pot of tea she returned to her room with a cup for Joseph. She placed it on the bedside cabinet but he still slept. Gently she eased open the windows to allow some air into the room and then returned downstairs.

* * *

Clarisse stood on her tiptoes to reach over the sink to the plants that stood in the windowsill.

"There my dears, it's hot today." She said as she watered them.

"You talk to your plants." A warm voice was behind her.

She turned to him, leaning against the door watching her, wearing a black dressing gown.

"Well, good morning… or should I stay good afternoon."

"Ah, sorry, what time is it?"

"Almost 1:00, I guess you were tired." She moved to the stove and lifted the lid on the pan sitting there. "I'm making soup for lunch, I figured you could heat it later if you… well, are you hungry?"

"Yes, yes, it smells good, did you make it?"

"I'm not wholly incompetent in the kitchen." She glanced over at him smiling. "You look better."

"I haven't slept like that in…" he stopped, staring at her. "Clarisse."

She reached to the cupboard and took out dishes. "Yes."

"Clarisse…" his voice softened and she sensed him moving across the room to her.

She felt her body stiffen immediately, she didn't want him to touch her, she couldn't cope with that.

"How long will you be staying?" She asked abruptly.

"Erm, I'm not sure it, well, I can go to a hotel if you prefer."

"Here?" She put the dishes down and turned to face him.

He nodded. "I came here to see you."

"You've seen me."

"To spend time with you."

She shook her head. "But you don't do that kind of thing, you can't just jump up and decide to come here and expect…"

"I expect nothing, I only hope." His voice was gentle, his gaze penetrating.

"What will people think?"

"They think I'm on my annual holiday, hiding away somewhere private."

"And security, this can't be safe." She was flailing, spilling out those hundreds of thoughts that had prevented her own sleep the night before.

"Only Richard knows I'm here. And James of course, for the security angle."

She paused, Richard, oh she'd treated that man badly. She wondered if Joseph understood, or even knew.

"If you want me to leave then I will, I'll go now. I didn't come here to scare you or isolate you, I needed to see you, I needed to know…"

"Know what?" She whispered.

He moved closer to her, she gripped the side of the table she leant against, he was too close, too close… she jumped, almost screamed in frustration as the telephone rang startling them both.

She stared at him, silent, she couldn't read his expression.

"I need to get that." She said as the telephone rang again.

"Of course." He stepped aside to allow her to pass and she reached for the phone on the wall.

"Hello, Rose hi, yes I know… later. A-ha…" She could feel Joseph mere inches behind her, one of his hands was resting on the side next to hers, his body was almost touching hers, she could feel the heat coming from him. Part of her was terrified yet part of her was almost throbbing, she longed for him to reach out and touch her, was willing him to do it.

"Yes Rose I'm still here, yes it's lovely, a barbecue sounds good. Listen can I call you later and let you know if I can make it. No it's not that I don't want to, I'm feeling a little run down today, too much decorating, I'll call you, I promise before 5:00. Okay, have a good day. Bye dear."

She replaced the receiver but remained standing where she was, not daring to turn for fear of being face to face with him so very close.

"Your sister?" he said gently.

"I hate lying to her." She replied.

"No need to." He moved his along the counter closer to her.

"There's every need, what would I say?" She stood up straight and he stepped backwards a little giving her the opportunity to move out from the little cove they'd created. "What the hell would she say?"

He sighed deeply, lost for the moment as to how to maintain the conversation. "Soup's burning." He offered lamely.

"You can't burn soup."

"Well it's bubbling quite a lot then."

"Ohh…" Frustrated she lifted the pan from the heat and jumped as her fingers caught the outer rim of the pan.

"Hey, careful." He reached for her scolded hand but she grabbed it back.

"Why the hell are you here, why couldn't you leave me alone?" She demanded. "Why?"

"You know why." He said gently.

"You missed me, what a lousy reason."

"Clarisse, don't talk to me like that."

"I was just getting over you!" She shouted. "I was just…"

"I can't get over you." He raised his voice in return. "Lord knows I've tried, I'm lost without you."

She threw her head back. "You hardly know me, not really, not the real me."

"Then I want to learn every little bit."

"Lost without me…" she shook her head. "You have no right to say such things."

"I didn't mean to upset you."

"But you always do." She was the one shaking now, clutching her hand like a child. "You do." She took a deep breath in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. "I need some air."

"Let me walk with you, please, there's so much to say."

"No, I need a moment alone, to think…"

She walked directly past him and out of the door with no idea where she was heading.

* * *

Two hours later with the sun blazing high in the sky Clarisse finally took the familiar pathway across the field away from the cliff edge towards her house. She'd walked this path many times now, hardly ever meeting another person, it was blissfully quiet and relaxing and reminded her why she'd spent so much money on the property. Wiping her forehead she kicked the loose sand from the bottom of her sandals as she entered the garden. Her skin smelt of the sea, salty and fresh, and her mouth was dry and sore. She crossed the lawn, mentally reminding herself to go and put the sprinklers on later or the grass was going to suffer from this heat.

The back door stood open as she'd left it and as she entered the house she'd almost forgotten why she'd left so abruptly in the first place. The sight of Joseph's bag standing by the table reminded her but she chose to ignore it and went directly to the sink, dropping the bag she'd been carrying for the past 30 minutes into the bowl. Swinging open the fridge she took out a jug of water and poured herself a tall glass full taking a long deep drink of it.

"You were gone a long time."

She took her time in turning to face him. "Yes I know, I had lots to think about." She took another drink. "Tell me are you planning on going somewhere?" She indicated his bag.

He shrugged. "You don't want me here, I'm only causing you more pain, I'll go."

"How long is thisvacation supposed to last?"

"Two weeks, well I had planned on taking two weeks for myself."

She interrupted him. "Then you'll need more clothes I think." She finished the glass of water off. "Now I need to wash my face and put some cream on before my skin dries up completely. Do you know anything about lobster?"

"Err, Lobster?"

"I walked to the harbour and got fresh lobster for dinner, they need washing and preparing…" she smiled at his expression. "You're worse than me, don't worry I'll manage. It would be a help if you could water the garden though."

"I… of course. Clarisse, I'm a little confused."

"Aren't we all, most of the time." She rinsed her glass and stood it to drain. "You want to talk to me, and I suppose, although I hate to admit it, I want to talk to you too. So…" she swung round to face him again. "Let's just see how we get on shall we." She reached into a drawer and then moved towards him holding a bunch of keys. "The little one lets you into the gardening-shed where you'll find the hose, you might want to put the sprinklers on."

"Thanks." He smiled shaking his head.

"Good job you're a keen gardener."

"Roses are my forte." He reached to touch her hand but she moved away quickly avoiding him once again.

"Now I must call my sister and invent some reason as to why I'm going to miss her delicious barbecue."

She bustled out of the kitchen leaving Joseph more than a little unnerved by her sudden change in attitude, yet he was undeniably encouraged by it all the same.

* * *

_**Author's Note:** Not an overly exciting chapter but i hoped you enjoyed it just the same, have to get them plodding along together so-to-speak :-) Please let me know what you think xx Rhonda_


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer:** Own none of the Princess Diaries characters & make no money from these stories, simply having some fun.

* * *

_**Fallen** - part 14_

After spending a good twenty minutes fighting with the hose Joseph finally managed to fix up the sprinkler system and situated it in the centre of the lawn, as he was walking away feeling rather satisfied with himself the damned thing swung over and drenched his back.

Clarisse was giggling when he returned to the kitchen complaining with a wet shirt hanging over his arm.

"Ah, I thought you were still upstairs." He admitted ruefully.

"Don't worry I've see a man's torso before. And I won't tell anybody about the sprinkler system having it in for you."

"In for me?" he queried.

"Never mind, I should leave that shirt outside to dry for a while."

"Yes, I suppose so."

He watched as she washed the lobster, gradually getting closer to her. She had obviously done this before, yet perhaps not in a while as her nails were still manicured to perfection. She turned to reach for a towel and almost walked straight into him.

"Sorry." They said in unison.

"I just need to dry my hands." She reached past him to a drawer and pulled out a towel.

"Can I help?"

"Nothing to help with really, won't take long to cook when you're hungry. I see you ate the soup."

"It was fine. You have this often?"

"Oh not really, except when I was young, father used to insist we knew how to clean and cook them. I assure you I can cook perfectly well most of the time."

"I wouldn't assume anything different."

"Marriage to a Frenchman teaches you a few things." She said the words then instantly regretted them, Joseph probably didn't want to hear such things and she really didn't want to remind herself of Stephen right now.

Yet he smiled at her words. "Isabella insisted on baking a birthday cake for the boys every birthday, despite the fact we had a team of caterers available and she wasn't all that good at it."

"But it's a lovely gesture."

"Yes."

For a few seconds they stood staring at each other in silence. Then Clarisse registered the unease of the moment and stuttered to find something to say.

"Well, erm, when you're hungry let me know and we can eat."

"Whenever you are I don't wish to cause you any problems…." He shook his head. "Any _more_ problems."

"Well I'm trying not to dwell on the craziness of the situation and instead just go with it."

"As always resourceful."

"Yes, I guess so."

"Erm, Clarisse may I impose further and perhaps use your shower."

"Oh but of course. I'm sorry I should have said."

"It's fine."

It was the first time she'd actually dwelt on the fact that Joseph was standing topless in her kitchen, and my did he look good. A little too thin perhaps but his skin was wonderfully bronzed and his muscles were well defined, she wouldn't doubt a man half his age would be proud of a body like his.

"I'll erm, get you a towel and show you where everything is."

He nodded and followed her upstairs.

"You can use the bathroom in my room seeing as you're staying in there."

"Really Clarisse I feel terrible about stealing your bedroom, allow me to move into one of the spare rooms."

"Weren't you comfortable?" She asked as she reached up into the high cupboard and took down two large bath towels.

"Exceptionally comfortable… I told you it was the best nights sleep I've had in months."

"Oh?"

"Yes, everything smelt of you." He blurted the words out unthinking but once he'd said them he had no wish to take them back. Sensing her unease he took the towels from her hands. "I'll move into the spare room."

She didn't respond, only nodded and watched as he headed for the bathroom.

* * *

Refreshed and feeling better than he had in weeks Joseph made his way down stairs. The heat was beginning to lessen and Clarisse had turned fans on throughout the house to cool it down.

"Now can I help?" He said as he entered the kitchen.

"No, everything's ready."

"Really, not even wine to pour?"

She held up her glass smiling. "I already started. Go sit down."

"Here?"

"No, I thought we'd eat in the dining room, you can take the salad through." She said handing him a large bowl.

"Well, glad to be of assistance." He replied with a flourish.

They ate in virtual silence, Clarisse thought ahead and put the radio on in the background to fill the space. It helped as neither seemed capable of finding a topic they could safely discuss. Joseph had questions, Clarisse wanted answers, and neither was able to locate a voice for their emotions.

"Dinner was lovely." Joseph finally said laying his fork down.

Clarisse dipped her head in a mock bow. "Thank you. Not always so incapable you see."

"I never doubted it."

She sighed and swirled the wine in her glass staring down at it.

"Would you like some more wine?" He asked, his hands folded beneath his chin, elbows resting on the table.

"I think you'll find we've emptied that bottle."

"Ah."

"And to drink more might be a mistake."

"How so?"

"I'm not sure getting drunk together is a good idea," she glanced at the clock. "You've been here over twenty-four hours."

"Yes, with little explanation to my motives right. You're weighing up just what I'm here for?"

"Partly, I'm not at all sure what you thought visiting me here could achieve."

He couldn't deny the rawness of her words hurt and she witnessed him visibly flinch.

"I'm not sure I had a plan. I needed to see you."

"You said that, what I don't understand is why – why now, why not let it rest?"

His head dropped forward and he closed his eyes momentarily searching for the right words to answer her.

She took the sign as negative and stood up abruptly and reached for his now empty plate.

"I'll make some coffee and we can go sit in the lounge, perhaps then you'll have an answer."

"Let me at least do the dishes."

"Do you get on any better with dishwashers than you do with sprinkler systems?"

"Very funny Madam."

His eyes met hers and it was the first time he had witnessed them sparkle since he got there, perhaps there was hope after all.

"Come, you can make the coffee."

He remained seated at the table for a few minutes after she'd gone, still mulling over the look he'd seen in her face just a moment ago. Could he dare to hope that somehow things might still work, that they still had a chance?

"I thought you were making the coffee." She called from the kitchen.

He smiled and quickly got up.

"You have a lovely home."

"Nothing compared to yours." She quipped continuing to fill the dishwasher.

He didn't respond to the jibe and instead moved to the coffee pot.

"I'm assuming you've done all this decoration."

"Yes, it was just superficial though. Exterior things."

"Still, it's only July, you must have worked hard."

"Almost August, and I had help."

"Your sister?"

"Yes, and her husband."

"Martin?"

"Your memory never fails to amaze me." She reached over his head to a cupboard. "I have mints to go with the coffee."

He smiled. "Tell me about your sister."

"Rose, goodness where to begin. She's older and wiser than me, a loving wife, a Grandmother… lucky."

"How so?"

"Because she found that her second boyfriend was the love of her life and she's been with him ever since, perfectly happy, wonderfully happy. She claims to be jealous of what she terms my 'wild travelling lifestyle' yet it's I who is jealous of her… well, the stability she has. That love and family to fall back on."

"Don't you have that same family to fall back on?"

"Well yes, but it's not the same. Not the same as having my own grandchildren." She shrugged. "But then after spending the day with them all I'm totally exhausted and more than ready to go home alone so it works both ways I guess."

She noticed he was leaning back on the counter staring at her.

"Is that coffee ready?"

He mentally shook himself; she was obviously uncomfortable with him paying her so much attention. "Oh, erm yes I think so."

"Good, pour away then."

* * *

They sat in the lounge, Clarisse in the large chair nearest the window with her legs tucked up beneath her. Joseph on the couch at the opposite side of the room, he couldn't help but hate the fact she'd sat so far away and thought of it put him automatically on edge.

They'd made polite chitchat for long enough now and as the last rays of sunshine disappeared over the hill he decided to broach the topic that was uppermost in her mind.

"Clarisse."

"Hmm?" She was gazing out of the window.

"I told you I came here because I missed you."

She looked back to him sharply. "Yes." Her voice was surprisingly uncertain.

"Missed you is hardly the right term. I was painfully stubborn when you left, adamant that I wouldn't allow you to hurt me, that I could forget about you. I was wrong."

She said nothing but turned slightly in her chair to watch him as he spoke.

"I've never been a weak man Clarisse, I wasn't raised that way."

"I know." She said gently.

"But losing you, having you walk away from me, it… well it broke me. I'm not too proud to admit it, you broke me. Coupled with the arguments I was having with Philippe and I just…" he spread his hands out helplessly. "I'm not sure of the term, but I believe I came as close to a breakdown as I'm ever likely to."

"What happened to you?"

"I didn't want to go anywhere, do anything – basically I lost interest in everything and everybody. Hence the fact those ridiculous reports said I was heading for the grave. Honestly." He shook his head. "I missed a few meetings, cancelled some engagements, for the first time in my life I put myself first."

"And you're criticised for it."

"Criticised and analysed. Lost weight, couldn't sleep, and you… god you were on my mind every second of the day."

She stiffened in her chair.

"I know, I know this is uncomfortable for you to hear, I understand that. You wanted to know, I can't lie to you. Missed you doesn't even come close, never felt like this before, something vaguely similar but nothing like…knowing you were alive somewhere in the world and thinking badly of me."

"I never thought badly of you."

He settled back on the couch for the first time that evening yet his gaze was still intensely penetrating, she had to look away.

"Won't you say something? Surely you must have something to say to me?"

"What would you like me to say?" her voice was little above a whisper. "What can I possibly say?"

She stood up and moved to the window, folding her arms and gazing out into the darkness, trying to make out shapes and shadows.

"I'm not sure what you want to hear from me. Fair enough Joseph you've just told me your deepest feelings, admitted you fell apart. What am I supposed to do with that," she turned to face him, leaning back on the windowsill, arms still folded. "Am I supposed to jump up and say that somehow I can save you."

Now he stood up, dug his hands in his pocket. "God no, I'm not that childish, I'm trying to make you understand."

"I do understand."

He stopped pacing and stared directly at her incredulously.

"I do Joseph. I know how you suffer, I witnessed it myself. I also witnessed how you can change in an instant. You turn into this overbearing man who wants what he wants and god help anyone who gets in his way."

He fell back onto the couch defeated. "So I truly am a horrible person."

"No…" she moved to kneel in front of him. "No you aren't, not for one second. You forget that I also got to spend time with a wonderfully warm man, a man who would do anything for his children, who only wants the best for them. A man who likes to sit in the dark and listen to opera. The best dancer I've ever known. One of the most romantic men I've ever met."

Her voice dropped off and it took her a few seconds to regain her control.

"I'm sorry my leaving hurt you so much, honestly I am. Between us we made a real mess of things, and we could have handled it better, we should have. But… for the gift of foresight…" she sighed.

"Neither of us had ever been in that situation before, we did the best we could. All we can do now is move forward, regretting it will only make it worse; it will become some negative chapter in our lives instead of this wonderfully happy moment. That's why you coming here is wrong, because I'm just starting to move forward, I want to be able to look back and say how wonderful it was that we met and had a few blissful months together. I don't want to sit here dragging through it all, analysing every section of what went on between us. You need to let go, if you want me to somehow save you then that's my advice, let go."

He opened his mouth forcing air from his lungs, forcing himself not to shrink away from this moment but instead fight for it. "I tell my heart… it doesn't listen."

"Oh Joseph…" She rose to her full height and moved away from him.

"Clarisse I can't let go, I don't want to. We could just try."

"We can't."

"But we could, now we know the pitfalls."

"No."

"We can work through it, I want to, I want you."

"No!" She slammed her fist into the back of the chair. "No, you have no claims upon me, none. And I won't allow…"

"Won't allow yourself to feel…"

"No! Damn you, I'm not going to fold because you have more power than me, because you're superior. I'm saying no, I'm trying to be your friend. You have to settle for that or get the hell out of my house."

"I want you."

"Stop saying that. Why do you have to make this so difficult?"

He stood up and crossed the room to her. "Because I think you want me too."

The breath caught in her throat. "I…"

"All those wonderful memories Clarisse, dancing with you, holding you, that wasn't some fluke, some chemical reaction. I love you; I am in love with you. You're the only woman I've ever loved."

She shook her head. "You hurt me too much, there is no way back for us, no us."

"We can try." he reached for her hand but she snatched it away.

"I'm tired, I have to go to bed, I can't think with you here crowding me." She pushed past him exiting the lounge and running up the stairs, Joseph listened for the sound of her bedroom door slamming shut but it never came.

After spending almost fifteen minutes pacing the lounge Joseph decided he could either raid Clarisse's drink cabinet and drown his sorrows or go to bed and rethink his approach. He wasn't about to give up on her just yet.

He closed the drapes in the lounge, moved to the dining room and did the same there then went into the kitchen. He emptied the dishwasher and opened each cupboard slowly putting away all the dishes and cutlery. Then he rinsed out the coffee pot and left it to drain. Doing these tasks somehow made it easier to overlook the fact she had blatantly told him he stood no chance, he had been rejected, rejection…

Outside the night air was still warm but a light breeze had picked up and Joseph decided to have a wander around the garden in an attempt to clear his mind before bed. It was difficult to believe, he mused as he trampled over the grass, that he was here in Clarisse's garden. Here staying in her house. That he had just spilled his guts out to her; he'd never once shown a chink in the armour, never once revealed to anyone that he felt anything. On those times he had rarely shown emotion it was when he was at the bitter end, when Isabella was on her deathbed and he'd sobbed over her. Or when Philippe had told him of the baby, so angry he'd raved at the young man for hours.

This was different; this felt like his everything he'd ever done in his life had culminated in this moment. He had to throw aside this stuffy guarded man, he had to open his soul to her and make her see that when he said the words 'I love you' he said it with every ounce of his being. That deep down he wasn't some selfish self-obsessed royal, he had so much to give her, so much of himself he wanted to share with her.

All those years had passed by and he'd fallen into some routine, waiting for death to creep up to him. Meeting her had somehow changed everything, given him hope, she made him feel young again. That knot that formed in his throat when he was near her, wanting to say a million things to impress her yet unable to form a decent sentence. The way his heart seemed to fall into his stomach, that he could hardly breathe when she was near him, that whenever she touched him it seemed music was playing in his head drowning every past memory out.

Despite all his shortcomings Joseph Renaldi had never once given up on something he wanted so passionately, and he wasn't about to let her slip away again. Wasn't about to let what existed between them simply vanish into history. Time that had always seemed so all encompassing, time that appeared to drag forever, it no longer seemed long enough. Another day with her, another week, month, year… could it really be enough? Forever now seemed so very small; he intended to treasure every moment of the life he had left with her.

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed it - now we're starting to get somewhere... please leave me a review, thanks! x R_


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer:** Don't own any of The Princess Diaries characters & make no money whatsoever from this - simply having a little fun.

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****

**Fallen** - _part 15_  


Feeling somewhat jubilant after his confession of the previous night Joseph couldn't stop smiling. He had no real reason for being so happy, she had made it clear last night that it was friendship and nothing more, but somehow… well he wasn't about to accept that laying down. He swirled the coffee in his mug and continued staring out at the garden.

"Hi." She said wearily running a hand through her hair and entering the kitchen.

"Well, hello." He smiled turning from where he stood at the kitchen window. "Beautiful morning."

"What are you smiling about? You look very happy, I'm assuming you slept well." Her voice was empty, unfeeling.

"Very well actually."

She poured herself a glass of orange juice. "You certainly look better." She took a long drink and wearily moved to sit down at the table. "I unfortunately did not sleep so well."

"Oh…" he sat across from her. "Why?"

"Why?" she shook her head. "You know why, I was replaying what you'd said all night."

"Please don't." He said gently reaching for her hand.

She snatched it back out of his reach. "I need some space Joseph. You may stay, we spend time together, but please, there must be boundaries, you're here as a friend. Nothing more."

"All right." He said softly. "All right, I accept that."

They were silent for a few moments, each staring at the table mulling over what they could say next.

"Plans for today?" He said standing up and moving to pour himself more coffee, it was getting harder to be around her.

"Actually I have plans."

"Oh?" He failed to hide his disappointment.

"Yes, appointments to keep, things to do, life just doesn't simply stop because you decide to visit Joseph."

"I realise that."

Draining her juice Clarisse stood up. "I have to go into town, I'll be gone a few hours at the most. If anybody should telephone or call around then I suggest you don't answer."

"Obviously." He shrugged.

"Feel free to take a book, watch television or something."

"I wish I could come with you." He said softly. "See where you go, who you meet, be part of your life."

Shakily she crossed to the sink and rinsed her glass. "What's the old saying, 'be careful what you wish for'." She smiled. "You'd get bored Joseph, I have dull errands to run and bills to pay, nothing remotely exciting."

"But I never do that, call into town to do essential things… never have." He shrugged. "I'll occupy myself somehow."

"I'm sure, I must go dress."

"Have a good day."

"And you."

* * *

As Clarisse drove into town she felt awash with swirl of differing emotions. He made her so damned angry, what right did he have to simply drop in on her, to expect her to turn her life upside down to accommodate him? To fill her head with his feelings, his wants and desires, his selfish needs. To expect her to drop everything and fall for him like some dizzy young romantic.

On the other hand she could not, try as she might, rid herself of the strange happiness that was creeping into her skin at the thought that he was at home waiting for her. That she was doing her normal everyday routine but when she returned home he would be there, they would be together, spending the evening together, eating, talking… wasn't it what she had wanted so badly?

She considered calling Rose and seeking advice but decided against it. Things would only become worse if more people were involved, if she kept it between the two of them it would remain contained, controllable. She could allow him to stay a few days, until he was well again, and then she would politely and simply ask him to leave her alone from now on. It wasn't fair to expect more of her, he had no right to.

* * *

Joseph spent the day flicking through Clarisse's various books. Try as he might he couldn't settle on one, couldn't concentrate on any of them. He called Richard, simply to check in and assure them he was safe and well. He gave no indication of what was happening with Clarisse. He and Richard had reached a comfortable truce over the issue, Joseph was too old to change his attitude now, he went after what he believed in, and try as he might he couldn't accept that he and Clarisse were finished. There was more there, much more to come.

He was lounging on the couch reading the local newspaper when he heard the door click open and her heels on the tiled kitchen floor.

"Joseph?" She called.

"Yes." He smiled, they had already settled into a routine, so naturally.

"Have you eaten?"

"Not yet." He replied swinging his feet to the floor. "Errands complete?"

She slipped her shoes off and made her way into the lounge.

"Yes, pretty much. You look well rested."

He raised his eyebrows. "Tired of being inside, I enjoy the outdoors."

"I know, how are you coping without your morning ride?"

He shook his head dropping the paper to the coffee table. "Actually I haven't taken the horses out in a while."

"Why ever not?" She asked lifting the discarded newspaper and folding it neatly before replacing it on the coffee table.

"I don't know, didn't have the energy for it. Did you know Gerald Thompson won first prize in the flower arranging competition last Tuesday?"

"No, who is Gerald Thompson?"

"I have no idea, obviously somebody from your village as he was featured in the village newspaper."

"I hardly read that thing, it's always full of pointless little stories."

"Nice to have it though, a sense of community that seems to be slowly disappearing from our world. It's reassuring to know there are still some places that exist with the old sense of neighbourhood."

"I suppose so. I got scones, jam and cream, a rather unhealthy lunch?"

"It's almost 3 o'clock."

"I know, an early afternoon treat then. You can't visit the south of England and not have Clotted cream with scones."

"I guess so." He smiled contended as he rose and followed her into the kitchen.

"You can make the tea." She said as she took plates from the cupboard.

"All right." He knew his way around the kitchen now and quickly filled the kettle and located the teapot.

Clarisse carried a tray out into the garden and Joseph watched through the window as she laid the tea things out on the table and adjusted the umbrella to shade them from the afternoon sunshine.

Within a few moments he followed her out.

"This seems like the kind of decadence one should enjoy each and everyday." He said as he poured the tea.

"We'd get fat." She smiled as she spooned the cream onto his scone. "It can't be any good for your heart."

He raised his eyes to her face as she continued to spread the cream and, once finished, licked the excess from the tip of her finger. If only she knew what she was doing to his heart.

"There." She smiled sitting back in her chair. "Enjoy, before it melts."

"Thank you my dear. Quite a treat, being here with you, sharing an unhealthy cream tea."

"I'm sorry for being a little off hand this morning." She offered as she added a little milk to her tea. "I convinced myself I could easily rebuff whatever you said to me, that I could freeze you out. It's not that easy when you're actually here."

"I don't mean to make things difficult for you again, to make you feel uneasy. I'm so poor at handling this, I value your friendship Clarisse, whatever happens, I would like that to at least continue."

"As would I." She wiped her hand on her napkin and held it out across the table towards him. "Friends."

He smiled genuinely and clasped her hand; it was the first time she'd allowed him to touch her since he'd arrived. "Friends."

* * *

It was Clarisse who suggested they take a walk the following day, it was Tuesday after all and Joseph hadn't left the house or garden since he'd arrived four days ago.

In addition to this yesterday had hardly proven a success in terms of building up and smoothing over their relationship. In fact Clarisse had actually been rather afraid to be alone with him, afraid of what he might say or, even worse, how she might react to what he said.

After breakfast they had separately dressed and Joseph had done the dishes and tidied the kitchen. Meanwhile Clarisse had made sandwiches and packed a light lunch for later in the day.

"Are you all set?" She asked as she opened the fridge and took out two bottles of water.

"I am. Where are we going exactly?"

"I don't know, a walk over the meadows, we can head down to the beach later in the afternoon, it should be quieter then."

"I get to see your beloved home."

"You do, well some of it at least." She snapped her bag shut and turned back to him. "Thank you for doing the dishes by the way, I never realised you were such the handyman."

"I'm not, I am staying in your house though, I feel rather like I'm intruding."

"You have no need to. If I didn't want you here I would no doubt say so."

"That you would. I've never known you to hold back your thoughts."

"Ahh, so you do know me, come on then… if you're ready."

"Lead the way."

* * *

Clarisse laid back on the sand, one arm folded beneath her head, legs bent and toes digging into the warm grains she lay on. Joseph glanced at the ground before deciding to sit down next to her.

"Take your shoes off." She said, a hint of laughter in her voice.

"I'm not entirely sure it's hygienic…"

"Joseph." She snapped.

"All right. All right." He said obliging and slipping his shoes and socks off.

She laughed outwardly now. "Hinting that my beach isn't clean."

Her eyes were closed and he couldn't help but stare down at her face upturned to the glorious sunshine, a smile on her lips. He longed to tilt his head down and kiss that perfect mouth.

"Perhaps they should ban other members of the public from trampling across it with their noisy children and boisterous dogs?"

"Don't be mean you old grump…" she opened her eyes gazing up at him. "I like boisterous dogs."

"You do?"

She nodded.

He looked down the beach towards the quickly receding shore. "You should get one, company for the house."

"You think I'm lonely?"

He hesitated and turned back to answer her but he found she was smiling at him again. "Very funny madam."

"Oh but you're so easy to wind up, relax a little Joseph, this is supposed to be a holiday for you."

"Yes I guess so, I keep thinking somebody is going to recognise me and we will be hounded."

"That's why you wear the dark glasses… all celebrities do it."

"Oh I'm hardly… now you're teasing me again."

She giggled and playfully tapped his arm. "Yes I am, But Joseph really, I don't mean to be disrespectful or anything but I think it's highly unlikely anyone on this beach knows where Genovia is let alone what it's King looks like."

He smiled; her hand was still resting on his arm where she'd hit him so lightly. "So what you're saying is your country is more well-known than mine."

She sat up slowly, leaning on his for leverage. "Yes, I think I am."

"Why?"

"Because it's mine." She shrugged.

He laughed. "Well I can't argue with that."

Joseph watched as she sat forward, her arms draped over her knees, her neck was getting red.

"You're getting sunburnt."

"Oh I always do, I'm so pale… but it is incredibly hot today."

"It is."

"Where has it caught me?"

"Your neck." He tentatively reached forward and touched the overly pink skin. "Does it feel sore?"

"Not yet, I'm sure it will later." She was rummaging in her bag for something and in a second had slipped a light scarf over her shoulders and put her sunglasses on.

"Now I look like a celebrity too." She quipped.

"Indeed. A better looking one than me."

"Oh I don't know about that." She lay back again. "Do you mind if I read here for a while or are you getting bored?"

"No I'm not getting bored and I don't mind at all if you read. How many books do you have in that magic bag?"

"Just the one I'm afraid."

"Then I might have a wander down to the shore."

"Okay." She glanced down the beach. "It's quite a way out now."

"I know, give you time to enjoy the weather and your book."

As he went to stand he had the overwhelming urge to kiss her before venturing down the beach, somehow he held himself back.

"I should roll your trousers up." She called after him as he walked away.

He couldn't help the grin that spread across his face as he looked back towards her. This felt entirely natural.

Over an hour later Joseph made his way back up the beach towards Clarisse, it seemed to take him longer to reach her and he realised he had walked down to the sea in a diagonal line and was now walking back in a straight one. Therefore when he did reach where she should have been he found he had another ten minutes walk to go.

He approached her from the left and she raised her head immediately glancing sideways to him.

"Ahh, I thought you'd drowned."

"You didn't come to save me."

"Figured I'd give you another half-an-hour then get the lifeguard."

He bent down next to her. "Ohh, damn knees."

"That's age." She smiled slipping her glasses off. "Have fun did you?"

"Very much so. Look, brought you these." He dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out a selection of shells.

"Why thank you, how very rare."

"They are all original. Besides you won't accept diamonds from me."

She could have responded coolly to his words but instead she held out her hand and gratefully accepted his 'gift'. "I shall cherish them."

He sat down and waited as she marked the page in her book and slipped it back into her bag along with the shells.

"So are you getting hungry?" She asked. "We can start to walk back."

"All right, what time will the sun set?"

"Not for a few hours, did you want to see it?"

He shrugged as she struggled to sit up. She placed a hand on his knee, "I promise we will walk down here one evening so that you can witness the beauty of a south England sunset."

"How very charitable of you my dear."

"Are my freckles out in force?" She asked leaning back on her hands.

"Should they be?" He smiled amused at her absurd question.

"The sun brings my freckles out. That's why I tend to keep out of it."

"You still look beautiful."

She glanced away unable to hold his steady gaze. "Thank you, but I feel you might be biased."

"I feel I might be too, but I stand by it."

She shook her head. "Are you flirting with me?"

"Would you mind?"

"Yes, friends aren't supposed to flirt."

"Then no, I'm merely passing judgement on your pretty freckles."

She laughed. "Ahh, you'll drive me crazy. Come on let's go." She sat forward again. "Ohh, who is going to help who up?"

"If you push me up perhaps then I can help you."

"Oh what a sight" she giggled hoisting herself up to her feet. She brushed her skirt down and replaced her sunglasses on her head. "Are you set?"

"After you."

"I'm not looking forward to that hill near the house, always easier on the way down."

"Maybe you should get the local developers to lower it for you or something."

"Ha very funny… do you think they would, if I asked really nicely?"

"Worth a shot."

The serious tone in his voice caused her to breakdown in yet more giggles and she stumbled a little on the uneven ground.

He caught her from behind, holding her waist.

"All right?"

"Yes." She said formerly straightening herself up, "fine."

She climbed up from the beach a little too quickly and he couldn't help but grimace as she did so, obviously there were some places that a friend just shouldn't touch. Shrugging he hurried to catch up with her, he would offer to cook tonight.

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_Well how do you think our unlikely couple are getting on?  
__Please leave me a little review & let me know... x R_


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer:** Princess Diaries 1 & 2 are owned by people much richer than me - the usual applies...

**Author's Note:** A rainy day and CJ get a little closer

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**Fallen**

_part 16_

It rained on Wednesday, heavy thundering rain that at times tore across the sky and pummelled the earth, then rested into a dull thudding downpour. Unrelenting and wonderfully atmospheric.

Still Clarisse couldn't help but loathe the fact that her delicate gladiolas were being savaged and she spent a great deal of time staring out of the window at the flowers, hoping they might survive nature's ravishing.

"Another game?" Joseph asked moving up behind her.

"Hmm, why not? You will continue to win though; I seem unable to penetrate your barriers. More tea?"

"But of course."

Clarisse refilled the teapot and carried it to the kitchen table where the chessboard was set out, as it had been for the majority of the day.

"I've never been very good at this you know, seems too mathematical."

"You do well." He said lining up the pieces again.

"I do well up to a certain point, I can take your pieces, defend my own for the most part but never quite finish it off and win."

"That comes with practice, the more you play, the better you will get at backing me into a corner."

"Perhaps." She poured the tea and took a sip before lifting a pawn and moving it forward.

"Control the board." He said gently moving his own piece.

"I know." She contemplated her next move, hands folded propping her chin up. "Sorry about the weather, no walks today. It always seems to happen this way in England, three days of sunshine followed by a day of rain, we like to keep it even."

"Hardly your fault. Besides I've rather enjoyed playing Chess with you."

"Only because you win." She lifted her Knight.

"Ahh but you won at Scrabble, twice."

"What can I say…" she smiled endearingly. "I'm a walking dictionary."

Joseph made another move and left Clarisse to mull over her next one. He watched her closely, not overtly staring but every now and then glancing up at her face. He had been there a few days now and things seemed to be easing out, he sensed that comfortable rapport they shared becoming apparent again, he even dared to hope that she still cared for him.

He couldn't help but find his mind wandering back over the wonderful times they'd shared, the evenings they'd danced in his suite or walked through the grounds. Each and every time he did though he couldn't help but wonder how, if ever, they could get that back and if they did how would it exist? Just what would she be to him or he to her? How could they function in any kind of relationship when they were both geographically and socially so far apart?

"Are you still angry with me?" he whispered.

She didn't look up from the board but continued to stare at the squares in an attempt to figure out which direction he might take the game. He considered asking again when she didn't reply but realised she had heard and was simply thinking on her reply.

"I understand your reasons a little better…" she finally said not looking at him. "I understand you did it for your country and your son's well being… I might not agree, but I understand."

"But are you still angry with me?" he swallowed. "Over the way I treated Richard, the way I handled things with you… badly."

"Not angry no, I was at the time, hurt and upset… but mostly disappointed, with you and myself." She lifted another pawn and moved it into play. "Angry at myself I suppose more than anything, for foolishly believing that you and I could have some kind of relationship. I should never have allowed myself to get close to you in that situation. Should never have allowed it to go so far."

"But how could we have played things out differently? You avoided me for so long." He quickly interjected.

"But I should have left, when I realised that you were attracted to me… more than attracted to me, after your confession in the kitchen that night I should have left."

"Why didn't you?" he asked softly, his attention no longer on the game.

"I didn't want to." She shrugged finally lifting her face up to look at him. "The truth is I enjoyed having your attention, in some selfish vain way." She sighed leaning back in her chair. "I never admitted that to myself, couldn't see it until I was away from the palace, away from you. I admitted it to Rose, I wanted you to want me, it made me… you made me feel like I really existed, that I mattered."

"You do." He realised his voice sounded odd, that his head was getting heavy. "You fulfil me Clarisse." He slid his hand across the table to reach hers. To his surprise she didn't pull away.

"Why are we doing this?" Her voice was barely audible as their fingers folded together. "We've been over this again and again, there is no future, nothing to be done. If you'd never come here I would have moved on with my life, I would have pushed what happened between us back into my mind, another failed relationship."

"I've always believed everything happens for a reason. If I'd never come here then we would also never have had closure, I would have always wondered just how much you hated me."

"I don't."

"But I thought you did, I would have gone on believing you did. If you'd never come to the palace, if I'd never met you then I would never have known this pain at being away from you, the injustice of not being able to be with you. But I would also have never known what it is to really love somebody, really love."

"Joseph…" she sighed pulling her hand from his.

His head dropped forward as she stood up, one hand leaning on the back of the chair for support, her other running through her hair.

"I'm sorry." He finally said. "I didn't mean to make you feel awkward."

"I know." She opened the back door for a second and took a deep breath of the cool rain-filled air. "It's your move."

Joseph shook his head and glanced down at the board blindly lifting his knight and moving it. Clarisse moved back to the table and leant down simply lifting a pawn and taking his knight. He groaned and looked up at her smiling face.

"Unfair, my concentration is shattered."

She shrugged. "It's a cut-throat game."

He was about to reply when they both froze and looked at each other.

Clarisse was the first to move darting to the still open door. A car had just pulled into the driveway behind Clarisse's. Luckily she had moved Joe's car into the garage days ago.

"It's Rose." She said turning to him.

"Well, I suppose now is as good a time as any to meet her."

"But she doesn't even know you're here." Clarisse said folding her arms around her stomach. "I should have told her."

Joseph stood up. "I'll go upstairs until she's gone."

"No, no. Stay." She glanced back down the driveway as the car door opened and Rose stepped out opening an umbrella. "Just give me a moment to explain."

He smiled nodding his head in understanding. "I'll go freshen up." He quipped.

Gratefully she watched as he retreated from the kitchen.

She felt almost flushed as she waited for her sister to appear in the doorway, wet and flustered at the weather, the humidity no doubt bothering her.

She held onto the door and waited for Rose to join her.

"Goodness Clarisse just when I think summer has arrived." She bustled into the kitchen dropping her umbrella into the sink and removing her coat as she approached her sister and kissed her cheek. "How are you dear, and where have you been hiding these past few days?"

She halted as she hung her coat up and noted the chessboard lay out on the table, obviously mid-way through a game.

"Do tell me you aren't playing yourself."

"No." Clarisse moved to sit down and Rose sat across from her expectantly.

Taking a deep breath and folding her hands together Clarisse watched as Rose cupped the half empty mug of tea in front of her and noted it was still warm.

"Joseph." Clarisse whispered his name.

"What? Here? Now?"

Clarisse couldn't help but smile at her sister's outburst. "Yes, here, now. He arrived Saturday night, unexpectedly." Clarisse let out a deep breath. "I never expected to see him again Rose, let alone on my door step."

"Good lord, me neither. Well…" Rose sat back in her chair. "Bloody hell."

Clarisse laughed again. "What a wonderful way you have of bringing things into reality."

"Where is he?" Rose whispered leaning across the table.

"Giving us a few moments."

"And how are things going, what the hell has happened, what have you done?"

Clarisse shook her head at her sisters jabbering. "Nothing, nothing like you think anyhow. We've talked, trying to sort things out, been for walks."

"That's all?"

"Yes that's all, absolutely that's all." Clarisse glared. "Just, just be fair, nice."

"I'm always nice. What do you think I'm going to say to him?"

"What are you going to say to me?" Joseph said from the door in a perfect soft accent.

Both women turned to look at him. He was smiling lightly, his eyes shining, Clarisse had to admit she felt rather proud as he stood there looking terribly handsome.

He stepped forward and held his hand out.

"Hello Rose, it's a pleasure to meet you… finally."

She tentatively took his hand. "And you err…"

"Just call me Joseph."

Clarisse blushed and quickly stood collecting the tea things from the table. It hadn't occurred to her until now just how completely ridiculous it was to have a monarch standing in her kitchen, shaking hands with her sister, drinking tea from her mother's old china cups.

"Erm, should we move into the lounge, it might be more comfortable." Clarisse said quickly pouring the cooling tea into the sink.

"It's fine here, we've been fine here all day." Joseph smiled endearingly at her as he sat down in her recently vacated seat across from Rose.

Goodness he was so charming, Clarisse thought, he had so much practice at winning people over, so many situations where he had needed to be, he did it without effort now.

"More tea then?" She smiled in return.

"Yes for me too." Rose spoke up almost grinning at her sister before turning her attention to Joseph. "So then, how are you finding England?"

"Beautiful." He said sincerely. "Very beautiful, even the rain, and of course I have a wonderful host."

"Of course. You look well, better."

"Ahh, you saw the reports as well."

"Yes, yes I did. Were you ill?"

Joseph laughed and leant across the table conspiringly. "Only a little, though it was self-induced. I was purely to blame."

"Oh?"

He shrugged. "The fault was mine."

Clarisse quickly placed a tray in front of him and glared at him momentarily.

"I'll pour." He said to cover her embarrassment.

"Thank you. And cakes too dear," Rose winked at her sister. "We have important company."

Clarisse moved to sit next to Joseph, mentally thinking of some line of conversation she could introduce that would be safe.

Joseph beat her to it.

"So, Rose. Clarisse tells me you're a grandmother."

"Yes, only once so far though, thank goodness, she's a handful."

"Joyful I bet."

"Absolutely. Do you have grandchildren?"

For a second Joe almost faltered but he regained his composure so quickly only Clarisse was aware of the slight change. "Not yet." He said honestly before taking a sip of his tea.

"Clarisse is wonderful with her though, especially the finger painting."

"I can imagine that, her creative side finally allowed to blossom."

"Very funny." Clarisse turned in her seat so she was positioned sideways and could see both Rose and Joseph and still glance out of the window when she needed the escape.

"I'm sorry dear, you're far too easy to wind up." Rose giggled.

"Yes, yes, I know."

"Okay we'll change the subject." Rose smiled. "So, I'm sitting here with royalty, tell me of somebody famous you've met."

"Famous?" Joseph laughed. "Such as?"

Rose was blabbering on listing celebrities, Clarisse actually felt rather uncomfortable, to her disdain she wished they were alone again, in fact she longed to be alone with him again.

Joseph must have sensed her unease and to her surprise reached across and squeezed her hand where it lay on the table. Rose noticed but said nothing. As quickly as he'd touched her he let go again and returned his attention to Rose.

"Well, I've never met Madonna I'm afraid. But yes I have shared many a dinner with Bill."

"You mean Clinton?"

"Yes, him. Although I must say President Chirac has better chefs."

Rose laughed again. "Oh but of course they are French. How's the Italian food at the embassy?"

"Good, good, the wine is divine. Actually I have a standing order, I'll send you some to try."

They laughed together and Clarisse shuffled in her chair, she wasn't sure what it was she didn't like about the fact her sister was getting on so well with Joseph but it bothered her.

"Well," Rose said finishing her tea. "The reason I came to see you Clarisse, it's Mark's birthday next week as you know and we've decided last minute to have a little dinner tomorrow night. Family thing."

"Oh" Clarisse glanced towards Joseph.

"You're perfectly welcome to attend of course." Rose nodded towards him. "But of course you don't have to, awkward I suppose."

"It's fine, I wouldn't wish you to miss it Clarisse, I'll be fine here, go."

Clarisse bit down on her bottom lip, she didn't like the idea of abandoning him whilst she went out for the evening.

"You are welcome Joseph, honestly." Rose added again.

"I don't wish to ruin the night, be the topic of conversation."

"Nor me." Clarisse said abruptly standing up and moving across the room.

"Why would you be?" Rose stood and went to stand next to her. "We don't have to announce anything."

"They will know who he is. They surely must."

"Perhaps, but if we say nothing then neither will anybody else, he's just your guest, we let it stand as that and nothing more."

"I don't want to intrude Rose." Joseph said honestly. "But I would enjoy spending time with you all. If you don't want to Clarisse I understand…"

Clarisse shrugged. "If that's what you both want then fine, come along, meet them all."

"You're uncomfortable with it." Joseph stated. "I won't come." He stood up. "You should go though, no need to miss it because I'm invading your life."

"Joseph…" she grumbled as he left the room. "Damn it." Clarisse cursed under her breath.

Rose coughed and leant next to her sister against the work surface. "Things going well then."

"There's nothing to go well because we aren't going anywhere. He's here, we talk, we smooth things over, he leaves. Over and done with. What's the point in having him meet the family?"

"None at all I guess, but he wants to, and I think you would like him with you too."

Clarisse said nothing but continued staring at her feet. Finally Rose collected her umbrella from the sink and moved to get her coat.

"Oh I'm sorry Rose, I feel like a teenager getting advice from Mother."

"Mother gave poor advice and you know it."

Rose slipped her coat on. "8:00 tomorrow night, bring wine." She stepped forward and kissed Clarisse's cheek. "And bring him, he seems lovely, and quite plainly infatuated with you my sweet. That is good, honest advice."

"It's a ridiculous fantasy."

"That it may be, but enjoy it for a few days huh, just see what happens."

Clarisse nodded grudgingly and waved Rose to her car. Alone again she felt the silence of the room close in around her, it was still raining though and she concentrated on the sound of it rather than focus on what had just transpired.

Guilt beginning to tighten in her chest she made her way into the lounge, it was empty, as was the dining room and office. Climbing the stairs she found the door of the spare bedroom slightly ajar. She pushed it further; Joseph lay on the bed staring at the ceiling.

"Sorry," he said motionless. "I should have stayed away, not met her, I didn't mean to push you into this, especially when I know it's not what you want."

She said nothing, only moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

"You look tired."

He shrugged and she rested her hand on his forehead.

"You feel hot too, can I get you anything?"

"No, I'm fine, didn't sleep well last night."

"You're sure that's all?"

"Yes I'm sure. Rose is wonderful, very bubbly."

"She is, though I'd say loud."

"No, full of life, fun." He sighed and closed his eyes. "You're right, this is ridiculous, I should never have come here. I'm not sure what I thought would happen."

"I'm glad you came, we needed to talk." She stood up and moved to straighten the curtains. "I'm going to take bath before dinner, sleep for a while, I'll wake you later."

He settled back into the pillows and closed his eyes.

"And pick a shirt for tomorrow night, Rose will expect you to dress for dinner."

He smiled as she left him alone, she had actually asked him to go with her… well, in a roundabout way.

* * *

After her bath Clarisse prepared a simple platter of cheeses, biscuits and fruit. Accompanied by a good bottle of wine it was all she had the energy to prepare, funny how a lazy rainy day playing chess made her tired.

She carried the tray of food into the lounge and set it down on the coffee table, Joseph stood by the window with his back to her.

"I know they tell you it rains in England, but goodness it's washing your garden away."

"Please don't remind me, I dread to think what state it will be in tomorrow morning." She poured two glasses of red wine and moved to stand beside him handing him a glass.

"Thank you."

They stood in companionable silence as the sky cracked open above them and rumbled with thunder. Clarisse shivered involuntarily as a shot of lightning lit up the darkened night.

"I always loved storms as a young boy, I remember sneaking out to sit in the grounds and watch them."

"Didn't your mother chastise you for it?"

"Hardly, my nanny."

"Ahh," Clarisse nodded. "You've never spoken of your childhood to me."

He shrugged and took a sip of his wine. "Royal childhoods are never normal are they, mine wasn't the exception. Being groomed from birth for one job, spending years away in some foreign country locked up in an old boarding school. I don't believe I ever really knew my parents."

He took another sip of his wine. "In some way I think I always promised myself that it wouldn't turn out that way with my own children, but of course, life transpires as it does and the pattern is repeated."

"It isn't too late to change the pattern." She said gently.

"With Philippe you mean, I don't think he even knows what he wants himself. There is no changing things now, the baby is due in less than a month, he's in San Francisco with Helen for the birth."

"Will he return?"

"I hope so, I pray… he wants to marry her, I've given my consent."

She nodded a feeling of warmth spreading through her at his words. "Good."

"Perhaps, I'm not entirely sure it's what she wants though, not from the conversations I've had with her. We shall see."

"You will be grandfather." She nudged his elbow.

"I know, at only 54, surely I'm still too young for that."

"I think you'll find nowadays being a grandparent is something that is coming earlier and earlier in life." Another streak of lightning flashed across the sky. "I think I should switch the lights off." Clarisse said handing Joseph her glass to hold.

He waited as she moved between the rooms turning the lights off before coming to stand next to him again.

"Are you hungry?" She asked retaking her glass.

"Only a little."

"We can light the candles to eat if this weather continues."

"I wish we were by the sea, raging away."

She glanced sideways at his face oddly illuminated by the storm and realised just how alone this man was in the world, so many people fussing around him endlessly yet which one actually knew him? A dull pain clamped down on her chest, pity, she felt sorry for him, sorry for the life he'd had, the life he was never given the opportunity to have, the choices he never had the chance to make.

In a second she had moved across the room and lit a candle and turned the stereo on.

He turned to face her as she moved back to him and took his glass, placing it back on the coffee table.

"Dance with me." She said softly as the music began to creep into the room.

He said nothing, waited as she lifted her hands and slid her fingers around his. Her body moved closer to his, she was warm and smelt of a fresh summer morning. He found his eyes closing, his body giving itself up to the dance.

His feet seemed like lead at first, barely able to move on the carpeted floor, it was she who led. The simple piano tune filled his senses as he listened to the words being sung so gently, reverently. It wasn't invading music, it was music that weaved its way around him and he was glad she had chosen it.

"_It's a funny thing, I look at you, I get a thrill I never knew, isn't it a pity we never met before. Here we are at last, it's like a dream, the two of us, a perfect team. Isn't it a pity we never met before? Imagine all the lonely years we've wasted, me with the neighbours, you at silly labours. What joys un-tasted, my nights were sour spent with Schopenhauer. Let's forget the past, let's both agree, that I'm for you, and you're for me. And it's such a pity we never, never met before. " _

"I'm so grateful for knowing you Clarisse." He whispered into her ear. "You've given me so much."

The music swelled around them and he found his feet, elegantly spinning them around together in time with the beat. Her hand felt tight in his, her head on his shoulder, she was so close, he could feel her heartbeat, perhaps kiss her cheek…

"_Imagine all the years we've wasted, fishing for salmon, losing at backgammon. What joys un-tasted, me at the Prado, you in Colorado. Happiest of girls I'm sure to be, if only you would say to me, that it's such a pity we never met before. What an awful pity we never, never met before."_

When the words ended she was the one to step back from him, to his surprise he found she was smiling.

"I think we should have something to eat."

They sat on the floor and ate together, finished off the first bottle of wine and opened another. As the night progressed they remained sitting on the floor, leaning back against the couch and chatting.

Joseph told her of his time at school, the memories he had of his parents, private family moments that no historian would ever have recorded.

"You do have happy memories of them." She said yawning and leaning her head back on the couch.

"I do, a few, too few."

He glanced down at her, she was almost asleep. Taking her glass from her and standing it on the table he watched her for a while, cradling his own glass in his hand, needing something to hold, afraid he wouldn't be able to resist touching her.

Her face seemed to him utter perfection, he longed to trace his finger across her cheek, down her brow, her nose. To watch as she fidgeted at the ticklish sensation. To once again feel that beautiful mouth against his; it seemed to him she was smiling, her full lips curved wonderfully. Perhaps she was aware of him staring at her, gingerly he moved his hand forward casting a shadow across her face, she never moved. There were gentle lines at the corners of her eyes, evidence of the laughter she had experienced over the years. Tenderly his fingers touched her hair, hardly even moving, feeling the silky strands slide against the tips of his fingers.

Once again the thunder struck outside, louder this time, closer to them. Momentarily he glanced to the window, when he turned back to her she had shifted, her head slid down and to his joy rested against his shoulder. He brought his arm to rest across her body; she curled her legs up beneath her and leant fully against him.

He knew he would have to wake her soon; they couldn't stay here all night. For one thing they would ache terribly. But goodness how he would suffer those aches and pains for the bliss of spending the entire night next to her here. He allowed his eyes to close, his mind to drift away for a while. If only life could always be like this.

Almost forty-five minutes later he awoke again, his arm was numb where she leant against it and his legs complained at the hard floor. Clarisse still slept next to him, though her arms hugged her body, she must be cold. Manoeuvring himself from her he gently rested her head back on the sofa and moved away, standing and stretching his legs.

It occurred to him that finally the rain had stopped, when he went to the window the sky was now calm and tranquil. Not even a sign of the heavy clouds that had dominated the view all day, it was clear and strangely brighter than it had ever been during the daylight hours.

It was almost 2a.m.; he really should wake her and go to bed. Yet when he watched her sleeping there he couldn't bear to. The candle was almost burnt out, the glasses empty. He tidied the remnants of their dinner onto the tray and carried it back through to the kitchen before returning to the lounge.

He leant over Clarisse and once again touched her hair, giving in he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, she didn't stir. His strong arms easily slid beneath her body and effortlessly lifted her up. He held her almost protectively against his chest and carried up the stairs to her bedroom.

It took mere seconds for him to settle her on the sheets, she curled on her side and he covered her. He considered removing her dressing gown but realised she would find that terribly unnerving the following morning if she knew he'd done it.

Leaving her alone he went to his own room and undressed climbing into bed. He left the curtains open and for many hours stared out at the sky wondering just how he was going to leave her in a weeks time. Essentially nothing had happened, nothing more than two people inhabiting the same space, eating and talking together. Yet now he couldn't imagine not seeing her everyday, not sharing every morning with her.

The thought stung and remained with him far into the coming dawn.

* * *

_Well i hope you enjoyed that... please leave me a little note & let me know what you think about how things are going. Thanks xx Rhonda_


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer:** Don't own any of the PD characters but totally own the situations they now find themselves in...

**Author's Note:** I know,I know you're shocked at how quick this update is right! Well with returning to work next week after the all-too-short summer I thought I might aswell post whilst I had the time. So, I treat you to a little party...

* * *

**Fallen**

_part 17_

Joseph didn't wake until well past lunchtime the following day. When he finally rose he found a note leaning against the coffee machine "_Gone to the Gym_."

He showered and dressed before taking his coffee and sitting in the garden. It was dull again outside; the sky was liberally spread with blue, the grey clouds quickly coming in to cover it.

He had hoped for some sunshine today, to take another walk with her to the beach. To watch as she removed her sandals and walked barefoot in the sand. The sway of her hips, the curve of her legs, the way her hands moved, the scent of her skin… it seemed everything about her had become erotic to him, every single thing she did caused his body to react to her, feelings he never thought he'd ever have again, thoughts he had long since decided were a waste of time. The bottom line was he wanted her more than he'd ever wanted anybody or anything.

* * *

It was in the garden Clarisse found him when she returned home, dropping her bag in the kitchen she crossed the gravel to the patio area and sat across from him.

"Good morning. Good workout?"

"It's afternoon but yes it was good." She smiled and pinched some of the croissant from his plate. "It's a little cool to be sat out here don't you think."

"Perhaps, your flowers may survive though."

"I don't dare to look at them yet, more rain predicted today."

"I guessed so. How far is the Gym?"

"Twenty minute drive, not too far, busy though. I had forgotten it was the school holidays and foolishly went for a swim, only to be joined by several mother's and young children a few moments later." She shrugged. "I gave up and lounged in the Jacuzzi pretending it was just as good for me."

He smiled warmly; the image of her in the Jacuzzi was a little too much… thank goodness it was cold out.

"You could have a pool here you know, plenty of room."

"I had thought about it, considered moving that wall and dividing the land up."

"You could even have your own Jacuzzi." He took another bite of his croissant.

"Maybe. Too much fuss now, I should have done it when I first moved in and the garden was still in need of a makeover." She stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"To get some of that coffee, would you like a refill?"

"Thank you." He handed her his cup and watched as she headed back indoors.

When she returned to the garden Clarisse found Joseph walking oddly across the lawn.

"What on earth are you doing?" She asked puzzled as she sat down.

"Mentally measuring… you could make it wonderful out here. Move the seating area over there…" he indicated with his hand. "Have the pool over here and sun lounges down this side."

"It sounds wonderful but far too much work."

He sighed as he returned to sit next to her. "Worth it though perhaps."

"Maybe I'll consider it next year in time for summer, but it will take time and money, I'd have to work the finances out for it." She took another piece of his croissant. "And your shoes are now very muddy."

"Ahh, bother." He glanced down beneath the table and heard her giggle.

"And you clean them yourself." She added.

"But of course madam."

"Ohh I picked you up something for this evening. A new shirt, I hope it fits, and is to your tastes."

"Well, thank you, I'm sure it will be perfect, nice of you to think of it."

"You're very welcome." She folded her hands in an attempt to stop herself from stealing the last of his pastry.

He shook his head chuckling. "Shall I go get another of those for us to share?"

"It rather undoes my hard work from this morning don't you think."

"Ahh, you look wonderful. Indulge yourself."

"Oh go on then, you've twisted my arm. But let's move inside though hey, I'm sure I just felt a drop of rain."

* * *

For the hundredth time Joseph fiddled with the cuffs of his shirt, Clarisse smiled as she watched him do it yet again.

"Anyone would think you are nervous." She teased.

"I am a little."

"No need to be, you look fine, the shirt fits doesn't it."

"Perfectly."

"Good." She had to admit it to herself she had selected well, the sight of Joseph in black trousers, a black shirt and dark tie had been enough to make her feel a little heady.

In fact, she mused, they complimented each other perfectly. Her dress was also black, the skirt had a wonderful flair to it and she was sure if she spun around too quickly her underwear would be on full show. A silk scarf of blues, greys and blacks adorned her shoulders. The pearls at her throat and ears were a mixture of white and dull grey, a blend that sounded so odd yet dazzled with her full outfit.

If they were any normal couple out on any normal date they would look good together. She rather liked the idea that they looked good together, despite her better judgement.

He twisted the watch on his wrist, the gold standing out even more with the darkness of his outfit, and once again caught her attention.

"Joseph, I wish you'd relax, you're putting me off my driving."

"I rather feel like I'm going on trial."

"Hardly, they don't know you, they won't judge you. I'm sure that, apart from Martin who can be rather astute, nobody will even recognise you…" she smiled.

"Hmm, I rather think the fact you worked at the Genovian palace might give them the incentive to pay attention when the country or its monarch is mentioned on the news."

"Perhaps, but even if they do recognise you they will be far too polite to mention it. Instead you will be seen as another Clarisse friend."

"Another?" he queried raising an eyebrow and turning to her.

"Almost there." She said quickly as they turned a corner. "Crash course… Mark's birthday party, he's 39 next week."

"Goodness, your sister doesn't look old enough."

"She isn't, she had him when she was only 20. Anyhow he's married, his second wife, no children."

"Wife's name?"

"Christina."

"Mark and Christina, right, got it."

"Alright, okay Rose's second child Julianne is 32, as you know has a baby girl, husband's name is Robert, lovely guy, really friendly, approachable."

"Julianne and Robert."

"Yes, and David is 30, unmarried, no partner. An artist, used to be bit of a free spirit, travelled widely and painted, earned as he went. Now he's a lecturer at the University in Brighton. I think he caught the train in earlier today."

"Mark, Julianne, David, children. Respective partners, Christina, Robert and painting."

Clarisse laughed. "You're too good."

"Louisa, grand-daughter. David is Clarisse's favourite."

"What? How can you tell?"

"The way you described him, plus he sounds a little like the rebellious Clarisse I've gotten to know."

"Well, how perceptive of you. Now…" She slowed down a little. "Martin is very funny, a tease, sarcastic at times. It's easier to go with his latest joke. And I think there might be a few of Mark's friends there but as I know none of them we meet them together."

"How wonderful."

She pulled the car into the driveway.

"How's my tie?" he said turning to face her.

She couldn't help but giggle. "Straight. Now then, an umbrella I think." Reaching into the back seat she grabbed her handbag and an umbrella. "Do you have the gift?"

"And the wine. You do realise I haven't been to a Birthday party with less than a hundred people for years."

"Don't show off."

"Hardly, I feel more conscious of myself tonight than I have at any of those elaborate functions."

"You'll do just fine. You can win anyone over."

"Anyone?" He said suddenly serious, gazing at her intensely.

"Yes, you're very charming in public settings, I think the spotlight naturally falls on you."

"I actually loathe being the centre of attention."

"And yet you handle it so well. Carry it so well; it must be all those years of practice. "

"Perhaps, it certainly did come naturally. Now you, you demand attention."

"How so?"

"I mean it in a good way, you shine, eyes are drawn to you."

She snapped her head back as he reached to touch her face. "We'll be the last ones to arrive." She opened her door and swung her legs out, opening the umbrella as she did so. "Wait there, I'll come round for you."

He did as instructed and waited for her; together they huddled beneath the large umbrella and quickly ran to the porch for cover.

"Well here we go." He murmured behind her as she rang the doorbell.

He felt her hand move back and squeeze his, it was over as soon as it had begun but it filled him with a sense of security. He was here with her; he was becoming part of her life.

* * *

Clarisse wandered into the kitchen after dinner to find Joseph happily chatting to Rose as they stacked the dishwasher. Silently she watched them from the doorway.

"Tell me does David still paint?" Joseph asked.

"Oh yes, I have a few of his works around the house actually." Rose replied proudly.

"You must show them to me, does he sell any?"

"Occasionally, he used to sell quite a lot, not so much anymore. I'm glad he finally settled down into the 'career' thing, but part of me wonders just what he could have achieved. We never stop worrying about our children I guess, just have to let them get on with it."

"Indeed."

"You have sons don't you."

"Yes, two, Pierre and Philippe."

"Are you close?"

Joseph was about to answer in the negative and then re-thought it. "Yes, I think we are, I recall how I was with my father and my relationship with my sons is a world away from that. I've not always been entirely open to everything they've suggested but I keep trying, especially since their mother died. Isabella always knew what to say in any given situation, I usually react first think later."

"Sounds familiar. Neither of them married?"

"Not yet no, Pierre is with the church, training to be a Priest."

"I never thought about the fact somebody trains to be a Priest, but of course they must. Silly to think otherwise." Rose closed the dishwasher. "Thank you for helping me Joseph."

"You're very welcome, thank you for a wonderful dinner."

"Oh I'm sure you've had much more extravagant."

"Ahh but rich food usually disagrees with me, any member of my staff will tell you…"

"He always stuck to the salad." Clarisse offered making her presence known.

"Yes, I always have the salad." He smiled warmly at her as she entered the kitchen.

"You seem to be doing a lot of that lately." Clarisse pointed out. "Helping with the dishes, careful your hands don't dry out. Rose dear I have been sent in search of more wine."

"Don't forget your driving." Rose handed Clarisse another bottle of white from the fridge.

"It's not for me." She smiled sweetly and turned around brushing Joseph's chest with her arm as she did so. "I do believe Martin is about to commence the dancing, always amusing, so don't hide out here too long the pair of you."

"Yes bossy." Rose interrupted before Joseph could reply.

Clarisse swept out of the room leaving Joseph staring after her, and Rose watching him do so.

"She doesn't mean to be so short you know, she's always been snappy."

"I don't mind it, in fact it was one of the first things I liked about her, she doesn't dance around subjects with me. Most people can't talk to me as a human being, she does, I like that."

"I can understand why."

Rose guided him forward until they were outside the lounge doors watching Mark and David clear tables and chairs away, Martin was gripping Clarisse in a bear-like hold and dramatically waltzing her across the room.

Joseph laughed next to Rose.

"Why did you come to find her?" She whispered.

He wasn't put out by the question, in fact he was perfectly comfortable speaking with this lady, he sensed some sort of understanding there.

"I needed to. When she left, well, I don't think things were really finished. She rushed away, we never really talked about it." He shook his head and leant against the doorframe, his gaze shifting from the dancing to settle on Rose. "You're wary of me?"

"Not at all, you seem perfectly genuine, it's plainly obvious to me that you are in love with my sister."

He said nothing in response but didn't break her gaze.

"But then I'm sure I don't know you entirely, certainly not like Clarisse does. And this is possibly the strangest situation I've ever heard of. I mean if I dwell on the fact I'm standing here talking to a…" she whispered the next word. "…King, then I will probably clam up. I keep pretending you're just Clarisse's date."

"Why thank you, I think that's more than she does. She focuses on the fact of what I am, every now and then she forgets and we have a few hours of wonderfully close friendship."

"But you want more don't you… of course you do…" Rose glanced across the lounge to the pairs, Clarisse was now teaching Mark how to waltz properly as Martin twirled his daughter around so quickly they both almost fell into the fireplace.

"What do you want from her?" Rose finally said. "Honestly."

"Honestly…" his voice was low, full of something Rose couldn't quite place, nerves perhaps, regret. "Honestly I want to marry her, to spend the rest of my life with her. But I know it will never happen, she will never agree to it. She finds it awkward just having me here tonight, having me stay in her house. She doesn't want to live in Genovia, she doesn't want to be followed and photographed and judged on everything she says and does. I can accept that, it doesn't make it any easier and I certainly keep telling myself I should leave now and get it over with. But I can't, I can't bring myself to leave her."

Rose mulled over his words for a few moments before responding.

"Don't give up on her just yet, I'm not saying she will change her mind, but perhaps the two of you will find a way. As crazy as it seems right now, let things settle and happen naturally. Don't give up."

"Joseph," Clarisse's voice was full of laughter as she called him. "Joseph they are killing me, come dance with me please and show them how it's done."

He nodded to Rose and smiling with pride made his way across the room to take Clarisse's hand.

* * *

The rain had returned when a little after one in the morning Clarisse slid behind the steering wheel of her BMW. She was giggling as Joseph climbed in next to her.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were drunk madam." He said as he pulled his seatbelt across his chest and locked it into place.

"I am most certainly not Sir, I had two glasses, nothing more."

"Count to five in German."

"Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf."

"A-ha, now count down from five in French."

"Ohh damn it. Erm, cinq… quatre, trios… deux and un."

"Well done, you are safe to drive."

"Thank you, but your plan is defunct, what would have happened if I didn't know the language?"

"I would have given you a different test." Joseph lifted his hand to wave to Rose and Martin as they watched from the door.

Clarisse did the same and then reversed the car back into the rain swept street.

"I saw you and Rose deep in conversation, you seem to be getting on well."

"I told you, I like her, she's fun. I like them all, certainly more entertaining that some dull ball."

"And the deep conversation?"

"Well," he settled back in his seat glad he wasn't negotiating the tiny country lanes in the dark heavy rain. "She asked me just what I wanted from you."

"What? Goodness, I'm sorry, she had no right to do that, sheer nosiness."

"I don't mind, she's doing what a close family does, taking care of their relations."

"Yes but still she shouldn't have done that… honestly." Clarisse drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. "What did you tell her?" She finally asked, somewhat apprehensive about his answer.

She heard Joseph's slow exhale of breath, she dare not take her eyes from the road to look at him but she sensed him moving next to her, sensed him staring at her.

"I told her in all honesty that I want to marry you, to spend the rest of my life with you."

Clarisse's sharp intake of breath and odd swerve of the wheel was enough to confirm his words had hit her badly. He sat back in his seat fiddling with the watch on his wrist, staring out of the rain soaked window.

She said nothing in response; neither of them said another word for the remainder of the journey home.

* * *

_Well I only hope you enjoyed reading that chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it :-) Please leave me a little note, and the next chapter will be here soon, I promise xx Rhonda_


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer:** Don't own the Princess Diaries characters & make no money from this whatsoever!

**Fallen**

_part 18_

Clarisse pulled the car into her driveway and switched the engine off. For a few seconds they sat in darkness neither saying a word, Clarisse still gripping the steering wheel. Finally she leant into the back seat and grabbed her handbag, rummaging along the seat she realised she had left the umbrella at Rose's house. They would just have to get wet.

Locating the house keys in her bag she swung open the car door and stepped out into the rain. She waited for Joseph to do the same, lifted her head up a little, allowing the cool water to run down her face, down her neck, disappearing between her breasts.

Hearing the other car door shut she slammed her own and half-ran to the house. The security lights came on and she unlocked the door and stepped into the house. Her heels sounded eerily loud on the tiled floor as she crossed to the sink, dropping her bag on the side she turned the tap on and took a glass from the cupboard.

She closed her eyes as she drank, listening as Joseph finally entered the house as well, he must be soaked, lord knows what he had been doing outside. They hadn't spoken in almost an hour now and she was still at a loss to find something to say, to argue with him or offer her sympathy. She could never marry him, surely he knew that…

Placing the empty glass on the side she pulled the wet scarf from her shoulders and dropped it next to her bag before turning. Joseph stood across the room from her, leaning back on the table edge. He looked weary, almost afraid.

She tried to find her voice but it failed her. Folding her hands together she crossed to him, as she neared he stood up, ready for her harsh words. She opened her arms, raised her hands and attempted to speak.

"I…" she swallowed, her throat felt tight despite the water.

Dropping her arms to her sides she gave up, she stepped even closer to him, her body touching his slightly. There was a deep warmth emanating from her stomach and spreading through her body, her desire to be touched by him had turned into some wanton need roaming throughout her.

She felt on the precipice of something, she was unsure what, longing to plunge into what she knew was there waiting for her. To finally cross that barrier that had kept them separate for so long.

In a split second her mind collapsed with the rush of arguments against it, her desire took over, she almost leapt forward, her mouth crushing against his angrily and forcefully.

He was unprepared and he fell back a little against the table, she tasted so good; sweet as honey, pure as milk and air, sustaining him. Their mouths moulded together hotly; he felt his heart thumping in his chest and was sure she must have heard it too. The blood seemed to vibrate in every nerve ending making it painful for him to even try and breathe.

Eventually he lifted his arms around her body, locking them around her back until her body was fully against his. He could not stop kissing her; yearning to fill this void he had inside, to have her as part of his body, part of his soul. He was aware of her hands roaming over his back, down his spine, sending tiny shockwaves through him. They had kissed before in the palace, never like this, he'd never allowed himself to feel like this.

Daring himself he allowed his hands to move over her back, over the damp dress, feeling the shape of her bra beneath it. She was sucking on his bottom lip, her tongue moving into his mouth, tasting him. He did the same, finding it the most natural thing in the world to explore her mouth.

His hands fell further down her back, sliding over the material that clung to her skin, he cupped her backside and she moaned into his mouth. He heard himself do the same, was ashamed of how badly he wanted her, of how hard he was already. God she could probably bring him to orgasm by just moving her body against his right here.

He realised her hands were at his neck pulling his tie loose, they had moved across the room somehow and he pressed her back against the work surface. His tie discarded she moved to his trousers and made short work of his belt.

He pressed his lower body into hers, her leg lifted around his and he lifted her up until she was sitting on the surface. She had pulled his shirt free from his trousers and her hands were travelling up over his bare skin. His mouth slid from hers, he nipped her chin, then licked down her neck, her hands were on his shoulders now, her nails digging into him.

There was a raw primitive need cursing through her, a complete an absolute need to fuse with him. Her leg was wrapped around his waist, the other somewhat wedged against the side, she was straddling him, there on the kitchen surface.

Her head fell back and rested on one of the cupboards, Joseph's hands were riding up her legs, one on each, her dress eagerly pushed aside. She longed to touch him; she could feel him hard against her inner thigh.

His mouth moved back up her neck to join with hers again. His hands were trembling as he attempted to slip her dress from her shoulders. His need was bare and pure, almost painful in his want to touch her skin.

"Joseph…" she murmured. It was the first word either of them had spoken. "Joseph, not here."

He held her face, kissing her mouth deeply. He moaned her name.

She reached for his hands, folding her fingers with his. "Upstairs." She whispered.

* * *

"God you're amazing." He exhaled as he dropped to the bed next to her. "Amazing."

She rolled onto her side raising herself up onto her elbow to watch him. His eyes were closed, his mouth open as he struggled to breathe normally again.

Smiling she traced her index finger down the middle of his chest, over his flat stomach.

"Oh you don't think we're done yet do you." She said roughly as she bit his earlobe.

"Good god…" he turned his head sideways searching for her mouth, she resisted him giggling as she did so. He lifted his hands to try and hold her still. "Clarisse, don't tease me." He growled trying to kiss her.

"I wouldn't dream of it." She placed her hands on his chest and forced him to lay on his back, in a second she had straddled his legs and was leaning down over him, hands either side of his head, studying his face intently.

"Your lip is bleeding." She said.

"It is?" He reached to touch it as she leant across to the bedside table and grabbed a tissue.

"Here, let me." She dabbed at the small cut on the inside of his lip. "Dear me. Silly Joseph."

His hands rested on her hips as he watched her. "You caused me to bite my lip."

"Oh did I indeed. Would you rather I hadn't kissed you in the kitchen and instead allowed you to go to bed alone?"

"You very well know the answer to that." His thumbs were stroking her hips, drawing tiny circles on her skin.

She smiled knowingly. "There, all better."

"Thank you darling."

She raised an eyebrow, screwing the tissue up in her hand. "Darling?"

"Do you not like that?"

The look of worry that crossed his face caused her to laugh.

"Don't make fun of me." He pouted.

"I'm not, I wouldn't."

His hands traced up from her hips, along the edge of her stomach. "Yes you are, I'm no good at this, no practice."

"Ohhh." She leant down over him touching his face. "Ohh, my darling." Smiling sweetly she kissed his mouth. "Are you hungry?"

"Hungry?" he shook his head exasperated. "Hungry? I'm on the verge of spilling my soul out to you and you ask me if I'm hungry. And make fun of me."

"I'm not making fun of you, I've been very nice to you I think."

"If that's 'nice' I can't wait for the extraordinary."

Again she laughed, he relished seeing her so happy and free of worry.

"You know I love you Clarisse."

"Joseph, you don't have to say these things." She sat up again reaching across the bed for her dressing gown.

"I need to, I want to, I want you to know. This isn't some moment of… one night stand."

"Joseph, I know, for me neither." She pulled the dressing gown over her arms before leaning over and kissing his head tenderly. "Things are always so serious between us, everything unreal. We both know you have another week here, we both know we have much to discuss before you leave. But let's not do it tonight, let's just be together… just for tonight."

He nodded, unable to form a worthy response.

"Good, now, I asked are you hungry? Because frankly I am bloody starving."

Now he laughed. "Oh I was right, you are amazing. You continue to surprise me."

"I think ice-cream is in order, something naughty. Are you joining me?"

"Dare I not be?"

"Well I could sit here and eat it alone but that wouldn't be much fun."

She manoeuvred herself from him and wearily stood up, tying the belt on her dressing gown.

"Oh dear, I must be getting old, my body aches. Stay there, and I shall be right back."

"Alright, I await your return."

He heard the sound of running water coming from the outer bathroom and then Clarisse humming as she went downstairs. Deciding he ought to freshen up himself he dragged his body up out of bed and headed for the en suite.

When he returned he stood by the window, shielded slightly by the curtains, the heavy rain from earlier in the evening had slowed into a slight patter. He could see out over the countryside, almost to the sea, could smell the slightly salty air coming through the open window.

Turning he cast a glance at the rumpled bed, the sheets tossed aside, pillows cascading together, softened in the middle where their heads had lay. On the floor lay her dress, the pool of black material just as she'd stepped out of it. He bent to pick it up and oddly found himself pressing his face into it, drowning in her perfume.

The part of his rational mind could hardly comprehend he was here in her bedroom, that he'd made love to her twice, that he'd touched her body so intimately, felt that joy so intensely. There were so many things he wanted to tell her, revelations of love and foreverness.

"Here we go." She breezed into the room, instantly lighting it up.

He shook his head suppressing his laughter. "Ice-cream Clarisse, it's almost 3 in the morning."

"A perfect time then." She smiled placing the tray down and climbing onto the bed. "Are you going to join me?" She patted the bed.

Chuckling he sat next to her, his long legs spread out along the bed. She moved closer to him, lifting a spoon to his mouth.

"Hmm, and fed as well." He opened his mouth and accepted the frozen sweetness.

"You need fattening up a little." She teased patting his stomach with her free hand. "I see you dressed."

He glanced down at his briefs. "Well, so did you."

"I was hardly going to parade my naked body in the kitchen where anybody might wander past and see me."

"At 3 in the morning?"

"You never know." She smiled and took a spoon of the ice cream for herself.

"Come sit closer to me." He said gently as she offered him another spoon of the dessert.

"Where?"

He lifted the tray up and placed it on the floor carefully avoiding spilling any of the glasses of water. She held onto the tub of ice cream and watched as he plumped the pillows up behind him.

"Now come sit here."

Smiling coyly she moved to sit between his legs, leaning back against his chest and feeding him over her shoulder. Silently they ate, his hands stroking up and down her arms, occasionally kissing the side of her neck.

"You were correct." He whispered as he kissed her head. "Ice cream is a good idea."

"I always have good ideas."

"Yes, I believe you do." He kissed her again. "Why tonight?" He whispered, almost afraid of altering the mood. "Why do this tonight?"

She licked the spoon. "There isn't one specific reason, surely you must know that, it just felt right."

She pulled herself forward from his arms and turned slightly. "I think, if I'm entirely honest with myself, that I always knew we would sleep together, it was just a matter of when. And now we have, another hurdle jumped."

"Hurdle?" he looked rather hurt.

"Oh my dear." She touched his face. "I didn't mean it to sound so brutal, I mean, everything with us seems to be barriers, rules, getting anywhere together takes so bloody long. If we were a normal couple who were attracted to each other as much as we obviously are don't you think we would have done this months ago."

She smiled warmly. "You said you liked me being to the point, this is to the point."

He laughed. "I guess so."

She placed the pot of ice cream back onto the tray and crawled on top of him. "Besides, why are you analysing what's happened?" She kissed his mouth. "Why aren't you…" she kissed him again. "Simply enjoying it?"

* * *

Clarisse's dressing gown lay discarded on the bedroom floor, on top of it Joseph's black briefs. The empty ice cream tub on top of them. The clock in the hall downstairs struck 4:30 and the sleeping figure in the bed snuggled closer to her companion.

Joseph's arms wrapped tighter around Clarisse, her head against his upper chest, her own arms holding onto him. She had fallen to sleep almost immediately, cuddling up to him and closing her eyes as they spoke in hushed tones. No sooner had he settled into their embrace than he'd glanced at her face and known she slept.

As he held her in his arms he couldn't help but wonder what might have happened to him had they never met. If she'd never come to work at the palace, if he'd never known her face, her name, her voice, never felt her kiss. What would his days consist of, work and work and work? Growing more and more distant from his family. His nights would be sleepless and uncomfortable, she had brought him such tenderness, showed him so much laughter and life. Who the hell would he ever love if she weren't in his life?

He kissed her temple and closed his eyes. It was almost morning, the sun would be rising, the day beginning and people marching about their tasks. He would be quite content to lay here for the rest of his days, holding her close to him, his body spooned against hers.

Soon he slept also.

* * *

_  
I know the chapter you've been waiting for right! And don't worry, there is an uncut version ((that is extremely naughty)) available on my CJ website. Please, please, please if you go there to read it could you still leave me a little message here - thanks muchly and enjoy xx Rhonda_


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer**: Don't own any of the PD characters - besides these are beyond recognition...

**Fallen**

_part 19_

It was a persistent knocking that roused Clarisse from her deep and pleasant sleep. She turned in Joseph's arms, shielding her eyes from the bright sunshine that streamed through the gap in the curtains, and glanced at the clock.

10:30.

There was another knock and she heard voices in the garden. Joseph stirred next to her, enfolding her in his arms and bringing her back close to his chest as he kissed her neck.

"There's somebody outside." She whispered.

He moaned, he wasn't coherent yet she thought as she glanced over her shoulder at him.

"Stay here, I'll just be a moment."

Reluctantly he let go of her and she slid out of bed, collected her dressing gown from the floor and disappeared from the bedroom.

A few minutes later she returned and crawled back into bed.

"Now let's try again." She whispered, moving back into his embrace. "Good morning."

"Good morning Clarisse." His eyes were open now. "Who woke us?"

"Neighbours, something to do with a fence coming down in the storm and would I mind if they went over my land for some reason or another… I wasn't really paying attention, as long as they don't disturb us again. I was sleeping rather well." She snuggled next to him, closing her eyes and resting her head against his shoulder.

"As was I."

Their bodies were already silently communicating, arms, hands, legs, feet, caressing the others. Skin alive at each and every point they touched.

"Would you like something to eat?" She mumbled against his chest.

"I can wait."

She lifted her face up. "I can make you something, if you like."

"No," he stroked her cheek. "I'll make you something later."

"Mmm, okay." She smiled as his lips touched her forehead and his arms circled her waist. "I seem to have rather misjudged you."

"How so?" He whispered, his voice deep with desire.

"You are insatiable."

"Hardly." He brought his hand to her hair, his fingers tunnelling through the strands. "It's the effect you have upon me."

"Flatterer." Her voice was barely audible as she kissed his delicious mouth, his goatee tickling her chin, she didn't mind, she giggled.

"That's hardly encouraging." He nipped her chin with his teeth.

"Sorry, your beard." She stroked it with her fingers.

"You dislike…"

"Oh goodness no, I love it." She rolled onto her side guiding him over with her, they lay facing each other.

Clarisse pushed the sheets down from their bodies, sliding her palm over his chest where the sunlight caressed his skin. His fingers still toyed with her hair, his other hand reached to her chin, his index finger trailing down her neck, over her chest.

"Freckles." He breathed leaning forward and kissing her there. "Such beautiful skin."

Part of her felt rather unnerved by his open adoration but she couldn't deny that the majority of her was enthralled by his unadulterated appreciation of her body.

His head fell back to the pillow and he stroked his open hand over her breast, she shivered as his fingers closed over her nipple. Her eyes fluttered closed and she gave herself up to the sweetness of his touch, the feel of his body firm and taut beneath her hands, his fingers gently and slowly waking her body.

The sunlight was warm on her skin, floating over her just as his mouth moved to lick her other nipple. She traced her fingers up his arms, past his elbows, the feel of his biceps stretching as he cradled her body. Up the back of his neck she trailed her fingertips then back down again until they rested firmly on his shoulders.

Joseph moved his mouth to her neck and gently suckled on her skin, he felt her lift her leg up over his, heard the distinctly feminine groan emanate from the back of her throat.

He opened his eyes and stroked the hair back from her flushed face; she was rubbing herself against his thigh.

"My love." He breathed, stroking her swollen lips with his thumb. He clearly saw her lips twitch in a slight smile, despite what she said she enjoyed hearing those words. He kissed her nose. "You're so incredible." Kissed her mouth. "So perfect."

"Not perfect." She groaned opening her eyes and reaching around his back, wrapping her arms around him.

"Yes perfect, this incredibly perfect mouth, I want to spend every second kissing you." He stroked his thumbs over her cheeks. "Perfectly flawless skin. But, your eyes…"

"They aren't so perfect?" She pouted in mock disapproval.

"No, they aren't. They're beyond perfect. If I could bottle and sell the way I feel when you look at me then I'd be a millionaire."

She grinned. "You already are." She tightened her leg over his. "Stop flattering me, you don't need to right now. I'm here."

"But I enjoy it."

"I enjoy it too." She leaned into him and kissed his mouth, stroking his tongue with her own. This time he groaned.

* * *

Joseph flopped back onto the bed. "I never dreamt anything could feel this good."

Clarisse leant over him and kissed his stomach, up over his chest until she finally reached his mouth.

"I did." She rested on top of him, folding her arms beneath her chin.

He stroked her hair. "Not disappointing?"

She giggled. "Why would it be?" She glanced up at his face. "Tell me Sir just how many _partners_ have you had?"

"That's an awfully impertinent question." He smiled his fingers winding into her hair.

"Well…" she kissed his chest. "…sir. I find it difficult to believe that somebody as attractive and charming as you spent fifteen years after his wife's death without having any sexual urges."

"I didn't say that I didn't have… urges, as you eloquently put it. I just didn't act upon them."

"You can't have been short of offers."

He laughed. "I think it was my cold, aloof exterior that put them off. Though there was a maid who once offered…"

"Really!" She giggled. "Well, how lucky."

"I didn't take her up on it, goodness no. Richard discreetly had her transferred."

"It's a good job you have that man."

"Indeed." His fingers tickled down her back, resting just above her backside.

"So, how many?"

"Clarisse…" he grumbled. He couldn't help but smile at the sparkle in her eye. "There was nobody between Isabella and you."

"Okay… ahh, so there was somebody before your wife."

He grinned shaking his head. "Yes, alright, yes there was somebody before Bella. She was an older woman."

"Ohhh."

"Seduced me at the Christmas party. Told me to visit her room that night."

"Well, that one night must have taught you a hell of a lot."

"Not one night."

"Not?"

"No, every chance I got."

"Wow Joseph you rampant young man."

"Don't say it like that."

"It's fine, it's normal, a young man having some fun, I would think it strange if you hadn't. Besides, I'm certainly pleased that this lady taught that young man a few things, and I'm sure Isabella was too."

He stroked her hair again, she noted the softness of his eyes, the smile had faded.

"You still miss her?"

"Yes, she was best friend, my only friend for so long."

"You were her first?"

He nodded.

"How strange for her, to only know one man."

Joseph didn't say anything simply continued stroking her back with his fingertips, the sunlight felt warm and comforting on him.

"Now, how many for you?"

"Lovers?" She blurted out looking up at him. "Well, that's a difficult question."

"So many you've forgotten?"

"Hey! No!" She slapped his chest.

"I was joking, joking." He laughed as she slapped him again.

"Hmm, let me think." She rolled off of him and lay on her back, mentally flicking through the list in her head. "Nine, yes, nine."

"Wow, a few more than me."

"But not that many, not when you consider I am a normal person – unlike you – and I have been single for most of my life."

"Stephen was your first?"

She shook her head. "No, I had a boyfriend here, at school. Edward." She said in an elaborate voice. "His parents were very rich, father was a lawyer you know."

"Oh very nice."

"He was, and he was my first, when we were seventeen. He was lovely, but of course I went to France and fell in love with it and ended up staying there for University and I met Stephen and the rest is history."

"You broke poor Edward's heart."

"He wasn't in love with me, it was a teenage thing. Besides he's married to a wonderful lady called Rachel, they have five children." She turned to face him. "FIVE." She mouthed. "Can you imagine!"

Joseph laughed and took her hand, folding his fingers with hers. "Tell me about Stephen."

She let out a long slow breath. "Well, where to begin. He swept me off my feet; I fell instantly and passionately in love with him. He was so full of life, so exciting and unexpected and French, very French." She smiled. "For a while everything was wonderful, we married, much to my parents utter disapproval but they came to Paris and were very gracious at the wedding."

"It wasn't until a year after the wedding that I realised something wasn't entirely right with the situation. I needed to work, to pass my degree; he was out every night partying. It went on, things degraded and it began to dawn on me that my husband being drunk every night wasn't exactly normal."

Joseph lay silent next to her allowing her to go on as and when she was ready.

"Unfortunately I fell pregnant."

"You did?"

"But I lost the baby, I was distraught, laying in bed in some godforsaken hospital. And I realised I didn't want him there, how awful is that? I called Rose and she flew over that very night, some saviour I guess."

She smiled weakly.

"Rose took me to a hotel when I was dismissed from hospital, she went to the apartment we shared to fetch my things, found Stephen… spending quality time with some young lady. It wasn't the first time I'd known him sleep around, yet somehow Rose knowing made it devastating. She convinced me I was living a lie, I left him, I returned to England. Divorced him a few months later and that was that. A chapter over."

Joseph sighed deeply. "Hell of a way to begin life. You were what then?"

"23 and already a divorcee. Still, I put it behind me, picked myself up and got into the royal circle." She turned over and rested against him again, draping her arm leisurely over his body.

"So I guess the next man I dated was Colin who I met at College, he was very quiet and gentle and caring. Just what I needed I suppose, to ease me back in. Unfortunately that quiet, gentle, caring life can only last for so long, and I'm embarrassed to admit I got bored."

Joseph chuckled. "Now that's the Clarisse I know."

"Well, I briefly dated a very fun loving guy, David, he was lively and we had a good time together. Unfortunately he had two major faults, one I wasn't at all attracted to him and our sex life was very one-sided. Secondly, his fun-loving began to remind me of Stephen, so I ended that one."

"A wise decision, you don't want too much bore or too much fun."

"You're mocking me?"

"Never." He kissed her head. "Go on."

She took a deep breath. "Daniel, Daniel was wonderful, I probably would have married him. We dated for seven months, then it became apparent he wanted more than I could give."

"How so?"

"Children, I couldn't have them, after the miscarriage… well, complications. Plus I wasn't entirely sure that I loved him, no I did love him I just wasn't in love with him. I didn't get that overwhelming feeling that I got with Stephen, no hearts and flowers and pulsing sensations. But it turned out fine, we remained friends, he got married, we still keep in touch. After we broke up I went to work at Windsor, the career was taking off."

She kissed his chest. "What number am I on?"

"Five down." He said shakily. "Clarisse, you never mentioned before, about not being able…"

"I got over it a long time ago." She shrugged. "Some people are meant to be parents and others aren't. I can't change it and frankly now I wouldn't wish too, I've enjoyed my life."

"But…"

"No," she lifted her head to look at him. "Joseph, there is no 'but', I shirked nothing, I could have adopted, I didn't, there it is." She smiled. "Okay."

He nodded shakily reaching to her shoulder. "Okay."

"Right, goodness." She closed her eyes and was silent for a few minutes before she casually drawled out the name. "Jake."

"Hmm?"

"Jake, was number six. And he was damned gorgeous." She rolled onto her back smiling broadly. "I mean he was absolutely gorgeous and I was immensely attracted to him, we had the most amazing sex."

"Really… I hate him."

Clarisse laughed. "Relax dear, our physical attraction was all we had. It was a purely casual thing, I was very busy with work and he was a diversion every now and then.

"Clarisse you played the game."

"Only for a while. Besides I was taught my lesson."

"I'm intrigued."

"Well Jake was fabulous, unfortunately he moved away. I was single for a while, I didn't mind it, I like being alone."

"But?"

"But, I also enjoy company and one of the fine ladies I worked with suggested I go on a date with this guy she knew, John. So I did, and we dated for a while and we got on fine, he was intelligent, I could really speak to him, communicate with him you know."

"I do."

She buried her face in his chest suppressing laughter.

"What's funny?"

"The downside was it was the worst sex I've ever known." She stretched on her back. "I mean really bad, obviously he enjoyed it."

He turned onto his side staring at her, one arm propping his head up as he queried her remark.

"Well you know he kept… you know… before I even, well I never actually got there, that was the problem. Even worse, he didn't even realise that anything was wrong. He was sated and content."

Joseph chuckled. "I didn't realise men could still get away with that in this day and age."

"They can't." she said sarcastically. "Needless to say it didn't last long. And furthermore he put me off, I was single for a good few years."

"And who was the lucky man to tempt you back?"

"Alexander, now he was divine. We lived together, the first man I'd lived with since Stephen. Were together for almost three years."

"A long time."

"For me yes. He was perfect, caring, fun, intelligent, extremely hard working and I liked him very much."

"Liked?"

"Hence the problem, I didn't love him. He wanted to marry me, wanted the whole commitment and forever thing, and I wanted to give it to him but I just… I had a choice, marry him and be happy just being together, having that security… in the end I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with somebody I didn't love."

She turned over again, side by side with him. "And then of course there's you."

"Ahh, and do I get a one of these erm… run-throughs, mental tick boxes?"

"Not yet."

"Not yet?" he whispered as she leant closer to him.

"Not yet." She kissed him slowly and leisurely. "So you have my life story in lovers."

"I do, did you break up with Alexander before you came to Genovia?"

"No, we broke up in 1996."

"96, you mean you were single for almost ten years, no partners at all?"

Sighing heavily Clarisse returned to lying on her back. "I didn't say that."

"You said there were only nine."

"There are only nine."

"Meaning you slept with one of them again?"

Her voice was shaky when she spoke again. "You have to understand Joseph that, that Stephen and I had an extreme relationship, odd and crazy, but somehow we were always drawn to one another. After I divorced him, he married again, within two years she'd left him and he was actually heartbroken, he called me, begged me, and I went to visit him. Ended up staying for almost two weeks."

"And sleeping with him?" His voice was oddly low, lacking in emotion.

She nodded. "Yes, you have to understand that no man has ever made me feel the way he did. It went on after that, when I was down, when he was, we would turn to each other, I know it sounds cheap and awful but it's the way things turned out. Every few years we'd meet up. It was somehow something secretive and exciting and just… erased whatever was going wrong."

Joseph lay on his back, a deep sigh escaped him. "Well."

"Well indeed." She settled next to him and for a few moments they were silent.

"When you left me…" Joseph's voice was gruff as he attempted to speak again. "You went to France."

She groaned and turned on her side, lifting herself up to look at him. "I'm sorry."

"You went to France and slept with him didn't you?"

She nodded mutely.

"Why?" His voice was in danger of failing him altogether. "Why after all we went through together, why do that?"

"Because it's who I am, I'm cold Joseph, I erase what's gone before and move on… and I needed to forget you, to forget that year."

"So you slept with him! Because he makes you feel like no other man ever can."

"No, no man ever could… until you. You made me feel all those things again only more intense, more magnified."

He moved to roll off the bed but she caught his arms. "No listen Joseph, you have to let me explain. I went to France, I stayed in Paris for a couple of weeks and then I went to see him. I slept with him, once, and I cried the entire time. Can you imagine that."

Shakily she let go of him, yet he remained sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to her.

"I cried, I couldn't get you out of my head, the entire time I was wishing it was you, wanting you to touch me, to be making love to you not fucking some charmer who can offer me nothing." She swallowed. "Because he can't offer me anything Joseph, he can't, not anymore, because he means nothing to me. Nothing."

She sat back waiting for his response. She watched his shoulders droop, how he stared at the floor.

"I don't, I mean all the time we'd spent together, all the things we'd said, I'd said to you… yet you could just go and let him…"

"You don't understand." Her eyes filled with tears despite her hatred of such a sign of weakness. "Joseph, please, try and…" she moved behind him, her hands on his bare shoulders. "You must, I didn't do it to hurt you, I thought I'd never see you again, I wanted to forget, it hurt too much…"

"I was hurting too, I wanted you, you could have stayed."

"You know why I left. Don't do this now. Please." She kissed his head. "Please, we're here now, we're together now."

He turned and held her arms, slowly and tenderly kissing her forehead. "We're both so messed up, in one way or another."

"Yes, I suppose we are. That doesn't mean we can't be happy, and you do make me so very happy Joseph."

"And you do me." He kissed her mouth, she melted into him, her arms looping around his neck as she brought her body up to his, kneeling in front of him.

He held her tightly against him, stroking her bare back, almost groaning in frustration as he kissed her forehead.

"God I love you Clarisse, I'm so in love with you, so much…"

"And that's so terrible?" She attempted to smile.

"Absolute agony. I'm not sure you love me."

Her hold on him loosened a little.

"You never say," he shook his head. "You never have said the words, I wonder."

"I don't do that Joseph," she shrugged. "I just don't. It doesn't mean I don't show you how I feel. Let's just leave it at that for the moment, please."

He considered it for a moment, staring into her bright blue eyes, at the way she chewed down on her bottom lip.

"Madam," he finally whispered. "You do realise that right at this moment I would do anything you asked of me."

She giggled, light-hearted and full of joy, the seriousness of the last few minutes draining away as she took in his smile.

"I won't ask you to do anything, only I am getting rather peckish, we should eat."

He nodded stoically. "We really should eat, there's only one problem."

"Which is?"

"It means leaving this room and I'm not at all sure I'm willing to let go of you just yet."

"Oh dear, well then somehow we'll have to manoeuvre downstairs together."

"Deal."

"Deal, what would you like to eat?"

"I promised I'd make breakfast."

"But it's well past breakfast."

"Ahh, then I shall make lunch, and you can stand in the corner looking beautiful and watch me."

"My, what a romantic you are, and will you be making lunch dressed as you are?" She indicated his naked appearance.

"Perhaps, that depends what you will be wearing."

She laughed and kissed him one last time before climbing off of the bed; he lay back and watched as she crossed the bedroom and collected the pieces of clothing from the floor depositing them on the chair near her dressing table.

"I love that you feel you can walk around in front of me completely naked."

"Is there a reason that I shouldn't be?"

He sat up and moved across the bed, dropping his feet to the floor as she pulled her dressing gown on.

"Not one, I love it."

"Good, now come, I need lunch sir."

She moved to leave but he caught her hand. "Clarisse, thank you, for sharing all those things with me."

Moving into his body she leant against him, her hands resting on his shoulders as she kissed his forehead. "Thank you for listening."

* * *

_Well things seem to be moving on nicely at the moment don't they... there is an uncut version of this available on my CJ site ifyou fancy taking a look.Please leave me a little message. Thanks x Rhonda_


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer:** Don't own these characters & certainly make no money from them, unfortunately!

**Fallen**

**_part 20_**

Clarisse paused at the top of the cliff path looking behind her momentarily she saw Joseph a few steps behind, he had stopped to take in the view. Removing her sunglasses she gazed down at the sea below, cool and still in the early Saturday sunlight. Closing her eyes she lifted her face to the warmth, feeling it travel down her neck, along her bare arms and seeping through the light dress she wore.

"Clarisse." He called to her and she turned her face towards him. "Smile for me dear."

Shaking her head she offered him a half-hearted smile, she knew she shouldn't have found her camera out.

"Are you coming or not?" She snapped as he took another picture.

He was laughing as he approached her. "I'm here aren't I, bossy madam."

"But too slow sir." She kissed him quickly. "Put the camera away we have to climb down, it's steep in places."

He glanced down the path they were supposed to be attempting. "Goodness, why are we doing this again?"

"Because it's a hot Saturday which means the beaches will be heaving, nobody ever comes here."

"For good reason, it looks dangerous."

"Are you backing out?" She faced him with her hands on her hips.

"Never, you look far more dangerous than the cliff, let's go!" He snapped his heels together and she swatted at him with her bag.

"Would you like me to carry that for you?" He asked putting the camera away.

"You already have plenty to carry, I'll be fine, let's go."

"They hardly look like sensible shoes for this path."

"They aren't…" she slipped her sandals off. "Which is why I'm going barefoot, its only sand."

She started off down the path before he even had the opportunity to object. He followed quickly to catch up.

"I'm beginning to think you are a slave driver."

"I am." She replied over her shoulder. "But I think you like it."

"Secretly perhaps I do, but I would never openly admit it."

"Ha! I do believe you just did, in fact I think… oh, woah…"

Joseph roughly grabbed hold of Clarisse's arm as she slipped and stumbled landing heavily on her backside.

"Oh bloody hell."

"Are you hurt?" Joseph dropped his bag and knelt down behind her. "Did you hurt your ankle?"

"No I'm fine, although I believe I may have bruised my derriere."

Joseph laughed and kissed the top of her head. "I'll rub it better for you later."

"An offer like that makes it almost worth falling over." Shakily she got to her feet, Joseph's hands holding her arms as he helped. "Ouch, oh dear, I really should be more careful. Don't talk to me whilst I'm trying to be careful."

"Okay I'll be silent until we reach the bottom."

Climbing down a little more cautiously it took a good fifteen minutes for them to reach the bottom of the small windy path. Clarisse stopped and glanced down over the rather awkward looking boulder that barred her last few steps.

"Are we there? May I speak?" Joseph asked leaning his chin on her shoulder.

"You may."

"Hang on a second." He took the bag from her shoulder and the one that hung on his back and dropped them to the beach.

Clarisse watched as he jumped down and then turned back to her holding his arms to her.

"How very caveman." She quipped as he reached up and took hold of her waist swinging her down to the sand.

"Caveman indeed," he kicked his shoes off. "Wonderful little spot this by the way darling."

"Don't start the darling business again." She picked her bag up and strode off across the beach. "I told you this was a wonderful secluded cove area, we can sunbathe here uninterrupted."

She glanced back over her shoulder. "Are you coming? What? Oh don't look at me like that…" dropping her bag she went back to him. "Call me dear, love, the most sexy lady you've ever seen, not darling… it makes me feel old."

"And I wouldn't want to do that… to the most sexy…" he kissed her nose. "Bossy, confusing, irritating, funny, wonderful lady I've ever known."

She threw her arms around his neck. "Oh darling you're so very romantic."

"Stop it, you're making me feel old." He quickly slid his hands down her body and before she'd had time to register the movement he'd hoisted her up into his arms and was carrying her to the shore edge.

"Where are you taking me?" She demanded tickling his beard.

"For a splash."

"A splash?" She smiled then screamed alarmed as she realised he was wading into the water. "Joseph, you're fully dressed."

"But the water feels good my dear."

"Don't you dare drop me, Joseph…" she tightened her grip on his neck. "Don't you dare."

"I won't, I won't." The water was above his knees now and he stopped, digging his toes into the warm wet sand beneath his feet. "Look at the view Clarisse. Look how alone we are."

She glanced up and, shielding her eyes, looked out across the ocean. "Hmm, it is beautiful. But if you allow me to change I will swim out here."

"Alright, back to shore." He turned and started back. "Spoil sport at times you know."

"We'll see… ahh, Joseph…."

She screamed as he stumbled on the uneven surface, his knees buckled beneath him and they both went crashing into the water.

Joseph sat up immediately, knees bent, hands resting atop of them chuckling uncontrollably. Clarisse jumped to her feet spluttering and shaking herself violently.

"My dress, ruined my dress." She cursed. "Don't laugh, it's not funny."

"Are you kidding, this is the most fun I've had in years, since my sons were young."

She splashed his face. "I told you to let me change before I swam."

"I hardly planned it… come here."

He held out his hand to her.

"No, I'm angry with you."

"No you aren't, not really, come here." He beckoned again and again she splashed him.

Moving forward slightly he caught her wrist, she was still splashing him with her free hand but giggling now as she did so. Laughing together Clarisse almost fell down on top of him, their mouths meeting softly.

"You taste of salt." Clarisse whispered. "Come, let's undress and swim."

"You're no longer angry?"

"Our clothes will dry on the rocks in the sun."

She pushed herself up using his arms then helped him to his feet; hand in hand they waded out of the water and across the sand.

* * *

Clarisse leant over Joseph's body, tiny droplets of seawater were running down his chest and she traced the pattern of one with her finger. His hand reached out and held the one that touched him and she smiled as their fingers folded together.

Reaching to the cool bag she pulled out a small tub and opened it up lifting a strawberry to Joseph's mouth. His eyes were closed and she teased him running the soft fruit along his lips, he snapped his teeth together and finally she relented and fed it to him.

"Mmm, that's good."

"More?"

He nodded and she moved the tub, resting it on his chest as she continued to feed the both of them.

"This could very well be perfection Clarisse." He said between bites. "Lying here on a blanket on a beach on a hot afternoon. With you."

"Private and secluded." She smiled kissing him briefly before giving him another strawberry. "Would you like something else to eat?"

"What do we have?"

"Lots, sandwiches, yoghurt, more fruit, cheesy snack cracker things."

Joseph laughed. "They sound good."

Clarisse hoisted herself up from his chest and sat back on the blanket, Joseph glanced up at her, at the way she held her head back to the sun's rays. Stray drops of moisture were sliding down her stomach from her bikini top as it dried.

Sitting up he moved closer to her, resting a hand on her leg as the other reached to stroke her hair.

"That's an awfully nice outfit you have there madam."

Her mouth twisted into a coy smile as she returned to a normal sitting position.

"I'm glad you approve, you know I wouldn't dare wear something like this on the main beach, thank goodness for seclusion. But black is my colour."

"Any colour is your colour." He brought his mouth to hers, she tasted of sweet strawberries, summer.

Clarisse wound her hand around his neck and slowly lay back bringing him down on top of her, she felt him pull back slightly and heard his smile but she kept her eyes closed. He kissed her again briefly and pulled back, she moaned her impatience.

"If we carry on kissing like this I'll get carried away." He whispered against her mouth.

"Then get carried away." She responded kissing him slowly and sensually, her tongue playfully teasing his mouth.

"You're dangerous." He said throatily.

"No, you are." She replied her nail gently scratching down his back.

Their mouths met again, Joseph groaned as she lifted her knee between his legs, she felt so good in his arms, smelt so good, tasted so good. His heart was already thudding uncontrollably, how could it be that he was even considering making love to her there and then, in the open air, in the middle of the day? He'd never been so reckless.

Clarisse parted her legs so that he instinctively moved between them. She murmured something next to his ear, he couldn't make out her words but the feel of her breath on his skin was enough to send shivers across his body. He moved his mouth to suckle on her neck.

In a second her manner had changed, she stiffened beneath him, her hands resting heavily on his shoulders.

"Joseph… Joseph, stop, I can hear somebody."

He looked up at her annoyed.

"Somebody's coming down." She whispered pushing him to sit up.

He sat back reaching for one of the bottles of water she had brought and drank deeply as he gazed up the cliff path, he couldn't see anybody yet but there were definite voices.

Clarisse grabbed her sarong and wrapped it around the lower half of her body, Joseph wished he could do the same.

"I think I should go for a swim." He said leaning forward and kissing her nose. "Put some cream on your nose, it's getting red."

She touched it momentarily as she watched him retreat towards the water, then reached into one of the bags searching for the sunscreen.

She replaced her sunglasses and opened up the cool bag taking out the food and arranging it for dinner.

Hearing a light giggling behind her she looked up toward the path, a little girl came bounding down and screeched to a halt when she spotted the large boulder blocking her way.

"Daddy!" She shouted back up the path.

Clarisse had to admit she was rather cute, blonde ringlets, a little pink summer dress, although her knees were rather dirty.

A tall gentleman who swung her up onto his back and jumped down to the beach soon joined her; a woman brought up the rear and clambered down behind them.

They spotted Clarisse and rather grudgingly she raised her hand and waved to them.

"Afternoon."

"Ah, hello, we're invading your solitude." The gentleman said as he walked towards her, the little girl bobbing about on his back.

"It's fine. Such a beautiful spot."

"Oh absolutely." The lady said. "We thought it would suit both our girls tastes."

"Both?" Clarisse raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Yes, Rachel is on her way down, slowly." The woman shrugged. "Becca here likes to play."

"Put me down daddy." The little girl squirmed down her father's back and stood politely in front of Clarisse, who felt rather odd sitting there in her bikini.

Removing her glasses Clarisse smiled. "Well hello there."

"Hello." She stuck her hand out oddly. "I'm Rebecca."

Biting back a smile Clarisse shook the little girl's hand. "It's very nice to meet you Rebecca, I'm Clarisse."

"It's vewy nice to meet you."

Laughing she watched as the girl ran across the beach, her parents made their excuses and followed her selecting a spot a little way around the cove area.

Clarisse looked down to the water edge and stood as Joseph waded out, waved to the family, and then proceeded to walk towards her.

A figure on the hill caught her eye and she glanced sideways at the young brunette who was scrambling across the rocks.

"Oh steady there young lady, you'll hurt yourself." Joseph took the girl's bag from her and laid it on the sand along with the book she had been reading. "Now let me help."

The girl rather awkwardly accepted his gesture and allowed him to lift her down to the beach, she couldn't have been more than fourteen. Her long hair was braided and she wore a baseball cap protecting her head, she held onto it as Joseph landed her feet safely.

"There we go, nicely done."

"Thank you." The girl stuttered, if Clarisse wasn't mistaken she would say that a pink blush had begun to creep onto her cheeks. "Thank you very much…" She collected her things and headed towards her parents.

Joseph sank down onto the blanket next to Clarisse.

"Feeling better?" She quipped over her shoulder.

"Yes, you tease." He picked up one of the small plastic boxes containing sandwiches and peeled the lid back. "Would you like one?"

Clarisse selected a sandwich and smiled warmly at him. "I think you've made a fan there."

He swallowed the sandwich. "Where?"

"Over there, Rachel I believe, you made her blush."

"Did I behave inappropriately?"

"Not at all, but I don't think she's ever had a handsome man, other than her father, swoop her up into his arms before."

"Ahh, not used to girls, with Pierre and Philippe it was all play fights and rough and tumble. Polo as they got older, tough game, got hit on more than one occasion, had bruises for months."

"Poor dear, I've never played, though I must admit I enjoyed watching a match or two… all those firm backsides in tight trousers."

"Who would believe somebody with as pure a face as you could behave so naughtily." He leaned forward to her, smiling at her serene expression. "Hmmm, Clarisse is a bad girl."

"Very bad." Their lips met once hesitantly, then she held onto his arm and kissed him fully, no longer caring who shared their beach.

* * *

_I've been watching them; the couple on the beach, at first I thought they were married but neither has a wedding ring. He can't be English, she might be, but he has such a wonderful warm lilt to his voice. We've only been to Spain once and I was only 11 but I think that's what it is, Spanish._

_They seem too old to not be married, kissing on a beach in public and not married. How romantic. And he has such strong arms; I can still feel his wet skin sticking to me as he lifted me down. He's lovely. Earlier I saw him dip a strawberry into his yoghurt and then feed it to her, I was pretending to read my book and I saw it, if I wear my sunglasses they don't know where I'm looking._

_She is very pretty though, I wonder how old she is? Older than mummy, and different to her too, more curvy, my Mum tends to be straight up and down which makes me angry because I've noticed that my breasts are larger than most of the other girls at school. This lady, Clarisse I heard him call her, Clarisse, Clarisse… I might use that in something I write, it's a great name, I've never heard it before. Ohhh, they're moving……_

_

* * *

_

_AHHHH you will not believe it, Becca and Daddy were splashing about like idiots in the water and Joseph took hold of Clarisse's hand and pulled her down to the water too. They swam for a while, playing about I think, he was holding her really close at one point and he kissed her again, I think she was embarrassed because she tried to pull away but he held her and then… then he lifted her up and swung her around! She was screaming and my Mum started to laugh. I couldn't stop watching them then, it was like some book, better than the book I'm reading. _

They were splashing and playing about for ages, they look too old for that! He kept swimming after her and she was trying to trip him up in the water I think because he was stumbling about and she kept on laughing. They swam off out of sight after a while, around _the rocks, I wanted to climb over the top and look for them but I knew Mum would notice so I returned to reading my book._

_Well they were only gone for about ten minutes then they swam back towards the beach, Joseph threw Becca's ball back to her in the water and for a while he and Clarisse stood holding each other… she had her back to him and his arms were around her waist, his chin resting on her shoulder. They look happy together._

_OUCH! Becca's ball hit me in the head._

* * *

"Come play moody pants." The little girl squealed running up the beach and grabbing her sister's hand.

Clarisse glanced backwards momentarily and smiled as the two sisters waded into the water and climbed up onto the rocks.

"They're having fun." She whispered, the waves were high now, the water lapping around her waist, Joseph's strong arms holding her tight.

"So am I." He kissed her cheek. "This has been such a wonderful day."

"It has, my skin will not be forgiving tomorrow though, an entire day in the ocean, all that salty water and then the sun."

"I know." He kissed her cheek again. "I'll massage you with oils."

"You will?"

He nodded, holding her even tighter.

"The sun is shifting." She said gently. "We should start back home, it's a fairly long walk."

"I know, I don't want to leave though, so lovely here, I love the ocean."

She turned in his arms, resting her hands on his shoulders. "I know, you told me." She kissed him lightly. "I'm glad you've enjoyed it here."

"It's been wonderful."

"It has… I didn't even mind our guests."

"Me neither."

She traced her fingers over his beard, gazing over his shoulder back up the beach, at the shadows cast over the sand, at the water as it slowly began to work its way further up towards their belongings.

"What are dreaming about?" He asked kissing her forehead.

"Hmmm…"

"You have a dreamy expression on your face."

"Do I?" She smiled knowingly.

"What is it?" He tilted his head to the side watching her expression change.

Clarisse lifted her mouth to his ear, closing her eyes and whispering deeply. "I'm imagining you inside of me."

Joseph swallowed slowly. And again. "Well then," he coughed, "Perhaps we should start for home."

Clarisse laughed. "Yes I think so. Come on, I'll race you to shore."

* * *

_Well i hope you enjoyed that little summery escape - please leave me a review Thanks x R_


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer**: Don't own anything, don't sue me!

**Author's Note**: If you recall our lovely couple had just spent the day at the Beach - this chapter is very much stripped down on here so if you would like to read to full, uncut version either visit my CJ website or email me & i shall send you the chapter.

**Fallen - part 21**

Clarisse fumbled in her bag for the key, suddenly it felt as if she'd received a new dose of energy and she almost raced across the field towards her house. Joseph followed somewhat slower behind, he'd teased her for most of the walk home about having to shield her with a towel whilst she changed on the beach. She in turn had mocked him about the teenage crush that had developed.

Now he was exhausted, the walk home in the increasingly hot afternoon sun had worn him out. Clarisse meanwhile appeared to have found a new lease of life.

Crossing the garden he wearily sighed as he entered the kitchen and dropped his bags to the floor.

"Thank god, I was beginning to think I wouldn't make it."

"Here you go." Clarisse handed him a cool glass of water. "Old man."

He sat and watched as she emptied the bags, putting the towels and blankets to wash, emptying the cool bag of any uneaten food. She then opened the cupboard and took out two glasses and stood them on the side, from the fridge she took a bottle of white wine and effortlessly uncorked it.

"Won't be a second." She said as she exited the room.

He listened to her climb the stairs two at a time, within in a few minutes he heard her make her way back down and he stood and crossed the room placing his now empty glass on the side.

She was humming as she closed and locked the back door.

"Excuse me." She said gently as she stood on her tiptoes to reach the blind on the kitchen window.

"What are you doing? It's 4:30 in the afternoon."

"And I don't want any interruptions." Clarisse said pulling the blind down. "Now, Joseph…"

Smiling seductively she spread her hands out over his chest. "I know you're tired from the walk. So close your eyes…"

"Clarisse?"

"Just do it."

Sighing he closed his eyes, arms folded in front of him.

She moved around the back of him resting her hands on his shoulders, rubbing his muscles. Her mouth kissed his earlobe and she whispered.

"Imagine we're back in the ocean, alone, it's warm and heady, your body pressed into mine."

"Mmm…"

She smiled and trailed her hands along his arms then down his sides until she reached the bottom of his t-shirt. He unfolded his arms and allowed her to lift it off.

Discarding the t-shirt on the floor Clarisse moved around to the front of him, blowing cool air onto his chest.

"And you're utterly relaxed, you want to lie back and float away."

"Clarisse." He breathed her name as she licked his neck. God she was good.

"Are you relaxed?"

"Yes… I guess."

She laughed, her hands reaching down to the tie on his trousers. Opening it she heard his sharp intake of breath, his hand rest on her shoulder.

She paused and stood back looking at him, his eyes were still closed, his mouth slightly open as he tried to control his breathing. Taking hold of his hands she placed them on her body, one on her waist, the other on her breast. Now he opened his eyes.

She said nothing, stepped forward and kissed him, her tongue drawing lazy patterns on the inside of his mouth.

"What have I done to deserve you?" He said huskily rubbing her body through her dress.

Arching against him she bit her lip smiling and throwing her head back. He kissed her neck, suckled on the skin at the base.

"You smell of the ocean." He whispered.

The feel of him touching her was divine, the friction of the material of her dress rubbing her skin delicious.

She moaned out loud and grabbed his hands forcefully. "Let's not waste a second."

He didn't argue!

Following her upstairs he insisted on nuzzling her neck as they climbed the stairs, his hands firmly placed on her backside.

* * *

Now, now her body was totally his. He could have done anything with her, moulded her into any shape, all she wanted was more of the utter delight, the utter joy of having him inside her and making love to her the way he was. The way they made love together. 

He was still holding her tightly, kissing her shoulder, over her collarbone. She kissed his head, held onto him, shifting on his lap as she stretched her legs out.

"Have I earned your kiss yet?" His voice was husky, heavy with desire.

Finding no words would form she giggled, finally pulling back to look at his handsome face. She stroked his beard and over his mouth.

"I think so." She mouthed.

"Good." He reached up to touch her face. "You're all flushed."

"I'm all completely horny!" She smiled devilishly. "This feels so good." Gently she kissed his mouth. "So good."

"It feels so right." He replied folding his hands with hers.

"I don't want it to end."

"Me neither." He murmured, it suddenly dawned on him that this couldn't last forever… she meant making love, he meant being together, in less than four days he would have to leave her.

"Joseph." She mumbled kissing him.

Her nails in the back of his neck broke his reverie and he opened his eyes to look at her. He stroked her swollen lips.

"So very beautiful."

"Right now I feel incredibly sexy."

"Oh that too. All the time. From the moment I saw you."

"Naughty man." Pushing him down onto the bed she laid full length on top of him. "I always thought that King's would have terrible dirty minds, always fantasising about the maids and what they wore beneath those smart little dresses."

"Now they are your fantasies not mine… I think you'll find I fantasised about what a certain housekeeper was wearing."

"And now you know."

"A-ha."

"And your fantasies?"

"Oh they keep being fulfilled, over and over again."

"Mmm…" She kissed him hotly, licking his tongue with hers. "I want to feel you over and over again."

"You're a demanding madam."

"You better get used to it. Sir."

"Right." He lifted her up and twisted her over, tickling her waist as he did so. She was laughing and giggling as he devoured her chest, licking beneath the curve of her breasts, down over her stomach.

Sitting back Joseph leant down over her and licked her stomach, teasing her belly button with his tongue.

"That tickles." She reached for him and he sucked on her fingers.

"Joseph, Joseph…" She writhed beneath him. Lifting her foot to rest on his chest and push him back.

Her other foot joined the first one and he held her ankles.

"You want me to suck your toes?" He asked, a hint of laughter in his voice.

"Do you want to?"

"Do you want me too?"

She laughed and shook her head. "I asked you what you wanted first."

"You did."

"So tell me what you want."

He breathed deeply and kissed the tips of her toes. "You already know… I think you've known from the beginning."

Pulling her legs back she rested her feet on the bed again, her knees bent and now resting against his chest instead.

"I'm not sure where this is going." She said gently. "And right now I don't want to think further than today, this evening, the next hour…"

He nodded. "Probably a wise decision."

His hands rested on her knees and he bent to kiss each one, if she'd have asked him she was convinced he would have kissed every inch of her body without her doing anything in return for him.

Slowly she parted her legs and he moved between them, lying above her, supporting himself on his elbows he kissed her face, her forehead, cheeks, mouth, nose, eyelids, murmuring gentle words of love as he did so.

* * *

Breathless and sated they collapsed on the bed, twisting onto their sides. Joseph was absently kissing Clarisse's head as she sleepily reached down the bed and found the sheets pulling them up over their bodies. She wrapped her arms around his waist, rested her head upon his chest, he was still kissing her, breathing her name. 

One of her legs slid between his and his arms held her tightly against him as they both drifted to sleep, cradling the other close.

* * *

"Mmm…" Clarisse grumbled as something tickled her nose, she swatted at it and turned her head. 

It moved and was tickling her throat, some damn fly. Again she hit it away and instead turned onto her side. She wasn't quite willing to wake just yet.

Something wet touched her shoulder and she shivered at it, it was moving down her arm, lightly nipping her skin now. Somebody warm behind her, a body touching hers, a hand reaching over to her stomach and squeezing it very gently.

Joseph.

She inhaled his scent, waking slowly, twisting onto her back, her mouth blindly seeking his as her hands reached to hold him.

He kissed her softly, tormenting her lips with his own. Grumbling she lazily opened her eyes, blinking at the dim light coming from the lamp.

He was stroking her hair, kissing her face every so often as she stretched beneath him.

"Hello beautiful."

Despite herself she felt the smile creeping onto her face. "Hello." She said groggily. "What time is it?"

"Almost eight, you were talking in your sleep."

"Really? What did I say?"

"I'm not sure, you were mumbling. A dream perhaps?"

"Possibly, I wasn't aware I did that. Did I wake you?"

He shook his head, gazing down at her, a warm light smile on his handsome face. "I was already awake."

She folded her fingers with his, closing her eyes again. "Did you sleep at all?"

"A little. Would you like some dinner?"

"Mmm, I don't have the energy to move." She turned onto her side lifting her arm up around his shoulders. "Somebody sapped all my energy earlier, and now I feel rather divinely lethargic."

He was still kissing her face, stroking her bare back; so many things he wanted to say, thoughts he'd entertained for the last couple of hours, how enraptured he was, how in love, how those words didn't even come close to what he felt.

All his deepest desires and dreams and hopes and fears were now here, she held them all, fuelled them all. All he wanted to communicate with her yet dare not; she didn't wish to hear it. He'd seen it in her eyes when they were making love, when he was tickling her feet and he'd said the 'L' word again.

"Joseph…" she whispered. "You're dreaming about something."

He smiled tenderly at her. "No, just…" he shrugged. "Feeling good."

"Well I should think so. Now, didn't you say something about making me dinner?"

"I did. I'll go start raiding your fridge."

"Should I come down?" She asked stretching on her back and watching him put his robe on.

"Give me about fifteen minutes to make myself look competent, then feel free."

"Okay." She closed her eyes and pulled the covers up around her body.

Joseph stood by the door momentarily watching her. "Hey," he whispered. "Don't fall to sleep again."

"I won't." She mumbled. "Don't forget the wine, it will be warm."

He eyed the bottle still standing by the side of the bed, they never had gotten round to drinking it. Ah well, perhaps it was still salvageable.

* * *

They ate in the lounge, bowls of pasta with a white wine sauce. Clarisse had chided him to begin with for using it as base for the sauce but even she had to admit it was quite excellent and she'd quickly forgiven him as they'd sat cross-legged watching a late night film. 

"For a public school boy you're not a bad cook." She'd whispered nudging his arm.

They lay wrapped tightly together on the couch, Clarisse in front of him, a cushion beneath her head.

"I'll let you into a secret," he whispered in return. "I took home economics for two terms."

"You did? How wonderful."

"It was, until Father found out and changed my subjects. You see being able to put a decent meal together wasn't deemed as important as history or politics."

She shrugged. "It depends on what you want to do with your life, what's important to one might not be important to another."

"I whole-heartedly agree, and I said so at the time. My rebellious period. But as always he won, and the cooking was dropped. I hated him at the time, I understand it now."

"How so?" She twisted her neck to look at him.

"I would do the same, being a chef isn't my job."

"Being head of a country is." She said solemnly.

"Exactly. It was a waste of my time, it certainly hasn't been called upon over the years."

"It has been this evening."

"True." He squeezed her waist. "But these are circumstances I never thought I'd find myself in."

"You've always done what's right haven't you? I mean, for your country, put it first, before yourself."

He said nothing but kissed the top of her head. "For the past two weeks the only thing I've put first is you."

She accepted his gentle kiss then turned over focusing her attention back on the film.

* * *

_Well, everything seems to be going well... Please, Please, PLEASE leave me a review - i seem to be getting less & less reviews on here which is rather saddening:-( xxx R_


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer**: own none of the characters, make no money, etc etc...

**Author's Notes**: A speedy update i know but i'm back to work in a couple of days & i thought i might aswell do this now whilst i still have the time! Some people might recall that i said a while ago this story was split into sections - Section 1 was up to where Clairsse left the Palace, well this is obviously Section 2 and we are rapidly approaching the end of it. It's a long story i know, please bear with it... if for any wonderful reason you'd like to revisit earlier chapters & remind yourself of what has taken place please visit my website, not only do you get the story but CJ pics to accompany it - now who can resist looking at pictures of Joe hmm:-)

* * *

**Fallen** _chapter 22_

Sunday, and as Clarisse expected Rose rang her bright and early. In fact she was still a little drowsy even after consuming mug after mug of coffee when she accepted the telephone call.

Joseph was up bright and early before her and out in the garden happily watering her flowers, she watched him through the lounge windows as she spoke to Rose.

"Lunch? Yes, well I suppose we could. Hmm… who else is coming?"

She listened to Rose fill her in on the latest village developments and secretly wondered what the gossips would make of her relationship with Joseph.

He had moved out of her eye line now, around the side of the house to the plants that grew in pots.

"Yes Rose, I know, such scandal!" She laughed lightly. "But who will be there today?"

She never heard Joseph creep up behind, his arms wrapped around her waist and he kissed her cheek. "Good morning." He whispered.

She covered the mouthpiece and twisted her head to his mouthing "morning" before kissing him.

He swayed her body against his as she returned to the phone. "Just family, that's fine, I'm sure we will be there. Oh… yes, he's fine."

She felt Joseph smile against her neck.

"We'll be there, a couple of hours, I need to change. Okay dear, bye."

She placed the phone on the table and turned in his arms.

"Just fine?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

"Now how did you know I was referring to you, I could have been talking about any nice young man."

"I'd have him hung for even looking at you."

"Joseph!" She chided but when she caught sight of his amused expression she allowed herself a smile. "I should go take a shower and dress."

"I take it we're going out."

"Rose has invited us for lunch, something about wanting to make the most of this weather whilst we have it. A barbecue."

"Wow, haven't done that for years, Bella used to enjoy…" he shrugged. "Well I'll get dressed, just go and empty the coffee away, unless you want some more?"

"Oh please no more, I'm high on caffeine."

She watched him head into the kitchen and for the tiniest of moments it suddenly struck her how insane this entire thing was. What the hell was he doing in her kitchen cleaning her coffee pot? He could have anything he wanted, anybody he wanted; yet he was indulging her with small-scale family activities.

Her eyes clouded for a second at the thought but she quickly brushed them with the back of her hand and headed upstairs for a shower.

* * *

"I so beat you!" Clarisse exclaimed throwing her bat down to the floor.

"You hate to lose!" He laughed. "Don't you, you just hate it!"

"Especially when I didn't lose… Joseph…" she called shielding her eyes from the sun and glancing across the garden.

"Yes." He responded weakly, already aware of what was coming.

"Joseph you watched the game, did I lose?"

"You played exceptionally well… by far the best amateur Badminton match I've ever had the privilege to witness."

"Ohh you're no help, you're too political, always striking a balance."

She turned around at the sound of the younger man's laughter.

"And you can be quiet."

"Aunt Clarisse is a sore loser."

"I'll give you loser." She threw the shuttlecock at him. "You should show more respect for your elders."

"Are we going to eat?" Rose shouted. "Or are the two of you going to argue all day?"

"We'll eat Mum, I'll go rinse my hands." David said.

Clarisse wandered across to the table where Joseph sat.

"Surely you're really not a bad loser." He whispered, Rose and Martin stood a little way across the garden, Rose fussing over whether or not Martin had cooked the chicken correctly.

"No, not really, but it's fun to tease him. And besides… I won."

He laughed and reached for her body, his hands resting on her hips. She pulled herself away.

"Don't… not here."

She sat down across from him and caught the hurt in his eyes. "No… I didn't mean it, Joseph… come on, they don't know we've gone that… little bit further, I'd prefer it if they didn't."

"Why?"

"Because…" she was about to answer when she spotted Rose heading towards them. "Please, just for today."

He shrugged and adopted a smile as Rose sat next to him.

"He's burnt that chicken I'm sure… more Wine Joseph?"

"Why not, Clarisse is driving." He lifted his glass and accepted the refill.

"So…" Clarisse said quickly trying to alter the sudden dark mood. "Tell me why we only have one sibling here today?"

"Oh too last minute, you know how it is, they'd already made plans. Children honestly, are yours like that Joseph, always doing something, always too busy to talk to you?"

He swallowed his wine awkwardly. "Yes, mostly… if I'm honest I'm just as bad, I should make more time for some things. Much more time."

Clarisse held his stare then dropped her head to the side and began to help herself to salad.

"How much longer are you on vacation?" Rose suddenly asked covering the silence.

"Rose!" Clarisse snapped.

"No it's a fair question…" Joseph responded. "I have to leave soon, a couple more days at the most." He looked to Clarisse for some kind of response but she showed not one ounce of emotion.

"But I've enjoyed it, lovely part of the world." He smiled weakly at Rose. "Thank you so much for all your hospitality, you've been very welcoming."

"Oh but you're most welcome, I hope that this won't be the last I see of you." She gently nudged Clarisse's foot with hers beneath the table but her sister chose to ignore this also. "We all hope we see you again."

"So do I… very much so."

* * *

They were silent on the drive home; it was already early evening and the sun had just about set. Clarisse took another root home and pulled off of the road onto a gravely sidetrack. Stopping the car she switched the engine off and turned to face him.

"What's wrong?" he said weakly.

"You want to talk about this, fine, let's talk about it now. I can't bear another twenty-minutes drive in stony silence."

"I thought the day went well, I enjoyed it… mostly."

Clarisse remembered the look of despair on his face when she'd pushed him away, remembered the half-hearted tone of joviality when they'd played board games in the late afternoon sun.

"You want to know why I don't want them to know about us."

"Us? Is there an us Clarisse, I wonder."

"You know exactly what I mean, at the moment we are just friends to them."

"And?"

"Don't you see when you leave it will be bad enough for me, I will feel awful because of how things have turned out, because of where we're heading with this. If they knew, God if Rose knew we were lovers then she would be there, fussing over me, telling me there's a way to sort it all out."

"Perhaps there is."

"There isn't, you will go home, I will return to normal. That's the end. It isn't pleasant and it won't be easy but we both went into this with our eyes open, we have nobody else to blame. And I don't want to drag anyone else into it, it's between us, just us."

For a moment he mulled on her words, he so wanted to find the answer, to hand her everything on a plate right there and then, perfectly organised and in place. But it his heart he knew she was right.

He nodded, slowly, then reached for her hand and kissed it.

"Your general knowledge is excellent by the way." She smiled.

"Well…" he coughed lightly. "Didn't want to let our team down."

She moved closer to him. "The sun is setting." She whispered. "I said you'd see it before you left."

Finally he lifted his head and looked towards the view, she had brought him back to the ocean, the sun setting in the distance, all orange and red colliding into the depths of the sea.

"It won't be much longer, another twenty minutes." She said gently leaning against his arm.

"Thank you."

"You're very welcome… I thought I'd take a bath when we got home."

"Right."

"Would you care to rub my feet?"

* * *

The room was scented and cloudy, the air itself heavy with perfume and heat. It seemed to settle around Joseph as he laid back, the water like silk caressing his skin, his eyes wouldn't even take the time to open and gaze around. All was still, wonderfully still and wonderfully languid.

Nothing could have roused him from that moment of perfection, at ease, enraptured by pure comfort. Each sense listlessly noted how it was being touched, warmed and spoilt.

Somewhere in the midst of his reverie he was aware of Clarisse moving her head a little, from his left shoulder to his right. Lazily lifting his hand from the water he stroked the top of her head and dropped a kiss to her cheek. She murmured something endearingly sweet and he smiled slightly, his hand slipping back into the water.

His fingers moved over her stomach until he found her hand lying there and he wrapped his fingers with hers.

There was a barely audible click from the bedroom as the CD changed and loaded a new. Settling his head back and breathing slowly Joseph closed his mind off to everything but the feel of having this woman in his arms and the sound of the tender music as it strummed into the room.

"_I won't spend my life waiting for an angel to descend, searching for a rainbow with an end. Now that I've found you I'll call off the search."_

Clarisse was stroking his hand with hers, she lifted his hand out of the water and he opened his eyes to observe her.

She turned his hand over, tickled the lines on his palm with her index finger, stroked his wrist until he shivered at the sensation. Before bringing his palm to her lips and kissing it.

He had removed the bulky signet ring some days ago before they ventured down to the beach and now he had to admit to himself he preferred it without. She was about to replace his hand in the water but instead he held hers, and affectionately traced the outline of each finger before bringing it to his mouth and kissing her palm, her wrist and her fingertips.

She smiled and twisted her head a little to look at him.

"You have beautiful hands…" he whispered sinking deeper into the water. "But then I think you have beautiful everything."

"That's because you're an old fool."

"Excuse me madam but I do believe you are older than me."

"Ohh but I don't act it." She held his hands and directed his arms around her waist until he held her tight.

"You don't?" He kissed her nose.

"No, never." She kissed him back, just a tiny teasing touch of her lips.

He smiled warmly and moved forward kissing her again; they exchanged small quick kisses until both were laughing.

"That's how we used to kiss when we were at School. When we didn't know how to do it properly."

"And now you know how to do it properly?"

She dropped her hand to the back of his neck stroking his skin with her thumb, half twisted over in the water as she leant on top of him.

"Oh I think so."

"Show me, prove your point."

She chuckled but leant forward anyway and kissed him slowly, using her tongue to tease his mouth open and gently pour every ounce of emotion into that one kiss.

"Well…" he breathed deeply. "That certainly was good…"

"I told you, kissing properly is something that can only be taught with age and experience, children cannot master it. They don't have the depth."

"Is that a clinical observation?"

"Of course, now lay back and listen to the music and be quiet."

"Hey I was being quiet, you were the one who started fussing with my hand."

"Fussing?" She slapped the water until it splashed in his face."

"Ahh, you little menace."

"Menace?" Again she splashed him jerking forward as he caught her and attempted to cover her face with bubbles. "Joseph!"

"You started it, no backing out now." He sat forward reaching for her body and attempting to pull her back to him.

Laughing and spluttering Clarisse threw her head back as Joseph tossed another handful of bubbles across the bathtub to her, she submerged her head in the water before rising back up again and rubbing her face.

"You are quite insane." Joseph smiled. "Come here."

"I'm in insane, you are the one who has covered my bathroom floor with bubbles. I might slip later and break my neck and it will all be your fault." She slid through the water to his open arms resting against his chest.

"Oh don't say things like that my love…" He kissed her forehead, "My love."

Smiling tenderly she nuzzled his chin, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

"Do you think we're getting too old for bathing together?" He whispered as she kissed his chest.

"Not at all, why do you feel we are?"

"I certainly hope not, I have quite a wonderful view from here." He playfully slapped her backside.

"Hey, if you keep moving about we shall lose all the water."

"You mean if I rock about like this…" he moved them from side to side and she bit down on her lip as she watched the joyful expression cross over his features. "What if I rock more vigorously?"

"I'd tell you to calm down, I shan't be making love to you in the bath rub, no matter how sweet and heady the moment might be." She breathed deeply rubbing his shoulders. "In fact I think I've rather exhausted myself this week."

"Really?" His voice was oddly amused.

"Yes, I feel, well, a little… " She leant closer to him and whispered in his ear. "Sore."

Joseph couldn't help but chuckle.

"It's not funny."

"No, not that, why whisper, who else was going to hear?"

"I don't know I just felt awkward saying it to you."

"Why, it's not as if I don't understand the whys and wherefores dear."

"I know…" she stroked his chest absently. "But still, you are you…" Smiling she shook her head. "It is my own fault, you play you pay…"

Again he laughed. "Why I shall have to remember that line, it's rather good, perhaps I could work it into some speech somehow."

"Don't you dare! I will know of what you're referring to."

He held her tight against him caressing the curve of her back with his fingertips. "Of you over indulging and forcing me to conduct unspeakable acts of passion on the kitchen table."

"Forcing? I hardly think I had to twist your arm…"

Again he kissed her head. "Dear Clarisse," he chuckled then dropped his voice to a light whisper. "I'm sorry you're not feeling too good."

"Oh on the contrary, I feel very good, too good in fact." She kissed him again. "You know the problem is you're too damn sexy." She almost growled the last word, her voice adopting a deep gravely tone.

"Well, I am flattered."

"So you should be, you know I'm surprised you don't have women throwing themselves at you all the time."

"And why might that be?" He asked amused.

"Because, you're good looking, and rich, intelligent, charming, certainly never dull."

"Thanks." He quipped.

"And besides," she nipped his chest with her teeth. "I've tested the merchandise, I know what they're getting."

"Err, nobody will be getting anything thank you very much, only you."

"Then I'm lucky, but what about next week hmm… what about a month from now when I'm not around you, you won't be tempted?"

He twisted his fingers in her damp hair. "Why say things like that now, hmm… I'd rather not think about that."

"But it's a fact."

"Not tonight." He whispered imploringly.

She nodded silently reaching for the hand that rested in her hair and pulled it down to her lips.

He lifted her chin and kissed her mouth quickly and added, "Besides, there won't be anyone to replace you… ever."

She knew his words were sincere and from the heart and that she really shouldn't allow them to strike a chord, she really shouldn't allow him to say such things… yet despite this she couldn't help but smile and feel her heart swell at the look in his eyes.

"Oh I like this song!" She said excitedly trying to dispel the mood. "It's naughty."

"How so?" Joseph lay back in the water watching her through half closed eyes, a smile still resting on his lips.

"Listen to the words…" she began to sing-speak along with the words to the song. "Some people say that oysters make you come on strong, but I don't buy it, I don't believe my diet turns me on."

Joseph's eyes widened. "You're a bad influence on me you know. I never knew such things…" he said innocently.

"Oh really, you seem to know exactly what you were doing last night… and the night before that… and then…"

He silenced her with a heated kiss, she moaned into his mouth feeling herself tremble from head to foot despite her will not to let this affect her so.

"You really must stop kissing me, it isn't fair to tease."

"I apologise." He said softly. "You're the one who's too damn sexy."

She smirked. "I haven't been told that in a few years."

"It's true."

"Joseph…"

"Yes my darl… dear."

She bit down on her bottom lip to suppress her smile. "Can I ask you something serious, and I mean, deadly serious?"

"Well, yes… I suppose so."

"Do you think, I mean, honestly, do you think this water is getting a little lukewarm?"

"That's the bloody question?"

"Yes," she giggled. "Yes that's it."

"I think you are most definitely insane… either that or your drunk."

"I've had half a glass of wine!" She exclaimed.

"Obviously quite enough young lady, come on, let's get you tucked up in bed and to sleep."

"But I'm not tired." She pouted as she sat up.

"You're not?"

Shaking her head she watched as he climbed out of the bath and wrapped a large towel around himself watching as Clarisse took a towel for herself and stood in the half empty tub teasing him, peeling back the towel to reveal a little of her skin at a time.

Smiling devilishly Joseph suddenly grabbed her and hoisted her up over his shoulder. Against her better judgement Clarisse found herself squealing.

"That's it, I've just about had enough of your naughty behaviour for one night, off to bed with you." He proclaimed as he carried her into the bedroom.

* * *

"Ohhh Joseph…mmm, that feels so good." Clarisse's groans filled the bedroom. "Yes, oh yes, don't stop now… just touch me there…"

"Clarisse!" He murmured. "Stop it! You're putting me off."

"I'm encouraging you."

"No, you're distracting me."

She was silent for a while, biting down on her bottom lip but suddenly she moaned very loudly again.

"Clarisse!"

"What… don't stop." She said vigorously shaking her leg.

Joseph took hold of her foot again and resumed massaging her heel.

"You know this could very well be beyond the call of duty." He said lifting the bottle and adding a few more drops of oil to his hands.

"Most definitely not." Clarisse took another sip of her wine. "This could very well be one of deepest desires."

"Really? Well then, I shall complain no more."

"Hmm." She smiled, closed her eyes and he watched as she visibly sank back into the bed, visual relaxation spreading through her.

"You're falling to sleep…" he whispered.

She said nothing, moaned her agreement.

For a while he remained rubbing her feet until the majority of the oil had disappeared. Then he tucked her legs beneath the blanket and switched the lamp off next to her.

After rinsing his hands he returned to bed, he had only just lay back when she turned over and wrapped her arms around him, her head on his chest. He held onto her, kissed her hair, it seemed to him they fit together so perfectly, now after all the problems, the awkwardness. Now they had found their niche. The place they belonged too.

He knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her; tomorrow he would make sure she knew it also. He would make her breakfast and do it then, first thing in the morning.

* * *

_Please review you lovely people! x Rhonda_


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: Own none of these characters, make no money from them.

Author's Note: WellI guess you knew this was coming right...

**Fallen** - _part 23_

"What?" Clarisse could feel her subjectivity quickly fading. She gripped the back of the chair that stood closest to her and took a deep breath as she stared at him. His smiling joyful face. "What did you say?"

"I said…" he stepped closer towards her and placed his hand over hers. "Marry me Clarisse."

"I…" she swallowed several times, closed her eyes and tried to steady her racing thoughts. "Why are you…" she faltered for a second then cleared her throat in an attempt to remain calm. "Why are you asking me this?"

"You know why, I love you, I want to spend my life with you."

"How? How Joseph… really… it isn't possible."

His smile disappeared. "But I want…"

She cut him off. "I can't believe you're asking me this, now after all I've said. All I've told you."

He pulled his hand from hers and leant back on the table deflated, watching as she angrily stomped across the kitchen. "I can't believe you."

"I thought you wanted it too."

"Marriage!" She almost screeched the word.

"To be with me, last night in the car you said, when I go you'll be heartbroken."

"I don't recall using that word." She said harshly.

"You said…" he mumbled over his words, trying to make everything right again, in his mind this went perfectly. "You said when I go you'll find it difficult."

"Of course I will, I don't randomly sleep with men you know, share my inner thoughts with them for a week then casually move on. But marriage! For gods sake, locked up in that fish bowl, no thank you."

"So that's it, you're response, a blunt no."

"Blunt? I thought my feelings on this were clear. At the palace, we discussed this, it's the reason I left in the first place."

"And the reason I chased after you, I need you."

She closed her eyes and dropped her head forward. "Joseph please you can't lay that on me, we're both old enough to know better, don't guilt trip me."

His stance suddenly stiffened. "Well I'm incredibly sorry to burden you ma'am."

"And don't be sarcastic." She flung her arms up. "God! Our last day together and you do this, there was no need, we knew the outcome, we knew the time limit."

"Forget this 'time limit'." He crossed towards her in a desperate attempt. "Please Clarisse, come with me."

"I will not go back to Genovia. Don't you understand that. I can't, not after all that happened there, what they think of me."

"They know nothing, nobody knows, only us…" he grabbed her flailing hands. "I want you near me, sharing every day."

"No, hell Joseph no, you're not listening to me. I won't marry you, I won't allow myself to be dragged into that life…"

"Being with me?"

"Being with you… when… you're always so damned busy, what do I do? Offer support, walk behind you everywhere, bowing to my husband! It's not me, now please, this morning is ruined, drop this now and we can try and enjoy the day."

"Enjoy the day! How, tell me how! When I know you're counting down the hours until you can get rid of me."

"Now you're being childish, I never said that." She watched as he slumped down at the kitchen table, the remnants of their breakfast still lay there, the now cold toast and quickly cooling tea.

"You've made me feel idiotic."

She groaned and ran her hand through her hair murmuring his name.

"Stupid, stupid old guy who thought she wanted more."

"I've told you what I want, you knew, you always knew, I made it clear from the start to avoid this. I didn't want this to happen."

"Like a fool, like some dumb fool."

"Joseph!" She repeated.

"Well isn't it true, stripped me of my dignity now, good job I wasn't on one knee you might have pushed me over."

"Don't be ridiculous." She sighed. "If you think I've taken your dignity then I apologise, but really, a man should be bigger than that, if he can't even accept some rejection in his life. But then you always get what you want."

"It seems not."

"Stop doing that…. That bloody look you give me, as if I hold all the answers, I don't."

He continued to stare at her until she broke their eye contact. "I can't do this, I can't…" she marched towards the lounge.

"Where are you going?"

"To change!" She barked back. "We were supposed to be going out."

Joseph remained sitting at the table.

* * *

Just over an hour later Clarisse brought herself to get up and go downstairs again. She still hadn't dressed, in fact she'd spent the entire hour lying on the bed hoping he'd come to his senses and come and apologise.

He didn't. And she certainly had no intention of apologising to him. Still, they couldn't spend the entire day at different ends of the house pretending the other didn't exist.

If there was one thing she hated it was an awkward feeling hanging between people, especially when it involved her. So she pulled herself together and went down to him.

Her anger had dissipated somewhat but she felt it resurfacing again when she found him still sitting at the kitchen table, breaking the toast up into crumbs.

Leaning on the doorframe she folded her arms. "What are you doing?" She whispered.

He never turned his head to look at her but she saw him flinch slightly at the sound of her voice. "Nothing."

"Nothing, like some sullen teenager, god men can be so infuriating, you didn't get your own way so what do you do? Sulk! It never fails to amaze me."

"If you've simply come down here to humiliate me more…"

"Humiliate you!" She quickly moved around the table to look at him. "Do you really think that's what I set out to do? I thought you knew me."

"So did I…" he shrugged. "Guess I was wrong."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" she rested her hands on her hips.

"Nothing, forget it." He pushed his plate away and rubbed his hands together knocking off the few loose crumbs.

"Obviously you have something on your mind."

"Well come on Clarisse, it's plain to me now that you've led me on."

She shook her head in disbelief. "I can't believe I'm hearing this… I led you on! So I suppose that this is all my fault, I orchestrated this entire thing right, I brought you here, I forced you into my bed. And let me guess… I took advantage of your good nature."

He swung his legs out from under the table and stretched them, leaning back in his chair with a cold hard look on his face.

"You're no innocent bystander Joseph, you have your own mind, you knew what you were getting in to. If you recall I was the one who gave you the easy way out, I left you, you had no reason to come after me."

"I had every reason – how the hell can you say that, I couldn't believe how much I missed you. How I fell apart."

She vividly recalled how he'd looked the day he'd arrived at her door, it seemed a lifetime ago, that haggard pale lifeless man.

He reached for her body, trying to catch her waist and bring her to him. "I love you Clarisse."

"A moment ago you hated me."

"I could never hate you." He succeeded in bringing her body to his, his head burying against her stomach. "I love you Clarisse, I love you… so much. So much."

She rested her hands on his shoulders and pushed herself back from him. "This isn't right." She whispered.

"Please…" his voice was croaky.

"Joseph you're a mess, one minute you're blaming me for all that has gone wrong, the next you're confessing eternal love. Its…" she shook her head. "Its crazy, it's too intense, too much. I can't do it. You have to stop it."

She folded her hands together, pressing her fingernails into the underside of her chin. "You have to stop."

He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths. "What do you want from me?" he finally asked. "Hmm, what is it you want?"

"I never asked you for anything."

"The hell you didn't!" He slammed his fist down onto the table and she jumped. "The truth is you're too afraid to even try, too afraid to give any man a try, no matter who he is. All those men you told me about… you had all those men."

"Don't do this." She shook her head refusing to let the tears that stung her eyes fall.

"Some slut…" he murmured beneath his breath.

"Joseph… don't say that…"

"Isn't it true! Walking away when you're bored, your not wanting to marry me is linked like every other failed relationship you've ever had, he wasn't rich enough, he wanted children, you didn't love him, you didn't find him interesting, intelligent, funny, stimulating, he wasn't good enough in bed! Whatever Clarisse, when it comes down to it the bottom line is it's you that has the problem, you, nobody else. And get this… the one man she will give into, and she has time and time again, the one man she'll sleep with whenever he snaps his fingers is some womanising alcoholic… how very ironic."

She rushed to the door, wiping at her face at the hot tears burnt her skin.

He grabbed her arm. "Now tell me that doesn't make you some slut."

"How could you?" she gasped. "How could you?"

She was shaking, tears relentlessly streaming down her face. "I trusted you, I told you those things… shared it all…"

She felt his hold on her loosen, his stance alter immediately.

"God Clarisse… how can you make me like this?" he reached to touch her face and she instinctively pulled back. "I would never hurt you, I never meant… I'm so screwed up over this, so angry, with you, at you… with myself. I'm sorry, I didn't mean."

She snuffled and attempted to pull free from him.

"Clarisse," he held her tight again, dropping his arm down and around her back. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, any of it. I want you so much. Don't you see that, I want you so much I can't even see straight. Maybe that makes me some selfish vulgar man, but the thought of any other man touching you, looking at you… I want you; I want to be with you, the one who loves you, the one you turn too. Nobody else, and I hate myself for that, I hate what I'm becoming, infatuated with you, obsessed, some insane person that you fear."

She breathed deeply, her head suddenly felt so heavy.

"I made you cry, I shouldn't have said..."

"You scared me," she finally blurted out. "You hurt me."

"I'm sorry." He held her face. "I'm sorry, I'll do anything, anything you want." He pressed his mouth to hers.

She grasped his shoulders and pushed him back, "Don't, I can't…" He continued to kiss her. "No, I can't do this, I can't pretend."

She backed away from him, watched as he slunk back against the wall. All this, all this because he'd asked her to marry him, everything was so wonderful last night, this morning, waking with him…

"I've messed you up Joseph, you aren't like this, your calm and patient, you listen, that's why people respect you so much, because whatever situation you're thrown into you never lose it, never. And witnessing this… you behaving like this."

She finally realised that him staying here, trying to cling onto her was never going to work. It wasn't healthy for either of them, arguing over this, both battling their corner. They were too stubborn to ever agree, or back down. It was destroying him, destroying what they'd had.

She had to push him away.

"Joseph, you should go… I know you don't want to but…"

"Please don't force me away, I love you, I've never been in love, not like this, you…"

"I don't love you." She shook her head, slowly, resolutely. "I don't love you."

* * *

The words kept going round and round in his head, she didn't love him, all this and she didn't love him.

Again he lifted his head and glanced across at her, she sat in a chair by the door, that summer's day they'd enjoyed so much yesterday had gone replaced by something grey and ugly. Rain threatened.

He still remained on the floor, slumped down after her words had hit, crumbled up like some broken old man.

He could hear himself, hear what he'd said to her, the things he'd called her. His mind seemed so muddled, so desperate and aching; he wanted to take it all back. Go back to this morning when he'd woken with her in his arms. The feel of being with her. Of holding her.

He'd never know it again, he realised that now. He'd overstepped the line, he'd done it unthinking. Blindly clawing for something to hurt her with, to hurt her the way she'd hurt him with one simple sentence. 'I won't marry you.'

"I don't believe you." He said, his voice was low, thick with emotion. They'd hadn't spoken in over an hour and he realised how sore his throat felt, how dry, he needed a drink. He had no energy to move.

"It doesn't matter what you believe." She responded coolly. "It's the truth."

"No…"

"Yes."

"God Clarisse you don't just dig the knife in, you twist it round, further and further until I'm not sure if I'm really alive at all… why are you doing this?"

"Because it won't work, we won't work, it wouldn't last."

"How do you know that? You won't try."

"I know…"

"Explain to me, explain your reasons."

"I don't have to."

She rose and crossed the kitchen flicking the switch on the kettle.

He watched silently as she took out two mugs, a lemon from the fridge was quickly chopped and dropped into the mugs then topped with boiling water.

She handed one to him.

"If you feel as nauseous as I do this will help… or might."

He took it without a word and placed it on the floor next to him.

"Please come sit at the table, don't stay there, its cold, you'll make yourself ill."

"I feel like I'm dying."

"Ohh Joseph don't say that. That isn't what I want, believe me this isn't easy, this isn't an easy thing for me to do."

"Oh but it's a stroll in the park for me, I do this all the time you know." His attempt at being flippant failed because a deep sob escaped his throat.

"Joseph." She moved from her seat and knelt in front of him. "You must understand this, I never for one moment intended to hurt you, I thought you realised, I thought I made myself clear."

"You did, I thought you might change, I thought your feelings would change, the more time we spent together… the deeper my feelings got, I thought you might want me."

"If things were different, we could try, but there's too much, too many hurdles." She gripped his hands in hers. "We have to let this go."

"I can't…" he shook his head. "It hurts too much, contemplating never seeing you again… I can't."

She closed her eyes, when she opened them again he'd leant his head back against the wall. He looked exhausted.

She placed her hand on his forehead. "You look wrecked. Go lie down for a while."

"Back in your bed!" He shrugged. "I don't think so."

"On the couch then, anywhere, the spare room."

"I don't have the energy to move."

"Fine!" she snapped getting to her feet. "Fine, if you won't even help yourself then I give up."

He watched through half-open eyes as she retrieved her mug from the table and left the room. His mind was still screaming her name, beg her to stay you idiot, beg her to let you stay, forget who you are, forget what Genovia means… you can't give this up.

Yet he remained in stony silence on the floor, tears streaming down his face.

* * *

_Well I hope you don't dislike our Joe here, I am trying to show his desperation... :-) Please leave me a review and let me know what you think... Thanks x R_


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer:** Don't own, never will, just playing...

**Fallen_ - part 24_**

It was dark when Clarisse woke up, she hadn't intended to sleep, she meant just to lie down for a while, to have a minute to herself. But her mind was exhausted, mentally, physically, emotionally, she was exhausted.

She got up from the bed and rubbed her face, it had been raining, she could smell it in the air. Shivering she moved to the window and closed it, in the distance she could hear the sea, steady and unchangeable tides creeping in.

This had to end now, one-way or the other. Honestly she didn't want them to part on bad terms, she cared too much for that, far too much. But right now she couldn't see another way.

The situation had gone from bad to worse; they'd clambered from one emotion to the other, exchanged insults, thrown their hurt back and forth.

Honestly she didn't want it to end badly, yet if she were really honest with herself she knew that it probably would.

With a heavy heart she made her way back downstairs. The rooms all lie in darkness, the kitchen seemed eerily cold as she stepped into it. Yet he'd moved, she didn't trip over his legs when she'd entered the room.

"Joseph?" She whispered reaching for the light switch.

"I'm here." He blinked as the harshness of the light filled the room.

"How are you?" she said hesitantly, he looked like hell.

"Bearing up. You slept?"

"Yes… for a while." She realised he must have come and checked on her, she hadn't noticed it before, but she wasn't under the sheets when she lay on the bed. "Have you eaten anything?"

"No, not yet."

"Shall I make you something?"

"You don't have to."

"You haven't eaten all day."

She passed by him as she moved to the table, collecting up their breakfast dishes. He held her from behind, his hands winding around her waist, his head on her lower back.

"I need you."

"Joseph…" she warned. "This won't help."

"Hold me, please, just hold me for a while, I need your warmth, I need you to fix me."

"I can't." she attempted to pull away again, it broke her heart but she did it nevertheless. "You have to fix yourself, not rely on me. I'll make us dinner."

"I don't care about dinner! Clarisse, talk to me."

"I don't want to argue anymore."

"Neither do I but I need to know, we need to sort this out."

"We have sorted this out, you know how I feel, Joseph you should never have asked, if you'd never said those words we could have enjoyed the last day, you would have left in the morning and all would be as it should be. A brief moment, some escapist memory."

"And how do you think it would have gone, hmm? My leaving? Would it have been plain sailing, you kissed me goodbye and I disappear like some good little boy without a second thought on the matter. Don't you know you have my soul here. You're tearing me apart."

"What we have isn't exactly clear is it Joseph, not really, you couldn't have thought for one second that this…"

"That this was more than just sex for you, damn it, damn you," he was storming around the kitchen now, restless, fuming. "For gods sake, how can you be so cold to me, such a total bitch."

"Joseph!"

"How can you, just screwing around for you, just some light entertainment until the next one comes along. That's all it's ever been… sex, well Clarisse I sure hope I reached your expectations, sure hope I get a good report for when you reveal all to the next lucky beggar."

"Stop it."

He kicked one of the cupboards.

"Stop this right now!"

"What do you want from me?" He whispered, then broke into a roar. "What the hell do you want from me? To walk away tomorrow and never think about you again, or to suffer for the rest of my life dreaming about this? What kind of sadist are you? Shall we just fuck on the kitchen table one last time before I leave?"

Breathless he stopped, forcing air into his lungs, gripping the edge of the worktop in an attempt to steady himself.

"Are you finished?" She whispered. "Because if you are I think you should leave now, before you say anything else."

"For gods sake," he cried out. "Who the hell taught you to be so cold, do you feel nothing, nothing?"

"You have no right to speak to me like that, whoever you are, whatever titles you hold." Shaking she attempted to pull herself together and steadily crossed the kitchen opening the fridge and taking out a bottle of wine. "You're in my home."

"I'm not speaking to you as some haughty royal, listen to me." He grabbed her arm forcing her to turn. "I'm speaking to you…"

"Let go of me." She yanked her arm back but he held onto it.

"I'm saying this as your lover of the past few days, as the man who is in love with you, so fucked up, so deeply I can't see, I've been blind as to how you really are."

"Take your hands off me."

"Stop struggling, stop fighting me."

"Don't touch me, let go, you selfish egocentric bastard!" She pushed him back with her free hand, slapped his face hard and scathingly.

He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back against the worktop, the wine bottle toppled from the side and smashed at her feet.

She glanced down as Joseph winced, felt the liquid seep into her slippers and drench her toes. Then she noticed Joseph was bare foot, his grip on her loosened and he dropped his head.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "Sorry for everything."

Trembling he stepped away from her, not one flit of emotion now showed on his face. She watched as he crunched through the glass and out of the kitchen.

Groping the side for support Clarisse shook violently, this wasn't how it should have gone; this wasn't how it was meant to end. Not like this.

Her throat felt awkward and tight, her heart beating so fast she could barely breathe. Her stomach twisted with nausea, her chest ached with the memory of what had just transpired.

Tentatively she stepped over the shards of glass and out of her slippers, he feet were wet, as she entered the lounge she dug her toes into the carpet. She climbed the stairs, the only light coming from her bedroom.

The room was empty, the bed sheets still crumpled, their clothes of the past few days lay discarded on the floor. God she'd lost all sense of reality this past week. All sense.

Turning she headed for the en suite, that too was empty, as was the second bathroom, the spare bedrooms, the office.

Angrily she wiped at her face, at the tears welling up in her eyes and threatening to fall. Frustrated she stomped her feet, she shouldn't allow him to do this. He shouldn't have the power to make her feel this way.

Making her way downstairs again she stopped in the lounge, she could hear him now, muffled anguish. In the darkness she crossed through to the far side, his back to her, sitting on the floor, staring out the patio doors to the blackness of the garden.

"Joseph…" She whispered, her voice broke instantly; she closed her eyes tightly and shook the tears away. He was crying, she'd not seen a man cry since her father at her mother's funeral.

Reaching out shakily she touched his shoulder. He showed no sign he'd felt it; she bent, could see the tears streaming down his face as she knelt behind him.

"Did I hurt you?" His voice was deep, raw and cracked.

She shook her head.

"I want you so badly it's killing me, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, to make you happy, to give you anything I can. To marry you, to be able to call you my wife… yet you can't ever bear to hear the words."

She said nothing, her own tears fell now as she listened to his broken voice, his will shattered.

"There's nothing I can do, I cannot force you to love me, can't make you."

Her hand tightened on his shoulder. "But you have no idea how I feel… how much I care…" her voice failed her and she had to breathe deeply to clear the tightness. "I do Joseph, I do. Do you think I would be doing this if I didn't, that I would really just sleep with you for the fun?"

"No." he finally said, monosyllabic and empty.

"I'm almost fifty-six years old, I want more. I want this relationship you speak of, companionship, with you."

He turned around quickly. "But you won't marry me, despite this."

"Because it wouldn't be what you describe, it wouldn't be simply us growing old together and enjoying our time. I'd be savaged by the press, this woman, this nobody marrying a King. His former housekeeper, who knows how the country would respond, what right do I have to take my place in the royal house?"

He clasped her hands in his." Every right."

"But I don't want it. I want my retirement to be peaceful, to do what I want when I want. Not to be following you around, attending dull social gatherings and political get-togethers… as grand and wonderful as all that might be."

"You wouldn't have to, I'd make sure of it, you could have your freedom."

"Living in the palace, not here, not in my home. Joseph you must understand that, you must try, my family I don't want them to have to go through that. All the questions, digging through my personal life, picking me apart, false tabloid stories, I'm sure Stephen would just love to have his fifteen minutes at my expense."

He was silent now, gazing at the floor, still holding her hands firmly in his.

"Joseph…" She touched his head, stroked his face. "Joseph, I don't want to hurt you, I don't want you to think that I used you, I'm not… I don't know what to do."

"Neither do I."

He glanced up at her and her fingers lightly touched his mouth.

"I shouldn't have said what I did, the things I called you, for that I apologise."

She nodded fleetingly touching the red mark on his face. "And I'm sorry for that." She looked to his feet, sticky with blood. "Oh god you're hurt." She let go of him and dragged herself up. "I'll get something for it."

"I'm fine, a few cuts."

"You might have glass in them."

"I can walk." He hobbled to his feet.

"Go to the bathroom, I'll find something to clean the cuts properly."

* * *

Sitting on the edge of the bathtub Joseph watched through sore red eyes as Clarisse washed his cuts. He reached and touched her shoulder.

"Does it hurt, am I hurting you?"

"No." he murmured. "Clarisse…" he whispered.

"Yes." She turned the water off, dabbed at his feet with a towel. The bleeding had ceased, his cuts were clean.

"Clarisse…"

"Yes." Absently she looked up to him, realised his hand rested lightly on her shoulder. He looked so broken, so exhausted and drained. His eyes were cloudy, red from the crying, gone was his warm smile, the air of comfort he seemed to carry with him.

Had she done this to him?

Moving she leant against him, stroking his face, kissing his forehead, twisting the tips of her fingers into his beard.

She rested her forehead against his. "Ohh what a day. What a horrible day." She kissed his mouth, finally, after avoiding contact with him the entire day. She felt an instant warmth in the pit of her stomach, the pressure on her heart lifting, and she said the next words without thought or care. "Let's go to bed."

* * *

Side by side they lay in the darkness, naked, warm and close together. Their bodies still entwined, the slow sweetness of their love making still streaming through their bodies.

Clarisse's eyes were open but she could hardly see, the moon was covered tonight and the room was black, she was blind. She felt Joseph stroking her skin, one of his hands clasped in hers, the other cradling and cherishing her body next to his.

"I'll leave." His voice cut into the darkness shattering the dreamlike state she'd slipped into.

"I'll abdicate."

"What?" She heard the words, couldn't register them.

"I'll abdicate, to Philippe, leave, after a few months when the fuss has died down I'll come here."

"No." she pulled back from his hold. "No, you can't do that."

"It will be fine, it's been done before."

"No, you'll never forgive yourself, you love your country, if they hate you you'll… slip into depression, end up blaming me."

"I wouldn't."

"You would, and it would never die down, they would want to know where you are, who you're with, the intrusion would be the same."

"Clarisse."

"Tell me that's what you really want, to abandon your country?"

He was silent, she could hear his uncertain breath, could just about see his face.

She reached to touch it. "You won't do that. Not for me. I don't want you too."

"Then what?" He whispered. "What do we do? I can't envisage being without you. You won't marry me, won't come with me to Genovia, you don't want me to abdicate and come here for you… what do we do? What can I do?"

She shook her head, it felt heavy and dizzy, that sick feeling was rising up her throat again.

"Tell me what to do Clarisse." He was holding her close now, grasping at her, pressing her to his chest.

"I don't know… god help me I don't know…" Now she cried openly, couldn't help herself, couldn't stop the flow of tears.

"I need to be with you."

"I don't know…" deep heavy sobs flooded her body, knocking every last ounce of strength from her.

"We can't not be… I can't be apart from you…"

"Then you have to decide." Shelooked up this face, gripped his shoulders, dug her nails into his skin, "You have to decide because I can't, I can't, I can't…"

She was shuddering in his arms as if she were freezing, shaking as she cried. Her face was pressed into his chest and he felt her tears soaking his skin.

He cradled her body to him, moved onto his back and rocked her against him, comforting her, kissing her head, stroking her back. Finally her sobs ceased and in time she slept lying on top of him.

Joseph held onto her, listening to the sound of her breathing, sharing in the sheer completeness of being with her.

He had done this. He had brought her down to this, reduced this strong willed, independent, fun-loving woman to a shaking crumbling wreck. Guilt ridden, uncertain, unsure of what she was to do next. He had no right to do that. It wasn't what he wanted; it wasn't how he wanted their relationship to turn out.

He only ever wanted to love her, to bring her happiness and share in it.

The decision had been made.

* * *

_Well i certainly hope you - erm - 'enjoyed' that. Please leave me a little message - thanks x R_


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer:** Don't own, having fun, don't send me to prison!

**Author's Note**: The last chapter in Section 2 but NOT the last chapter of the story... more to come!

**Fallen** - _part 25_

When Clarisse woke the following day the sun was already high in the sky, she turned onto her back, stretched across the bed, the sheets twisting around her body.

Glancing at the clock she realised it was already past 11… and she was alone in the bed.

Sitting up she looked over the room, Joseph's clothes were gone from the floor, his bag no longer standing on the chair at the side of the room. Slowly stepping out of bed she wrapped a sheet around her and went to the window, the gates at the bottom of the drive were closed; her car had been moved to, in front of the garage, two sets of tyre tracks on the gravel.

He was gone.

Frantically she turned and searched the room, looking for signs of a letter, a brief note of explanation. Nothing.

She went downstairs, nothing in the kitchen, nothing…

Forcing herself to breathe she sat down, the sheet still wrapped around her.

He was gone.

He had made the decision for her.

* * *

Still trembling she stood and automatically went to fill the kettle, it was morning, she would make tea and breakfast. Without thought she took out two mugs, then threw one across the room, it splintered against the tiled wall.

"Damn you Joseph!" she screamed.

The empty silence of the room seemed to close in around her, her absurd actions vibrating in the stillness, echoing throughout the house.

She gasped, the pain caught in her chest and she heard herself sob, it tore from her throat and shattered her exterior. He was gone, she'd pushed him away, it was as it should be… then why did it hurt so much?

Yesterday there were times she'd hated him, times he'd gone too far, said such things, hurt her intentionally. Yet she'd done the same, she'd closed herself down to him; it was easier that way, being there with her wasn't good for him, that had become achingly plain to see.

Perhaps once he was back in Genovia, once he'd buried himself in all that work again he'd forget, it would be better for him. He would remember just who he was and what a role he had in life… what a role! She had no right to take him from that, to keep him from all those people.

Pulling herself together Clarisse made a decision, today was for drowning her sorrows; tomorrow she would be back to normal.

She went upstairs, two at a time, into the bedroom, pulled off the bed sheets and threw them downstairs. Within minutes she had replaced the sheets with fresh ones. She cleared the clothes from the floor; they followed the bed sheets over the banister and down the stairs to be washed.

Off went all her creams, make-up, perfume from the dressing table and she climbed her way through the cardboard boxes in the spare room until she located the small portable television. It took pride of place on her dressing table, all curtains in her bedroom were closed and the television turned on.

Now in her dressing gown she returned downstairs, put all the laundry on to wash, made herself cheese-on-toast and a pot of tea, took a pack of chocolate biscuits from the cupboard and returned to bed.

Comfort eating and old films were the order of the day.

* * *

After sitting through five hours of television, including two black and white movies and some odd house-decorating show, Clarisse finally switched it off. Her back ached from lying in the same position for too long, her skin felt dry and sore from where she had occasionally allowed her tears to fall and she had to admit it to herself… she needed to shower.

Not today though. Who would know?

Flicking through the local newspaper she read through every small article, every matter of insignificance. The only one to catch her attention was on the village swimming pool's attempt to start a club for youngsters. They needed volunteers, and money from the looks of things; otherwise it might never get off the ground. She couldn't think of anything worse, for her the pool was already too over full with little children, the last thing they needed was even more.

Stretching she turned onto her side, reached across the bed and wrapped the sheets tightly around her body. In her mind she couldn't help but think she was now on Joseph's side of the bed. She closed her eyes and imagined where he might be now, home perhaps?

If she tried she could just about recall what his suite looked like, how the palace shone like a jewel, the warmth and glorious fragrance of the kitchen, the jolly chatter as the staff had dinner. The sight of the grounds in Winter, iced and white, the children of Joseph's friends, the children of Parliament members, racing down the hill, arguing over who had the better sledge.

Summer, when the trees were ripe, when the night sky was clear and they'd sat side-by-side with their feet in the fountain. The time he'd danced with her, October, she'd worn a black dress, she'd never worn it since. Those days she still called him Sir, those days she hardly knew him at all, knew what lie beneath that cool calm exterior, that façade of respectability.

He was such a lonely man.

She was such a lonely woman. Only she liked to overlook that part.

Opening her eyes again the sight of the small bottle of oil caught her eye, the oil he'd used on her feet the night before. Was it only the night before? Next to it something gold, something solidly gold… she reached for it. His signet ring, the one he'd taken off so many nights ago, she hated the feel of it upon her skin, cool and hard, his hands were much better. She turned it over, carefully examined the shape and size, the intricate carvings and symbols on the surface. For Genovia. For the King.

She replaced it on the side, it stood as some barrier, some object of hatred. And she had no idea what to do with it.

She closed her eyes again longing for it to all disappear, in a moment she would get herself up and have something to eat, get herself a strong drink, perhaps then sleep might come.

* * *

It was the telephone that woke her, she sat bolt upright in bed, dreaming… still dreaming. Shaking her head she brushed the hair back from her face and forced herself to wake. It was dark in the room; her hands fumbled with the switch on the lamp, then grabbed the receiver.

"Hello… hello…" she mumbled, her mind still dreamlike, her eyes unfocused.

"Hello."

His voice. She swallowed, leant back against the wall.

"Clarisse, hello, are you there?"

"Yes." She managed to whisper. "Yes, I'm here."

"Good. I wanted to call…"

"Where are you?" she blurted out.

"Genovia, my suite, I've been back a couple of hours now."

By reflex she looked to the clock, a couple of hours, what time was it there now? Her mind wouldn't function, she could barely breathe.

"I wanted to call to apologise. Yesterday my behaviour was unacceptable, I shouldn't have put you under such strain, shouldn't have burdened you with such things, I have no right."

She was shaking her head yet no words were forthcoming.

"I thought it easier if I left without us having to go through it all again, without any more arguments, you were right, you were right." He said the last line softly and she almost screamed in frustration.

They were both silent for a moment, she could hear the sound of his breathing, the tremble in his breath, everything wasn't right; everything was wrong and fucked up and painful.

"Joseph…" She whispered.

"Yes?" he sounded hopeful.

"I'm, well I'm just glad you're home safely, that you… feel better."

"Well, I feel… I'm not sure better is the word, more myself, being here, bombarded with the thousands of messages and correspondents, you know how it is."

"Yes, life goes on around us, has gone around us."

"Yes."

Silence again, she could think of nothing to fill it this time, she longed to lie her head back on the pillow and sleep with the sound of his breathing next to her.

"Clarisse…" he said her name with such affection. "I don't really want to do this over the telephone but I just… I can't not say it, if I don't say it, if I ignore it then I know I'll loathe myself." He smirked. "I already loathe myself, the things I said yesterday."

"Don't… it's over now."

"I ruined it all, such perfection with you, and I tarnished it."

"Just brought it into reality." She said gently.

"Yes… reality, such a cruel thing. Clarisse, Clarisse my darling…"

She allowed the term, for once it didn't bother her, he meant it with real affection, deep affection.

"I just need to say, as much as you probably don't wish to hear it, that I will always love you, deeply, unconditionally. And if there is anything you ever need, anytime you feel you need to talk or just … I would do anything for you. Anything at all."

She didn't speak, she held her breath, closed her eyes as the tears slipped down her cheeks.

"I just wanted you to know. The truth."

"Thank you." She finally said.

"Well, I suppose… I suppose… goodbye."

"Yes," her voice cracked a little. "Yes, goodbye… Joseph."

"Goodbye, good night, take care."

She put the phone down quickly, slammed it down. And pounded her fists into the bed.

"I love you…" she sobbed into the silent air, the emptiness offered no reply, no comfort.

* * *

_Please leave me a little review - thank you xx Rhonda_


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer:** Don't own, never will, just playing...

**Author's Note:** And so **Section 3** begins... onto the future, could be a long journey! Remember if you'd like to read the entire thing again, including uncut bits, please visit my CJ website.

**Fallen - **_Part 26_

Joseph cradled the infant in his arms, marvelling at the way she neatly tucked into both of his hands, her entire body in his hands. He stroked her foot with his thumb and she kicked slightly, gurgling something and moving her head in her sleep. The pink suit she was safely comforted in seemed to him like the perfect kind of haven: warm, fluffy and secure.

Taking his eyes momentarily from her face he looked out of the window, the rain still fell albeit a little more lightly, yet the winds howled through the grounds and rattled the windows.

It was November, three months since he'd left Clarisse, three months since he'd seen her or spoken to her. Now he was a grandfather and more than anything he wanted to share that piece of information with her.

Amelia was two weeks old now, this tiny girl had brought him back to life; he loved her immediately, instantly, without thought, so much joy wrapped up in something so small. He knew that Philippe was already making plans for the Christening, that Pierre would be Godfather, it would an intimate family occasion… but goodness how he longed to invite Clarisse. To have her by his side sharing in the most natural and unforced of joys.

He gently kissed the baby's forehead and swayed her gently.

"You seem to be in love?"

He turned at the female voice behind him and smiled at Helen, she'd been here for the past two months, hiding away in the palace until the birth. He had just about gotten used to her American accent ringing through the halls, a strong change to those Europeans that surrounded him.

"You see more of her than I do."

He observed how she stood at the opposite side of the room from him, how she wrung her hands together nervously.

"I apologise, I can't resist holding her for a while." He moved closer to her, sometimes he forgot just how young she was, a child herself faced with the responsibility of raising her own. "Helen, you still seem nervous around me." He said gently.

"Sorry… It's just… kinda weird."

"I'm 'kinda weird?'"

She laughed at his use of the slang, "No, not you, the situation."

He glanced down at Amelia's face and indicated for Helen to sit, lowering Amelia into her arms and sitting beside her.

"Helen we've never really had the opportunity to talk, properly."

"I guess not, you want to question me?"

"Hardly, I'm really not that much of an ogre you know!" He chuckled attempting to lighten the mood. "I want the best, for all three of you. I know this is huge responsibility, being a parent is big enough but this… all this… Philippe will one day be ruler of all this, when I'm dead and buried."

"What an awful thought."

"But the way it works, we accept it."

"It seems so."

"But you have a choice, you know that, and I will support you either way, Amelia and yourself will never need to worry or want for anything, you are part of this family, you always will be. Whether or not you and Philippe decide it will work."

She looked up at him, raising a questioning eyebrow.

He shook his head, "I know, I didn't always think this way, I'm a stubborn old man… honestly I struggled with it all, it wasn't what I'd hoped for."

"Something changed your mind?" she looked down at Amelia.

"Somebody changed my mind… a woman made me see that this lifestyle isn't the most appealing. There is more to life, more to being alive, she made me see that… How I could be…"

He realised Helen was staring intently at him and he pulled himself back out of his reminiscing mood.

"Well, I'll leave you two alone, work to do." He rose to leave.

"Who was she?" Helen blurted out.

"Sorry?"

"This woman? Who was she?"

"Oh, a friend."

"You disappeared this summer, top secret where you were, Philippe complained about it, he didn't know where you'd gone on vacation. I remember when you got back you were different… sadder."

He sighed. "Not anymore." He glanced to the window. "Would you like some tea Helen?"

"Sure, would you like a listening ear?"

"I'm not sure I have much to say, much of interest."

"Perhaps not but don't we all need a confidant every now and then, even Kings?"

He nodded slowly then picked up the telephone receiver.

In a second tea and cakes had arrived and Joseph dismissed the maids and poured.

Seating himself across from Helen he sipped his tea, wondering where to begin. Presently he found his voice.

"She used to work here, before you arrived."

"And?"

"And, without too much of a preamble, I fell in love with her. Hit me unexpectedly, out of the blue, never felt like that before, never met somebody who had that affect on me."

He sipped his tea and Helen remained silent watching him.

"I think she felt something too, at least I hoped, we got closer. Then…" he half-heartedly smiled. "Then I wrecked it, one thing and another, you being pregnant and my reaction to it, the way I treated a staff member… it's unimportant now, but it was the reason she left, it built up, you know."

"Yes."

"When she'd gone…" His voice sounded oddly detached from him, as if it were someone else's.

"You missed her?"

He nodded solemnly.

"And went after her? That's where you were this summer, with her?"

"Yes…" his seemed to find his voice again. "With her, and I found something I never even knew existed. More than love, more… I don't know, I can't explain it." He shrugged. "But she doesn't want this life, being royal and all that comes bound up with it. She wants to retire, enjoy her time, do what she wants and all the rest of it. You see a monarch doesn't usually retire, they just die."

"Perhaps the system needs shaking up."

"I agree, it's too late for me now, but for Philippe the system should change. I wholeheartedly agree."

He fell silent and finished his tea, she watched as he fiddled with the handle on the china cup.

"So that's it, you never see each other again?"

"Seems so."

"Have you kept it touch, contacted her?"

"Not to speak too, I sent her flowers last month for her Birthday, a silly postcard… a while ago now, I knew it would make her laugh."

He smiled at the memory, spotting it in some hotel lobby and immediately thinking of her. Taking it on impulse, scribbling his name on the back and having Richard post it before he changed his mind.

"I'm in London next week…" he looked to Helen but of course she didn't understand the relevance of that. "She lives in England." He explained. "Southern England, it will be terribly strange flying there and not seeing her, knowing she's there… ridiculous really."

"Do you think she would see you?"

He looked up at the young lady, it suddenly struck him how odd it was sitting here revealing it all to her, he hadn't told a soul about any of it and now suddenly here he was sharing his innermost feelings.

"I mean, if you asked her, she might meet you, a date."

He smiled again. "I don't think she'd meet me for a 'date', not after all that happened."

"How do you know?"

He paused and shook his head.

"I mean for sure, how do you know for sure if you don't ask her? You can ask, she can only say no."

"That's what I'm afraid of. Besides it's been too long since I spoke to her, I can't face calling her up, it isn't fair, out of the blue like that."

"Then find another way. Really if you feel so strongly about it all, about her, then you should try… ask her to meet you for dinner, ladies like being spoilt with an expensive dinner."

"Hmm, I guess, Clarisse isn't like that though, doesn't fall for the normal charms."

"Clarisse, that's a very beautiful name."

"She was, she is, incredibly beautiful."

"I'd like to meet her…"

"And I'd like her to meet my little granddaughter, but things happen for a reason."

"Perhaps you going to London for a meeting is happening for a reason… more than politics."

* * *

"Alright everyone, you've done excellently tonight, I'm very impressed. Can we head to the changing rooms now, sensibly… and with relatively little noise. Thank you."

Clarisse rose from her position in the stands and moved down along the side of the pool towards the instructor.

"Well Ms. Arcenciel… what did you think?"

"They are all very sweet, and so small… and call me Clarisse, I think I've been coming here long enough now Harry don't you."

"I guess so." He chuckled lightly and they headed out to his office. "So what about it?"

She sighed. "I don't know, I mean, I've never been very good with children."

He smiled. "Well, you don't have to like them, just teach them… keep them under control. Some of the parents, as you know, don't feel entirely comfortable with a man teaching the 11 to 15 year olds, you're more than capable of working with them. It's three hours a week, nothing serious, no competitions, no intensive training."

"Thank goodness."

He chuckled again. "You're a formidable opponent for anyone I think Clarisse, they'll like that, they'll love that you're not me, and the parents might stop complaining. You're a respectable lady."

"Ha! For now, I'm sure they'll find some gossip to dig up on me, I'll think it over, give me a couple of days and I'll let you know. I was planning on being completely selfish and having all my time for me, but now I find I'm bloody well bored!" She smiled then shrugged. "Maybe I will, maybe this will be fun."

"Thanks Clarisse." He reached forward and shook her hand.

* * *

The evening air was sharp and Clarisse tugged her gloves on as she crossed from the leisure centre to her car. Slipping in behind the wheel she turned the key in the ignition and put the heating on full, the windows were frosted over, a couple of hours in the car park and the windows were frosted over!

Resting her handbag on her knee she dug out her phone and flipped it open checking for any missed messages. There were none, dropping her phone back into her bag she pulled out the three unopened letters that had arrived that morning and scanned them. The electricity bill, some leaflet informing her she'd won a cruise and one… one with a European postmark.

She found that she was trembling as she tore it open, his handwriting, she recognised it immediately. That elaborate swirl, the fancy penmanship, the headed paper. It was short, barely a side, her eyes flew over the words, then returned to the beginning and read it all again.

She was suddenly startled by a knock on the window next to her. She eased it down.

"Everything ok love?"

Yes, everything's fine Harry, fine."

"Car giving you trouble, this freezing weather."

"Not at all, I just," she shrugged. "Just giving it a moment to warm through."

"Good, well I'll be off, see you next week."

"Yes. Night."

She watched him head across the car park to his land rover and dropped the letter onto the seat next to her, attempting to forget about its contents at least until she got home.

* * *

The cascade of hot water was blissfully relaxing, closing her eyes she allowed it to massage her temples and run its way down her body. She could still smell that odd mixture of chlorine and shampoo, the loudness of the girls splashing their way through the water. She wished she were in the pool now, surrounded by a world of silence, her mind calm and organised… unlike this whirl of bombarding thoughts that occupied her brain right now.

"Clarisse!" Rose's voice boomed up the stairs. "Clarisse, damn it you're late!"

"I'm in the bathroom." She called in return.

"What the hell…" Through the frosted glass she could just about make out Rose's form as she swung open the bathroom door. "You're late and you're still in the shower!"

"I'm sorry, I got distracted."

"How?"

"I just, sorry…"

"Martin is waiting in the car, we're supposed to be meeting Jeff in under an hour."

"Oh, I told you no more ill-advised dinner dates with you and Martin and making me sit with the unfortunate Jeff, it will never work."

"He's a nice guy."

"Yes, he is."

Rose sighed, placing her hands on her hips. "But you my dear still love somebody else."

Clarisse switched the shower off. "Oh don't start again. No more meddling."

"Alright, even if it's for your own good… I'll go tell Martin to meet Jeff alone, they can have a guy's night out. I'm not really feeling in the mood anyway."

"Rose, I've ruined your evening."

"No you haven't, I happened to notice you have an unopened bottle of Moet in your cellar, I suggest you crack it open."

"That's a limited edition from France, supposed to be for special occasions."

"Bugger that, don't be so by-the-book all the time and let's just get pissed on over-priced bubbly."

Clarisse wrapped a towel around herself and stepped out of the shower. "You have that bossy tone that's meant for me."

"I know," Rose crossed her ankles and twisted the car keys dangling from her finger. "You drive me insane. Here's what we are going to do, I'm going to drive Martin to the restaurant, come back, get drunk with you, convince you to get off your arse and do something, and when Martin rolls in at 2a.m. you are going to tuck us both into bed!"

"Oh I am! Well that hardly seems like a recipe for welcome houseguests."

"Tough." She kissed Clarisse's cheek. "Get dressed and find some glasses. I'll be fifteen minutes."

"Okay, okay…"

* * *

"Do you think it's still snowing?" Clarisse whispered into the silence.

"Probably, I hope Martin can get a cab home."

"So do I, I'm certainly in no state to drive in this weather.

"And I just don't want to." Rose laughed then hiccupped. "Oh dear, too much Champers darling!"

"Indeed." Clarisse rolled over in front of the fire, crossing her legs and closing her eyes as she turned her face to the warmth of the fire. "I got a letter."

"What kind of letter… ahhh you mean from 'him'."

Clarisse didn't particularly like the tone in which Rose said her last line but she ignored it.

"Yes him. It came today."

"And?"

"And he'll be in London, next week."

"Oh?" Suddenly interested Rose hoisted herself up and folded her legs beneath her.

"Some meeting or other, conference I don't know."

"I'm guessing he wasn't telling you this for the good of his health."

"Hardly, wants me to join him."

"Seems a little presumptuous after everything that's happened, sex on tap!"

"That's not what he meant!" Clarisse exclaimed. "Well, I don't think… dinner, he wants me to have dinner with him one evening, says he'll pay for my journey there and back and accommodation if I wish to stay for a few days. Just wants to see me, to talk… to catch up."

She turned onto her back and shrugged as she stared up at the ceiling.

"I don't know. It's too strange, I won't go."

"Of course you won't because that would mean admitting to yourself that you care."

"Oh don't start this again, guilt tripping me."

"I wouldn't dream of it my dear, all I'm saying is that perhaps its time you admitted…"

"Don't." Clarisse warned getting to her feet.

"…admitting that you are in love with him."

"What for?" she shrugged. "What's the point, in the end, it won't help either of us."

"I disagree, I think it will help you immensely."

"How could it possibly?" She drained her glass and reached for the bottle emptying the last of its contents into her glass.

"Because Clarisse it would somehow allow you to feel what you've never felt. To love and be loved in return, properly, not some fictional association with what you think love could be… not some screwed up half relationship with a no hoper. He _would_ love you."

"This isn't some normal guy! You know. This isn't just me thinking 'gosh I'd really like him to move in with me'. It's too hard, too much."

"He would do anything for you, if you told him how you felt, if you admitted you love him, for gods sake he would move heaven and earth for you. Without a second thought."

"And maybe I don't want that. Maybe I don't want him to be able to do that, Rose this isn't easy, will never be easy. What the hell do I do? Throw myself at him, throw myself to the lions for savaging?"

"Maybe you could just be his once-in-a-while companion." A deep voice suddenly cut throat the darkness of the room. "Ya know, his secret lover, kinda exciting don't you think, a billionaire lover."

"Bloody hell Martin you scared me half to death!" Rose exclaimed throwing a pillow in the direction of her husband. "How long have you been there?"

"Only a minute or so, good job I got here, you ladies sure do make a mess out of everything."

He strode across the room and slipped down onto Clarisse's couch kicking his shoes off.

"It's bloody freezing out there, taxi only managed it so far had to walk the rest of the way, you sure pick some place to live Rissie."

"Oh don't call me that, you know I hate that." Clarisse pouted.

"Always have, are you making an old man a coffee then."

"I'll make the old man hot chocolate."

"Ahh that's more like it." He rubbed his hands together. "Drop of Brandy in it."

"You see this is why I remain single, men demand too much."

Rose smiled and moved to sit by her husband. "You shouldn't have walked in the snow, silly man."

"Would you like a drink too Rose?" Clarisse asked.

"Yes thanks dear."

Clarisse paused by the door and turned to watch them, Martin with his head back on the couch, eyes closed, pretending to ignore Rose as she rubbed his cold toes.

She couldn't help but feel that this was what she wanted, something as small and insignificant as that.

Within a few minutes Clarisse returned and sat by the fire again with her own drink.

Finally she said, "He isn't a billionaire anyway."

"Oh I do apologise Ris, a millionaire."

"Stop calling me that!" She glared at him.

"Well then, let's be logical, because you two can both pretend I know nothing about this… but I have eyes, and ears, and I've watched it all unfold. So come on Clarisse, either you made a mistake and tumbled into bed with his Royal Highness orrrr…"

"Or?" Clarisse whispered.

"Or you just admit that it wasn't sex, it was love."

All three were silent; Rose leant back against Martin's legs and felt his hand come to rest on her shoulder. Both stared at Clarisse's back, she in turn stared into the fire.

Finally she said.

"It is love, is…"

"Then go, what's stopping you, think about it logically Rissie, like a man, it's not difficult. You want to see him, he wants to see you, you don't want anybody to know…" He shrugged. "Doesn't take a genius to figure something out."

* * *

_Please let me know what you think, thanks xx Rhonda_


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer**: Don't own, never will

**Author's Note**: Now where could this be heading...

**Fallen **- _Part 27_

Clarisse drummed her nails on the clothed table glancing around the highly polished restaurant once more. She was glad she had worn the black cocktail dress now, it was elegant and smart and even better than that she blended in the background quite easily. If she'd gone for the burgundy she might have attracted attention. As it was she was just another lonely middle-aged woman who may, or may not, have been stood up.

Twisting the watch on her wrist she sighed deeply and reached for her glass of water taking another sip. Having been nervous all day she had avoided food but was now feeling rather ravenous.

Sighing she looked up only to catch one of the young waiter's eyes, she cast her eyes down to the table finding something of interest to hold her attention. She would give him ten minutes more then she would leave and end the humiliation.

"Excuse me madam."

"Er, yes." She looked up hesitantly to the gentleman standing next to her; he was about her age, maybe slightly younger. Obviously the maitre d'.

"So sorry to bother you, I believe you are Miss. Arcenciel."

"Yes." She said shakily.

"Ahh, then I am to escort you into our private dining room madam."

"Oh. Oh I see." Rising to her feet she collected her handbag from beneath the table, so much for avoiding attention.

She followed the gentleman through the throng of upper class diners and through an elaborate door at the back, down another short hallway and yet another door and she entered a dimly lit room. Candles stood on almost every surface creating an eerie yet romantic glow, vases containing a mixture of red and white roses adorned several of the side tables.

"If you would like to take a seat." The maitre d' instructed.

She nodded her thanks and accepted when a waiter held out a chair for her.

"I'm Andrew madam."

"Please, miss."

"Miss, I'll be your waiter this evening."

"Thank you."

"Champagne has already been ordered, should I pour?"

"Yes please. Thank you." She realised she sounded rather shaky, her nerves edging their way forward.

It seemed rather bizarre sitting there by herself waiting, fidgeting with the skirt of her dress and the bracelet on her wrist. She took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself.

"Hello Clarisse."

His voice was as she remembered, deep and incredibly warm, kindness seemed to emanate from his most simple words.

She closed her eyes momentarily before turning her head slightly; he approached from a door on the other side of the room.

"Sorry to drag you in here but it seemed the safest option, I had rather an unfortunate event earlier today when I attempted to purchase a gift."

His smile was in place as he got closer to her yet she knew him well enough to sense his nerves. She shakily got to her feet holding out her hand to him.

She found her voice. "It's so good to see you Joseph."

"And you my dear." He took her hand and kissed the back of it.

She felt he wanted to say more but held himself back and pulled out her chair indicating for her to sit.

"I have it under good authority that the menu is open for us this evening, anything you would like, anything at all."

"Well, how wonderfully extravagant." She smiled and reached for her champagne glass taking a sip.

"You look wonderful." His hands lay folded together on the table as he gazed at her. "Very well."

She swallowed her champagne. "Thank you."

"You've kept well obviously. Three months…" He trailed off.

"Almost four." She added quietly.

Now his smile was genuine. "Goodness I've missed you."

She smiled in return.

"I've missed you so much Clarisse."

She was going to respond when the outer door opened and Andrew approached.

"Good evening your majesty." He dipped his head and Clarisse found the move uncomfortable.

Joseph held up his hand. "Please, not so formal, just a normal guest tonight. Now what do we recommend this evening?"

"Sir, tonight Chef has prepared…"

Clarisse found she wasn't even listening to what Andrew was listing for dinner; she was circling the rim of her glass with her forefinger, trying not to stare at Joseph. He looked so good, she'd forgotten, tried to forget. She remembered the last time they'd spoken, the odd phone call that evening when he'd rang from Genovia to inform her he had returned safely. The letter a few days ago, the funny postcard from Sweden before that.

"Clarisse, anything in particular you'd like?"

"Oh, whatever you choose will be perfectly fine."

"Alright." His smile was infectious, enigmatic, desirable.

* * *

Leaning across the table Clarisse knocked her glass against Joseph's.

"What shall we toast?" He said swirling the bronze liquid in the bottom of his brandy glass.

"Oh, how about a truly glorious meal."

"Agreed, should we toast to anything more?"

"And what more could there be to toast to?" She realised now they were flirting openly, had been flirting for the majority of the meal. Apparently three months apart hadn't dampened any of their attraction.

"Well, I was wondering if you'd like to join me for a drink at the hotel…" He dropped off when he noted the look on her face. "Sorry."

"There's no need to be… well, I, I erm, I have a room there."

"Good, I asked Richard to take care of it. It seems unfair you should have to pay for my bringing you here."

"I can pay for my own hotel room, and it was my decision to come here." She sat back in her chair.

"Goodness I've said the wrong thing again, I always manage to don't I."

"No, more often than not you say exactly the right thing." She drained her brandy. "As I am already staying in the hotel it seems rude not to have a drink with you."

* * *

In the back of his Rolls Joseph felt that familiar tingle of uncertainty begin in his stomach. The odd feeling she always brought with her, the feeling that he possibly couldn't handle this right, that he would mess it all up again and lose the best thing that he'd ever had.

"You're suddenly quiet." She said breaking his thoughts.

"Sorry, musing on things, the last time we were together."

"Ahh, rather different surroundings." She turned on the leather seat moving closer to him. "Joseph, why did you call me?"

"You know why, the same reason I sent the letter and that ridiculous postcard. The same reason I followed you to England after you left the palace, I can't be without you, and the more I am with you the more I want. Those two weeks we spent together…" he shook his head. "God I crave you, I dream about you, knowing I can never…"

She placed a finger to his lips. "Dear, dear Joseph." She said gently. "I missed you too." She placed a soft tender kiss to his trembling lips. "That was all you had to say."

* * *

It took mere minutes for Joseph to get to his suite, longer to sneak Clarisse in. He strutted about the lounge area completely on edge, his jacket discarded on the chair. The room was warm, the lamps on, his mind wouldn't function correctly, he couldn't settle, couldn't think straight.

Finally there was a timid knock at the door and she entered the room.

"Sorry I took so long, it seemed rude not to have a chat with Richard, after all he was sneaking me in."

She removed her coat and scarf and laid them on a chair. "It's not so cold in here." She whispered. "Thank you by the way."

"For?" His voice almost failed him.

"The gift you sent for my birthday."

"You knew?"

"Nobody else would be able to send me so many fresh Roses in October."

"Ahh, I knew I should have attached a card." He stepped closer to her.

"The sentiment was clear." She took a few steps closer to him; close enough to hear his breath catch in his throat.

"God, you're so beautiful, so very beautiful."

She smiled. "You know I don't need your flattery anymore." Her body came into contact with his. "Yet despite my reservations I just adore hearing you say it."

When her mouth finally touched his he almost cried out in relief, it wasn't a kiss born of lust or desire; it was purity, completeness, two halves coming together again in one fluid motion.

He hardly dare move, he only managed to bring one hand up to her shoulder, as her mouth trembled against his. Smiling she pulled back slightly.

"We used to be better at it than that." She fiddled with his shirt collar. "Fumbling teenagers."

He smiled at her words, at the softness to her voice.

"Shall we have some wine? And perhaps just talk."

She nodded. "I'd like that."

* * *

Clarisse stretched her legs out in front of her, slipping her shoes off and digging her toes into the luxurious carpet beneath her. The firelight felt good on her bare arms, the room was scented and warm, comforting, and she felt as if she closed her eyes she would drift to sleep sitting right there.

Joseph paused as he entered the lounge, they'd given up on the wine and he'd ordered tea, now as he stood there holding the tray he felt rather foolish. She was astonishing, magnificent, and there they were drinking tea! Yet she had requested it.

He stepped closer towards her, silently crossing the room and placed the tray down on the small table. "Shall I pour?" He whispered.

Her eyes flickered open and she sighed deeply. "Yes, please." She stretched her legs again. "It's so lovely in here Joseph, being royal does have its advantages."

He looked up at her, noting her teasing smile. "Being royal means you don't have to pour your own tea, yet I seem to be doing just that."

He knelt down and handed her a small china cup. "You do bring me down a peg or two, as the saying goes."

"Well then that's good, you should always remain grounded."

"Ahh, well now Mia does that for me. She knows nothing of meetings, time keeping, respectful church services where one should remain silent on a Sunday morn."

He sat down with his own cup a little way off from Clarisse, sipping his tea and gazing at her.

"It seems you have fallen in love since we last saw each other."

He gulped.

"With your granddaughter." She quickly added.

"Oh yes, very much so, head over heels." He smiled reverently then added. "I have pictures."

"But of course, I expect nothing less."

He hurried to his feet and for a brief moment left the room again then returned with a photo album under his arm.

"Here you go."

Sitting down on the rug again he handed the book to her.

"So many already." She smiled as she flipped it open. "Ohhh Joseph, she's just gorgeous. Look at those eyes, amazing." She gently touched the picture of baby Amelia staring up wide-eyed at the camera.

"Like her father." Joseph whispered.

"Like her grandfather." Clarisse explained. "Just like her grandfather."

"Well thank you, though I think Mia has the looks in the family."

"She is beautiful."

"You are." He said without thought, he had unconsciously leant closer to her as they both looked down at the pictures.

She never lifted her face up to show she had even registered his comment, choosing to ignore it she flipped over the page and giggled.

"Goodness, look at you there."

He glanced at the picture and grimaced. "I'm sure I told them to throw that one away."

She chuckled again as she stared down at the sight, King Joseph flat on his back with a baby balancing on his chest, both fast asleep, both with their mouths open…

"I never even did that with my own children, I think I'm getting a little soft in my old age."

"No, I think you just realised that some things are important."

"Yes, I did."

Taking a deep breath she closed the book. "Thank you for sharing those with me."

"You are very welcome." He took the book from her and placed it on the couch.

"Being a grandfather certainly seems to suit you, you seem quite relaxed, quite happy and content."

"You mean not in so much of a state as when you last saw me."

"I didn't say that." She sighed regretfully. "I didn't mean to imply that."

"I know, you're far too polite. But it's true, I was in a state."

"I hardly helped, besides neither of us seemed very…" she paused as she searched for apt words, finally she settled on, "in control." She shrugged and lifted her teacup to her mouth. "It's wonderfully clichéd, you think you get to our age and know everything, and yet life seems to have a way of still being able to creep up and kick you in the backside."

He laughed. "That's not how I would have termed it but you're right, it does."

Both were silent, Clarisse leant back on the chair again; eyes closed as she circled the rim of her cup with her little finger. Joseph gazed into the fire, he couldn't help but dwell on the fact that they were there together and would probably never get any further than that. With her everything felt right yet at the back of his mind he was battling with the thought that if he did lean across and kiss her now it would be one amazing night followed by some screwed up heartbreaking morning.

"May I ask you something?" He said, his voice barely even a whisper.

"Of course." She said gently without opening her eyes.

"How did you do it, I mean get over Stephen, all those years ago. Being so in love with him, how did you get used to not being with him?"

She struggled for a few moments with her reply, then finally she opened her eyes and looked towards him. He still stared into the fire.

"Or did you never, I mean did you ever get over him?"

"Yes…" she nodded her head. "Yes, it wasn't easy and I'm not saying it didn't hurt, but I did."

He grimaced and dropped his head in resignation.

"But things were different. The way I felt for him…"

"You loved him, totally…"

"In a way," she interrupted. "But not like… it wasn't like this, yes it was love, but it was young love, lust and excitement, different to this, and he hardly treated me well. Not like you have, did," she shrugged. "It wasn't anything like what we had."

"Had?" He finally looked up at her. "Meaning it's already gone?"

"Joseph. We shouldn't do this, it won't help neither of us."

"Perhaps I just need some closure."

"Didn't we have that? Wasn't that phone call just that? Closure for you, you left me Joseph…"

"You told me to go! What was I supposed to do? I didn't know what to do!"

"Neither did I…" She closed her eyes momentarily. "Let's not do this, I don't want to end tonight arguing. It's been wonderful to see you, to talk to you, to see how you are."

Joseph struggled to his feet and crossed the lounge to the bar; uncorking a bottle he poured two large Brandy's.

He downed his almost instantly then poured himself another, savouring the hot bitter sensation as it lazily slid down his throat. He felt his chest burning with the liquor, his heart beating with intensity.

Clarisse had moved to the front of the fire and rubbed her arms as she sat there by it, the light flickered on her face, he could see the curve of her neck as she held her head to one side. The long streamline shape of her spine, he remembered kissing all the way down it, the freckles she had on her skin, the softness of it, the way she smelt. The memories assaulted his senses and combined with the shot of strong liquor he found himself feeling a little dizzy.

He still wanted her. He always had.

He moved to stand by the edge of the large rug, a glass in each hand.

"Did my heart love till now, forswear it sight, for I ne'er saw true beauty till this night."1 His voice almost broke as he quoted the words to her.

This time she turned to look at him, watched him as he knelt in front of her.

"You are still, and always have been since the moment I met you, my everything. Day and night, each thought revolves around you. I can't seem to function as I once did, can't seem to enjoy life as I once did because my life is going on, and your life is going on, separately. And we shouldn't be apart, do you understand that? Do you even feel a little of what I do… Clarisse?"

She allowed herself a little smile.

"I was foolish to think I could come here and we wouldn't do this, foolish to think you and I could just sit here now as friends and nothing more."

He swallowed uneasily. "Is that some kind of answer?"

* * *

_1 Romeo & Juliet, Act 1 Scene 5_

_Well sorry to leave you on a cliffhanger, hopefully won't take me too long to update... PLEASE review! Thanks x Rhonda_


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer:** Don't own them, never will, just having a little fun.

**Author's Note:** Well of course there's an uncut version to this chapter! If you'd like to read it visit my CJ webpage or email me & i'll send it along. Otherwise enjoy this, hopefully the next installment won't be too far away.

**Fallen** - _Part 28_

Without thought Clarisse reached forward and touched Joseph's mouth, stroked his bottom lip then down across his beard.

He was trembling as she touched him, she suddenly felt very much in control of the situation as she took the glasses from his hands and placed them on the tray with their empty cups.

On her knees she moved forward, closer to him, the heat from the fire suddenly felt intense and she was burning, her skin prickling as she got closer to him. She felt his breath on her cheek as she placed her hands on his shoulders.

She lowered her face to his and kissed his forehead, stroking the back of his neck as she did so, then down over his brow, closing her eyes and moving her face down over his, their noses touching, their skin instantly tingling at the slightest touch.

Suddenly she felt his hands on her back, his palms outstretched as he stroked up her spine, she flinched at the touch, at the memory of what his touch could do. He kissed her chin, almost in reflex and reassurance and suddenly her mouth was against his.

She could barely breathe, could barely move, she was almost in his lap, her hands gripping his shoulders, his hands still gently resting on her back.

Their lips stroked each other's, gently and teasingly, she heard the breath catch in his throat and he heard her murmur something. His hold on her tightened as he held her closer and she groaned deeply as the kiss itself deepened.

Opening her mouth to him she felt his tongue caress her own, licking and tasting and devouring each other as they had those few months ago. Right now it felt like forever since they'd last kissed, it felt like forever since he'd last touched her and been a part of her body.

It took seconds for her to dispose of his shirt, and before she was aware of it even happening she realised he had lifted her dress clean over her head and thrown it aside.

He laid her back and kissed down between her breasts, wordlessly worshipping this body he had spent so many nights craving for, aching for…

She pushed his trousers and boxers down with little effort and gazed at him in the firelight, magnificent again, healthy and glowing with adoration as he kissed her stomach.

Suddenly she was impatient and she lifted herself forward to straddle him again, resting on his lap she pushed herself forward to his erection, a clean sweep of heat shot through her as she came into contact with him. Longing and desire in one immeasurable pulsating strand running through her core.

He smiled and kissed her face, stroking her hair back.

"I want to feel all of you," he said hoarsely. "I've missed your body so much I can't even find the words, I want you in my arms naked, to feel you as mine again."

Leaning her head forward she kissed his mouth hotly. "I've always been yours, I never stopped… not for a second."

Lying on her back again she allowed him to peel each stocking from her legs, stroking her skin, right down to her ankles and the soles of her feet.

He returned to her face and kissed her again, leaving her breathless, moving down her neck he nuzzled beneath her chin, licking the softest part of her body, the tender spot at the base of her throat. He felt her shiver beneath him, felt one of her legs fold over his, he was barely able to restrain himself, he was almost grateful for the barrier of her underwear otherwise he would be inside her now.

He slid his hands beneath her back and lifted her up to him, kissing her again, her hands were on the back of his head tickling him with her fingertips as he unclasped her bra. When he lay her back down he almost cried as he felt the warmth and fullness of her breasts in his hands again, her nipples firm in his fingertips.

Moving his mouth over each one he teased and fondled them with his tongue until she moaned so loud he was certain the guard outside the main entrance must have heard her.

"Joseph…" Placing her hands on his chest she pushed him back and sat up with him.

He watched mesmerised as she removed her panties and sat in front of him. Taking his hands in hers she positioned them until he was sitting in the centre of the rug, her legs around his, she moved closer until her breasts brushed against his chest.

"This is what you want?" He said huskily, stroking her hair with one hand, holding onto her shoulder with the other.

"Yes." She breathed leaning in to kiss him again. "Yes."

* * *

He was stroking her back, still holding her tight against him, kissing her shoulder and neck, still whispering those words.

"I love you so much, I need you, all the time, my love, my darling…"

She gasped, gulped and struggled to release her arm from his hold, she wanted to wipe her face, to rub the tears away.

"Clarisse…" He finally loosened his hold a little, "Clarisse?" he forced her to look at him. "Oh god I hurt you?"

She shook her head forcefully. "No, it's me, I'm so stupid, so bloody stupid."

"Darling?" He stroked her tears away, desperately trying to make sense of what was happening, of why she was so upset.

She tried to push his hands away, embarrassed by her own reaction, her own weakness.

"I thought it would be okay, that I could do this… I can do this…" she shook her head as more tears violently spilled down her cheeks, hot and salty like they were branding her for being so foolish.

"Clarisse, I don't understand…"

"It's me, ridiculous, so stupid. I wanted this. I'm so stupid!" She shook against him desperately trying to breathe but her lungs seemed unable to take in the air and she could hardly speak. "I love you, don't you understand that, I'm so in love with you… and it hurts damn it. It hurts so much."

Her hands seemed to pound into his chest for a second before she sagged against him sobbing, though he wasn't sure if it were out of sadness, pain or sheer relief.

Stroking her hair until the sobs lessened Joseph finally laid her down on the rug and lay beside her, her back to his chest.

She still gulped and shivered despite the warmth of the fire, and he leant over her, kissing her shoulder and stroking her hip until she finally spoke again.

"I didn't realise it would happen, that I could feel like that, it was too much."

"I would have stopped, I thought you…"

"I know, it's not your fault." She reached up to his hand and he took hers with relief closing his eyes briefly as the moment seemed to still around him.

"Why didn't you say it before?"

"Because I wasn't sure, because I was scared, because I didn't want it to be true."

"Clarisse." He said her name with such warmth she almost burst into tears again.

Turning she lay on her back and looked up at him, her body ached, the skin of her face felt sore and dry with tears, their was still an overwhelming aching that seemed to centre in her chest and ease its way around her body, and between her legs she felt hot and tight, so open and naked in front of him, more than she ever had before.

Folding her fingers with his she kissed his hand and he leant down over her, his body shielding hers from the firelight.

"But it's true, tell me it's true, tell me again…"

As she looked up into his eyes she couldn't help but see the honesty there, the pureness of heart he had, the complete love for her. There was no point hiding this anymore, she had nothing more to hide anyway.

"I love you," she whispered. "I love you more than anyone or anything… in my entire life, I feel everything you feel Joseph, god help me I love you, completely and utterly."

Finally.

Relief hit him in a tidal wave. The emotion rose up inside of him fierce and savage as it coiled itself around his heart. Relentless in his grip. Ravishing him in its intensity.

Love.

This time he cried, silent tears eased their way along his face, she watched him, unable to stop it, unwilling to.

In a dream he seemed to lurch forward over her and press his mouth down onto hers, he tasted of salt, she gripped his shoulders and before she was even aware it had happened he had lifted her up into his arms.

Her eyes were closed, her face pressed against his chest; it felt warm and secure, encased in his warmth and fragrance as she glided weightlessly across the room.

It was cooler in the bedroom, she realised where they were instantly, heard him click the door shut behind them and carry her up the three steps that led to his bed. The sheets beneath her were crisp and cold as he lay her down.

He knelt next to her, arranging the pillows, peeling the sheets back and waiting as she pulled herself up beneath them.

Settling back she gazed up at the ceiling, the canopy above them, all that silk draped over the bed, the sturdy wooden posts at each corner adorned with carvings, the bed sheets embroidered in gold. She'd never seen his bedroom at the Palace, but she'd often imagined it would look something like this.

He lay next to her and took her in his arms, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

She snuffled and took a deep breath as he smiled at her.

She felt rather self-conscious as he stared at her, stroking her face, her hair, her neck.

"I always imagined what your bed was like…" She whispered croakily.

"Not like this." He replied.

"Bigger?"

"A little, but not a four-poster."

"Why not?" She watched as he smiled broadly and ran his finger along her lower lip.

"I'm not really a fan of them… and just what were you doing imagining my bed Madam?"

"Just…" she chewed down on her bottom lip. "Nothing." She shrugged.

"You know I've imagined you saying those words to me for so long now… so long."

"I know, I'm sorry I hurt you, sorry I said I didn't… I didn't know how too, I didn't want too, Rose made me accept that it was the truth."

He smiled and rubbed the tip of her nose with his. "And it's that bloody awful?"

"It's excruciating."

He sighed deeply. "These months apart, not knowing, trying to forget… We could have…"

"Could have what?" Her eyes were wide and bright with tears. "Nothing's changed Joseph. Nothing. You're still who you are and I'm still who I am, how do we possibly…" She paused as a sob caught in her throat.

"Please don't cry, I seem to bring you nothing but heartache."

"No." she snuffled squeezing his hands. "No you don't, I smile just thinking of you."

He could help but feel totally overwhelmed with joy at such a small admittance.

Kissing her forehead his voice took on a low gentle whisper as he spoke. "Remember you once asked me to take you away somewhere, do you remember that?"

She nodded mutely.

"We were on the balcony."

"It was snowing." She added.

"Yes, it was. I've never wanted to fulfil a wish more in my life, right now there is nothing more I'd rather do."

"But you can't… we can't." She said solemnly.

"How do we go on? How do we…"

"Shhh," she lifted her head up and kissed his mouth. "I wish I knew… I wish…"

"Tell me what you wish my darling."

She rolled onto her side. "God I wish I didn't feel this way, I wish we'd never met, I wish I didn't know what it meant to be with you."

"Surely you don't mean that."

She groaned and buried her face in the pillow. "I wish you weren't always right."

He chuckled. "That I can't help I'm afraid."

"Oh Joseph," she glanced up at him. "Joseph I'm exhausted, I haven't slept properly since your letter. The travelling today, worrying myself stupid over really idiotic things… which bloody dress to put on! And now…"

"Confessional time."

"Yes…" She groaned again. "I don't want to feel like this."

"Why not?"

"Because it's messy and difficult, because I'm too tired. Too much wine and sitting in front of that fire. And making love."

Now Joseph grimaced. "Badly. I'm sorry, I never thought our 'next time' would turn out so disastrously."

She reached up and stroked his chin. "You've grown your beard."

"A little, I like it shorter, the grey doesn't show as much."

"I'm putting on weight."

"No you aren't!"

"Yes I am, my hips, and my hair won't do what I want it to do."

He pulled her closer to him, feeling her warm body soft against his. "These are the reasons I've missed you my dear. You make me smile."

"I've missed this too, I miss talking to you. With you. And the sex doesn't matter."

"Yes it does, I wanted to love you properly."

"You are, right now. You always do, I realised that while we were apart."

He kissed her slowly, stroking the back of her neck with his thumb.

"Joseph…" she breathed. "Damn it why can't we just be simple? Why can't it just be us?"

Sighing he closed his eyes and seemed to melt into the pillow beneath his head.

"Happiness might be overrated anyway." She said sarcastically.

"Hmm, perhaps."

Lying next to him she rested her head against his upper chest, she could feel him kiss the top of her head before he reached over and switched the lamps off.

Together they lay in the darkness wrapped around one another, stroking each other's bodies with their own.

"Say it again." He whispered into the blackness.

She smiled slightly. "I love you Joseph…"

"I love you too."

"Unfortunately." She added coyly.

* * *

_Please leave me a review! xxx Rhonda_


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer:** Don't own and definitely make no money from this

**Author's Note: **Bit of a shorter chapter, basically am very preoccupied with work & other writing stuff at the moment but still plodding on with this best as i can. Just wanted to kind of tie upthis new stage in their life before moving on to the next bit... enjoy.

**Fallen** - _Part 29_

Clarisse woke several times in the night, unsure of where she was, each time she'd felt Joseph's arm over hers, holding her securely against his body and each time she'd drifted back to sleep, content. Yet it was this nagging thought at the back of her head, the idea that when morning came it would once again mean separation, that continually woke her.

At around 5 she abandoned the idea of sleep completely and lay in the darkness listening to him breathe. Feeling the rise and fall of his chest against her back, she'd never realised how much she'd missed it.

Turning in his arms she laid her palm on his upper chest, then bent her mouth down and gently kissed him. Manoeuvring her body on top of his she lay perfectly still placing sweet kisses over his shoulders and chest until she felt his hands wandering over her back.

Lifting her head up slightly their mouths easily found the other, sticky in the early morning but such a pure admittance of affection.

"I'd forgotten how demanding you were." He said huskily as their lips had barely parted.

She smiled and rubbed her chin against his beard. "I've been without the best for long enough now I think…"

"Do you plan to wake me every morning at 5:30 for this?"

Chuckling she finally paused in her gentle teasing and looked up at him, bringing her head level with his. His fingers wound into her hand, stroking her scalp.

"I've been thinking, all night."

"Me too, I noticed you kept waking. I hoped it wasn't the fact you were sleeping with me again."

"Hardly!" She kissed his forehead. "Joseph, dear Joseph, I've been thinking that I don't want to be without you anymore."

"Oh?" he barely allowed himself to hope, but perhaps… perhaps?

"I know it wouldn't work, marriage, going back to Genovia, I couldn't do that. But I know now that we shouldn't be apart for too long."

"I don't understand."

"I'm not sure it will work, we can only try right? In the end, we can only try. And I so want this to work… what if every time you were here, in the U.K. we met up?"

"Met up?"

"Well I mean, I could come meet you, stay wherever you are, for however long you would be there." She shook her head mockingly. "And don't look at me like that, I realise this goes against all I believe in, making me some sort of beck and call type woman. But if we made it work, we could make it work, couldn't we?"

He swallowed, it wasn't really the solution he wanted but hell he'd take crumbs now if they were on offer.

"If that's really what you want, but my dear I'm not in London that often you know. Every few months perhaps."

Oh…" she looked a little crestfallen and rested her forehead against his.

"But I'm in Europe quite a lot, as you know, Paris, Madrid, no reason for you not to join me there…"

She glanced at his eyes, at the hope that lay there. "I'm not sure, it's awkward… difficult, if we meet here I feel safe. If I start to travel all over to be with you it becomes more suspect does it not? I don't want people to know Joseph, still… I don't want to be thought the King's Mistress."

"I know, I know…" he stroked her hair again. "But darling people will have to be in on it, we certainly can't arrange this between us, Richard does all the travel, the hotels, the cars, everything. I certainly don't want to have my every evening taken up with boring dinners when you're with me. He'll have to know."

She mulled it over for a second then nodded solemnly. "Yes, yes he will. I accept that."

"And security."

"Why?" She gasped.

"Because sweetheart they watch my every move. They're trained too, and sure enough they will notice you. Besides I don't want them bursting into our suite if you're there changing." He squeezed her waist, a move of reassurance and tenderness.

"I don't like the idea of them gossiping…"

"I know, but that is out of my hands I'm afraid. They'll be briefed, given what information they need and that's all. They know what silence they must keep, all we can do is hope each one of them believes in that."

"Ohhh it's so disconcerting, so unsure and complicated. I wanted it to be simple, I thought," she shrugged, "I guess in the middle of the night it seemed simple, meeting you in your hotel. I forget all you have to take into consideration, the risks you take to be with me."

"Oh no, it is you who takes the risks, and for that I am eternally grateful." He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. "In all honesty I want you with me each and every morning but if this is all we can have then I will take very single second I can and pray to God we can make it work."

She nodded. "We will. If we work together at it."

She kissed him again, slowly and languidly. This time she felt no uncertainty or unease about their touching, about their bodies meeting. She knelt over him, let his hands work their way up her thighs and ease himself inside her with so much tenderness and sweetness, their movements seemed to have been rehearsed a thousand times yet were as fresh and new as the morning that steadily approached.

"Clarisse," he breathed as she leant over him, as her hair swept over his face. "You've touched my soul…"

She stilled at his words, kissed his trembling lips. "You say such things to me, I'm not sure how to respond… I'm not used to it." She brushed her hair back from her face and took hold of his face in her hands. "You are the only man who has ever had my heart, completely."

"And you can be assured I won't be letting go this time."

"I trust in that."

"Good, because now this is forever Clarisse, married or not, it's till death do us part…"

"Don't say that, I hoped forever meant just that…"

She captured his mouth again and tenderly resumed their lovemaking.

* * *

Taking a mouthful of grapefruit Joseph closed his eyes as the bitter juice burst into his mouth, the morning felt fresh and vibrant and his breakfast seemed a perfect compliment to that.

He lounged back in his chair and picked up his teacup as he glanced out of the windows overlooking the city.

From his position he could clearly see the famous landscape, over the Thames to the Houses of Parliament, magnificent and grand, Big Ben proud and erect, ever firm against the harshness of the world. For some reason it all looked new to him, everything seemed new and bold and bright. He was filled with a happiness that was indescribable, a completeness of soul he'd never known.

"Clarisse." He called. "Are you ever coming out of there?"

Within moments she emerged from the bedroom, glancing about the room rather sheepishly.

"We are alone," he assured her. "And I ordered enough breakfast to last one man for a week. Come sit with me."

Cautiously she crossed from the bedroom through to the dining area.

"Your room is better than mine." She quipped sitting down across from him.

"Well from now on we share." He poured her tea. "Tell me just what you have been filling your time with these past few months with?"

She sipped her tea. "What you really mean is, have I been sitting alone weeping over you?"

"Something like that." He smiled.

"Well, Rose attempted to organise several rendezvous with some friend of Martin's…"

What? Am I so easily replaced?"

"No, which was the problem, I was a real misery through each and every 'couple' dinner I had to sit through."

Joseph chuckled loudly and leant back in his chair again.

"Go on dear… you're buffing my ego here."

"I thought I already did that once this morning."

"Touché!"

"Ha, well I've kind of got involved with the local swimming club."

"Kind of? What does 'kind of' mean?"

"It means," she stretched her legs out and reached for his half eaten grapefruit.

"Ahh there are two of those you know."

"I know, but yours tastes better I'm sure." She took a spoonful and grimaced pushing the bowl aside. "No wonder I never eat this for breakfast." Instead she buttered a piece of toast. "So it means that I'm there so often that Harry…"

"Erm Harry?"

"The guy who teaches the classes for the children."

"Should I be worried?"

"I don't think so dear, besides jealousy doesn't suit you. Now will you allow me to finish?"

He smirked. "Go on, please."

"Well I'm there so often he asked me if I wanted to help at the club, teaching there."

"Swimming?"

"Of course swimming, what else would I teach needlework!"

"Alright madam go on."

"It's the girls, some of their parents aren't entirely comfortable with the idea of a man teaching them, especially as they …Erm, develop."

He laughed out loud at the sight of her tracing an invisible female body in the air.

"And what's funny about that?"

"Nothing, it's your curvy air body that amused me."

"For your information I was good in art at school."

"The muse for many a young man's fantasies I'm sure."

"Behave. Anyway I haven't accepted yet."

"Why not?"

"Because I haven't decided if I want to do it, I'm not very good with children."

"You like to think you aren't, but I tend to believe you were the most popular aunt."

"They only had one, Martin has no siblings."

"That's neither here nor there."

She leant forward and refilled her tea. "You think I should do it?"

"Of course, I think you'd be marvellous at it. You're marvellous at anything you do."

"Very true!" She grinned and rested her hand on his. "Have you spoken to Richard yet?"

"No," he rubbed her fingers. "I thought I'd wait until we were back in Genovia."

"Which is?"

"We leave tomorrow morning I'm afraid." He gently held her wrist. "I'm sorry reunion is so short lived, in an ideal world I'd like to sweep you off your feet and take you on a winter trip to somewhere hot and exotic."

"Sounds perfect, I'll set my sights on it for January."

"You do that, January is usually a slow month." Folding his fingers with hers he lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed it repeatedly. "I promise…" He turned her hand over and kissed the palm of her hand. "I will be back here in less that two weeks, which right now seems like eternity."

"It does, will you be in London?"

"Yes, for a few days I think, I will speak with Richard, have him brief my security team and I'm hoping you will be able to meet me here."

"I think it could be arrange, well timed Christmas shopping for a few days, what could be better?"

"Erm, two weeks on a deserted beach…"

"Apart from that," She leant over the table and kissed him, "I love you."

"I love you too."

She sat back down selecting another piece of toast and buttering that too.

"Clarisse, you are certain about all this, because once it starts…"

"Yes, yes I'm certain, I'm terribly nervous but I'm absolutely sure I would regret it if we didn't try… but if my reputation gets splattered all over the tabloids I will disappear to some country and change my name… on your money!"

"I'd probably come with you." He grinned. "But in all seriousness I'll do everything possible to prevent that scenario from ever happening."

"Thank you… now, I assume we have at least a few hours together before you have to disappear."

He nodded.

"So, have some toast and lets discuss how you are going to entertain me for the day."

* * *

The train ride back home seemed to take a lifetime; Clarisse had attempted to read but gave up after struggling through two chapters and still not having any idea what the story actually was.

She settled back in her chair and closed her eyes; the train was empty and quiet and she was grateful for the solitude. In all honesty she was exhausted, a fitful night's sleep and so much had happened that she'd barely had time to absorb all the changes. On the one hand she was desperately unsure, afraid of what the future held now, of what her life would now become. On the other she was deliriously happy and very deeply in love.

It was a balance, she decided, she was willing to walk, she wasn't about to trade that love in for more loneliness. Not anymore.

Sighing she opened her eyes and glanced out of the window, they were almost back, another 30 minutes and she'd be at the station. Joseph would be at his dinner now, some political thing; she turned her watch over and took in the time… she hoped he would call before bed.

The thought gave her an idea and she lifted her bag from the floor and took out her mobile, she was still so clumsy with these things, it looked like child's play when she saw some young person with it, yet she had to find her glasses and study the screen intensely before she was actually confident of calling who she wanted to.

The phone rang several times and she drummed her fingernails on the table waiting for an answer.

"Harry hello it's Clarisse… yes I'm very well thank you I had a lovely weekend. And you?" She smiled as she listened to him, such a traditional Cornish fellow, so undeniably good-natured. "Listen I just wanted to call and say I've decided to accept that post, if you still need me… marvellous, I'll call in tomorrow morning to discuss the fine print. Yes I'm looking forward to it too, goodnight."

Smiling proudly she snapped the phone shut, perhaps this wasn't going to be an easy turn in events but for the most part she felt good about the changes she was making. Changes for the better.

The phone buzzed in her hand and, startled, she looked down at it. 'Joseph'.

She grinned broadly and opened it up.

"Hello darling…"

Definitely changes for the better, she decided settling back to hear all about his evening.

* * *

_Please leave me a little review! Thanks x R_


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer:** Don't own these characters, names, places etc etc. But do own the story!

**Author's Note:** Ahhhhhh SO very sorry! I'm such a terrible person taking so long to do this, and i'm afraid it's not gonig to get much better! You've probably all forgotten the story by now but PLEASE stick with me, i am writing this - just getting distracted by other projects at the same time. It will get finished and until it does please just enjoy :-)

**Fallen -** _Part 30_

Pierre may have spent a great deal of time away from his home country over the past ten years but some things never changed, the blueness of the Genovian sky, pears in every fruit bowl in almost every room in the palace, the smell of his father's cologne when you entered his private suite, Christmas skiing in the mountains… but one thing, one thing had definitely changed whilst he'd been away.

He saw it in every staff member he encountered, in their smiles and warm greetings, it was almost tangible in the air, and he'd felt it the moment he stepped back into the palace.

The reason for this change however still remained something of a mystery. Of course over the course of the year things had improved beyond comparison in all of their lives with the birth of Amelia, she had affected his father perhaps the most, he'd never seen the old guy looking so relaxed and content than when he was holding that baby.

Yet that wasn't it.

He'd seen his father after the birth, spent a month with the family celebrating. Now, coming home for Christmas, he'd noticed a further development. The smile upon King Joseph's face appeared to be permanent. He was more easy-going than ever and far more tolerant and willing to just sit and play Chess with his sons, he never used to have time even for a brief chat. The only thing Pierre could put it down to was that he was aging and had decided to take things a little easier… either that or…

Well he hadn't entertained that idea for very long, the idea of his father even having time to find himself a companion was beyond belief. Add to that the fact that he had been a widow for almost twenty years now there had never been even a inkling that he'd even been interested in another woman let alone romantically pursued any.

And yet he couldn't shake the idea.

Then of course they had all been shocked when he'd announced their usual New Year celebration would be going ahead with one major difference that year, he wouldn't be there. Forty years of private New Year parties at the palace had revolved around the King himself leading the celebrations.

This year it was left to the two princes to host the occasion.

Lifting the champagne flute to his lips Pierre took a quick sip and smiled at his brother dancing with Helen. With a wedding planned for the New Year things looked set for the future. He was happy for his brother, happy for the both of them, now Helen had lived this life for the past year, all be it quietly and somewhat secretively, she had taken well to it and it appeared that she was ready to take her place formally beside Philippe.

Pierre was glad for it, glad that Philippe was settled with the woman he loved, and glad for his father, for now he had what he'd always hoped for. A future for the monarchy. Pierre wondered if perhaps his father might consider stepping down early now, it was a thought that had occurred more and more to him over the past ten years. Joseph did seem awfully weary at times, maybe it would be good for him to 'retire', maybe it would be good for the monarchy as a whole, a shaking up of it if you like. Seeing it as a job, seeing that chance to retire as something compensating after god knows how many years of dedication.

Pierre noted the time, twenty minutes to go, Philippe would begin the speeches soon, he himself had a few words to say, mostly passing on his father's well wishes. He wondered where his father was now, just what matter of vital importance had drawn him away from the celebrations. He'd be back by January 3rd but still it was unlike his father to simply disappear… though Helen had mentioned a similar occurrence in the summer.

Perhaps there was more to this, perhaps changes were afoot that he didn't fully understand. He'd quiz his brother again later, was there a woman? Or was this simply a matter of King Joseph growing tired of all eyes being focused on him?

* * *

"Ten minutes to go." Clarisse murmured sleepily.

Her eyes felt awfully heavy, heavy with sleep, heavy with the heat of gazing at the fire.

The log cabin was perfectly… perfectly perfect, she decided with a smile. And it was just like Joseph to find somewhere like this for them to spend their few days alone over the festive season. A place hidden away in some winter wonderland where they could welcome in the New Year.

She shuffled slightly and felt his arm tighten over her; she stroked it with her fingertips, feeling the soft hairs on his arm brush back and forth at her touch. His breath was warm on her shoulder and occasionally his lips would gently caress her skin there.

Yes, this entire thing was perfectly perfect! She was sure he must have arranged it all, right down to the hot chocolate and marshmallows! From the moment she'd stepped off the plane she'd been in some kind of dream world. Escorted to a private car, driven to another location, her luggage arranged and taken care of, found Joseph waiting for her, he'd kissed her cheek, walked her away from the road and onto the deep snow and lifted her up into some huge sleigh.

She found it difficult to believe that even he could manage a sleigh! But they'd been driven, is that the right word, driven to their secluded cabin, a log fire already burning, her luggage already in their room. Since then they'd barely come up for air.

She was even more pleased by the fact that there had been neither sight nor sound of any other living being since they'd arrived. She doubted very much that the King would be left totally alone in the middle of some winter forest but she hadn't seen any security so she chose to believe nobody was watching. All the same she was careful to shut all the blinds before even attempting to walk around with no clothes on.

Now here they lay, on what felt like a million feathers beneath her, pillows stacked everywhere, candles burning, the fire, the champagne, the thick blankets over their naked bodies, counting down on her watch.

"You do realise," he whispered, "that here it's already new year."

"Yes, but I'm on English time."

"Then so am I." He chuckled and kissed her shoulder again.

"Didn't they mind," she twisted her head to glance back at him, "You disappearing over New Year?"

He shrugged. "Nobody questioned, I didn't offer any answers, just that I wanted some time alone." He squeezed her stomach. "I thought you were enjoying my company."

"Oh immensely." She lifted her head up and kissed him. "You've been rather energetic I've noticed… I never realised you were such a good skier."

"Very funny!" He buried his face in her hair. "I never realised you weren't very good."

"I've told you I've only ever been twice, and both times were a disaster, I spent most of my time in the bar or spa."

Laughing he leant over her and gazed down at her face.

"Does that make me unsuitable for winter skiing breaks?" She pouted, teasing.

"Oh on the contrary, you suit it perfectly, that red nose, pink cheeks…"

"Sore backside!"

He laughed again, leaning over her and adorning her chest and face with kisses.

"Joseph, stop, come on we'll miss the big countdown." She lifted her arm behind him and narrowed her eyes to take in the time. "Three minutes."

"Well I can manage it in that time." He teased settling between her legs.

"No you bloody can not, I expect nothing short of flawlessness right until we have to leave here…"

She was cut off by him kissing her, soft gentle warm kisses as he swept his lips across hers. He certainly knew how to kiss.

Sighing she lifted her arms up around his back, opening her eyes as his mouth moved to her neck. Two dark eyes were staring back at her.

"Joseph, stop, stop… I can't do it with her watching."

"Who?"

He lifted his head up.

"Holly, I think she wants something to eat, or drink." She pushed Joseph to one side as she sat up.

The chocolate Labrador happily moved to Clarisse's face and dipped her head down as Clarisse tickled her neck.

"Are you hungry my baby? Are you? Yes… you're so gorgeous you are…"

Joseph groaned as the puppy settled down on their makeshift bed.

"I don't think the puppy is hungry at all darling, I think what she wants is my place in this bed."

"Ohh don't be silly, she loves us both now, don't you Holly." She rubbed the dog's neck and smiled as it yawned and laid his head down on the blankets. "Besides you were the one who bought her for me."

"I know, a Christmas gift I hoped you'd approve of, I remember you saying that dogs made wonderful companions. Anyway," he slipped his arm around her waist again, "I hate to think of you alone in that house."

"You shouldn't worry, I'm sure it's safe." She turned over again and snuggled against him. "There you see she's asleep again now. And we have, ohh about 45 seconds to go."

"So, can I say it now?"

"Say what?"

"Happy New Year Clarisse my love."

She smiled broadly and met him halfway for a kiss.

"Happy New Year Joseph."

* * *

Pierre had called after Richard three times already and now was chasing after him down the palace corridors, he was sure he must have been heard, either his father's assistant was ignoring him or going deaf.

Nevertheless like his father Pierre kept in good shape and rounded the corner in a brief sprint, finally laying his hand on Richard's shoulder to stop him.

Spinning around Richard smiled apologetically. "Sir, I'm awfully sorry did you want me?"

Pierre breathed deeply as he spoke, his words interrupted by the odd tight breath. "Been after you all morning Richard, you seem rather elusive."

"Terribly sorry Sir, been run off my feet this morning, what with New Year and his majesty's return today."

"Well that's really what I wanted to talk to you about." He fell into step beside Richard as they headed to his office. "My father, pretty secretive, whatever's been going on with him, I noticed you didn't go."

"A personal trip I believe sir, your father insisted on only a few security members accompanying him. Luckily there were no problems whatsoever."

"And just where did they accompany to him too? If you don't mind my asking."

Richard paused by his desk, watching as Pierre slid the door shut. This was a royal prince after all, what right did he have to lie to him?

"Erm, well sir, that's something you should talk to your father about."

"Oh I intend to." He dropped down onto the leather couch smiling enigmatically at Richard. "The thing is I know my father pretty damned well and I know he doesn't disappear for four days without a good reason. And you say this isn't business. It's personal. Well he's not with his family because we are all here, lamenting his absence, which leaves only one conclusion for me to draw."

Richard cocked a curious eyebrow. "Which is?"

Pierre laughed throatily, throwing his head back. "Good lord man you look terrified, is the old man going to fire you if you reveal all the secrets." Sitting up again he slapped his legs. "Look I'm not asking for you to tell me anything, I will ask my father but I know that he won't answer if he's not ready. So… I'm biding my time, and doing a little digging along the way."

"How so sir?" Richard sank down into his chair, King Joseph had left Richard in no doubt that nobody, NOBODY, was to find out about Clarisse. Her wishes apparently not his. He didn't fully understand the reasons behind it, after all dating his majesty opened up an entire new world of wealth and upper class living to her, why hide away from that?

"I know the movers and shakers in this palace, even though I don't live her anymore. I know just who to ask for palace gossip. And I heard, on the grapevine, that my dear father had a little dalliance last year with a member of the household staff. Didn't get that all at once mind you, a little inkling of gossip from several sources that I've pieced together. Can't get her name though, although my brother tells me that our housekeeper had been making great strides in the system until she abruptly departed."

"Er Sir I think it best if you…"

"Discuss this with my father. Yes I know. And I will. In time."

Pierre got to his feet again digging his hands into his pockets. "I assume father has ordered family dinner for this evening."

"I believe so yes sir."

"Excellent, chance to see just how big the smile is on his face, measure how well the trip went by how big his smile is on return." Pierre grinned heading for the door. "Not to mention how weary he looks."

Winking at a stunned Richard he opened the door to leave.

"Oh by the way Richard, had noticed you have eyes for the delightful Charlotte, make a move hey man, before somebody else does."

Richard stared at the closed door in astonishment… eyes at Charlotte indeed. He'd done no such thing. Though she was a charming lady indeed. A very pretty lady. Not Clarisse mind but not bad, certainly not bad.

Damn royals, all of them seemed content on playing Cupid this year.

* * *

Joseph sank down into his bed and closed his eyes momentarily. He was exhausted, four rushed days of travelling back and forth; he hated travelling yet it was a necessity of the 'job'. Four days of absolute bliss with Clarisse… she had worn him out, he didn't mind admitting it, and by god he'd loved every second. He never realised sex could be that good, at his age as well!

Sighing heavily he audibly groaned and pulled the bed sheets up over his body, resting back on the plumped pillows. His customary drink was on the bedside table waiting, along with his book all laid out and prepared. He was used to this, used to being mollycoddled, having everything done for him, so much so that sometimes he didn't even have to think at all anymore. It was all there, instant. He was used to it. But he missed the freedom that came when he was away from it. He missed the freedom of not knowing what the day would bring, or what activity would occupy his time.

He missed being with her. There were times, now after everything that had occurred over the summer, when he wondered just how long he could keep this up. Maintain the pretence of being a delightfully happy monarchy who was in the latter stages of his life and enjoying his reign. When actually his heart wasn't in it anymore, actually his heart and mind were elsewhere. It wasn't that he loved his country less; it wasn't that he wanted to shirk his duty, not at all; it was just that he didn't feel able to throw himself into it with complete gusto as he used to be able to.

Still there was no point going over this again now. He would only end up going around in circles with it, over and over again questioning what he wanted to change and all the reasons why it wouldn't. Things wouldn't change. Ever. And at least they had something. As small as it might be.

Lifting his hand he reached for his mobile phone, a private line only a few had the number. He dialled quickly from memory and closed his eyes resting back on the pillows again waiting for the answer.

"Hello." She said sleepily.

"Hello yourself. No greeting of love and adoration?"

She laughed. "Oh I'm awfully sorry is that what I'm supposed to do, I shall practice for next time, think of something smart to say to greet you."

This time he laughed. "Was the flight okay?"

"Perfectly thank you, and yours."

"Yes, fine, dull but fine."

"When do I get my dog back sir? I miss her already."

"I know the feeling." He said gently. "Shouldn't take long, all the legal stuff you know. I'm rushing it through as best as I can."

"You mean Richard is."

"Yes he is, but I'd rather you show me your gratitude than him."

"Oh I will, I will." She was quiet for a moment and he heard the dripping of water.

"Clarisse honey, where are you?"

"In the bath tub, my back ached from sleeping on the damned floor. And besides, I couldn't sleep yet, I needed something to relax my mind."

"I know me too, that's why I called… it's ridiculous. How much I miss you already."

"I know. You'll feel better tomorrow, when you're back into the swing of work."

"Hmm…"

"What do you mean hmm? Grumbling old man!"

"I mean hmm…" he chuckled. "And you weren't calling me old yesterday. If memory serves you were calling me completely opposite things yesterday."

"Alright, alright, no need to bring up what I did, or didn't, scream in the heat of the moment. Tell me why we're grumbling?"

"Because, because I'm not all that sure I can keep doing this." He sighed again, heavily this time. "Honestly darling my mind isn't on work, and my heart just isn't in it."

She was quiet again, apparently mulling his words over.

He rubbed the phone in his hand, the smooth outer plastic shell imagining her lying in the bath doing the same.

"Are you still with me?"

"Yes, yes I'm here. Joseph you mustn't feel like that, you shouldn't say things like that. It's not my intention to take your mind away from your country."

"I know that, it's me not you, me obsessed with you to the point where I can't concentrate."

"That's not helping."

"You asked."

"Yes I did but, but… please Joseph." She pleaded gently. "Please don't sink into that line of thought, I'm still here and we're doing well at this whole long distance thing, don't ruin it by pondering how it could be if I was there all the time or you here. Because honestly you might tire of me."

"I doubt that very much."

"Really, how do you know, I could drive you crazy with my incessant need to clean."

He laughed loudly. "Oh darling that's why I call you up, for wonderful images like that to be implanted in my brain."

"Then go to sleep with that thought then, no more grumbling old man. We've just spent the most divine few days together."

I know, I'll think on that as I go to sleep."

"Do."

They were silent again; he listened with his eyes closed to the sound of her breathing, the odd splash of water as she moved, imagining her body pink and warm in the water. Remembering being in that very bathtub with her not so many months ago.

"Joseph, as much as I love you my fingers are growing even more wrinkly than they usually are. I need to get out."

"And you can't do it one handed?"

"Not quite yet! I'll practice."

"Do," he teased. "I guess I should sleep too, up early tomorrow, nose to the grind."

"Don't work too hard though, ease yourself back in."

"I wish I were easing my way into…"

"Joseph!" She snapped but he heard her laughter on the line. "Go to bed."

"I am in bed."

"Then go to sleep. It's late."

"It is and I will. Sleep well my love."

"And you, call me tomorrow yes?"

"Of course. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

She was the first to put the phone down, he held onto his, unwilling to end the contact, as fleeting and fake as it might be. Finally he reached out and laid the phone on the side table, switching the lamp off as he did so.

He settled back in the huge bed, glancing to the window, the moonlight was bright and lit up his room, so much so that he could look down and make out his single body shape beneath the sheets. All that space next to him vacant and unused.

He would sleep alone tonight, with only the memory of holding her body in his arms to get him through.

* * *

_Please be kind and leave me a review! Thanks xx Rhonda_


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: **Don't own any of these characters, just having a little imaginary fun!

**Author's Note: **Never has the word 'finally' seemed more apt! I'm very sorry this has taken so long to update, i stressed and chopped & changed this chapter so many times, but now i'm quitting messing with it & just posting. I hope you enjoy - and i hope even more the next one won't take so long!

**Fallen - _Part 31_**

Clarisse clapped her hands together with a short sharp slap and watched as the young ladies silently filed out of the pool area. She was in no delusions though and smiled quietly to herself when she heard their chatter float in from the changing rooms as soon as they were out of her sight. Moving to the sidelines she reached for her jacket and looked up brusquely when she heard clapping coming from the stands.

Rose. Clapping away with an amused grin on her face.

Clarisse shook her head. "And just what are you doing here?"

Rose leant on the rail in front of her, leaning down to watch as her sister tidied the girls' boards away. "Thought I'd check out the village's new coach, I always thought you should have been a teacher of some kind, far too bossy."

"Funny, what are you really doing here?" She asked shrugging her jacket on.

"Was bored, thought I'd come see you off, give you a lift to the train station if you so wish."

"That would be wonderful thanks, saves me leaving my car at the station."

"What time's your train?"

"5:30. I'll eat on the train, several hours to kill." She rolled her eyes.

"The things you do for love darling."

"Very bloody funny, I'll meet you in the car in ten minutes."

"Five." Rose called down. "Do your make-up in the car."

"Bugger off…" Clarisse answered over her shoulder as she disappeared into the office.

Harry was on the telephone and waved at her as she entered, watching as she filled in her record sheet and placed it back into the folder she'd begun to put together. He always knew she'd be methodical and organised; those girls were certainly getting a thorough training session with her.

Sliding the receiver down on the phone he swung round in his chair and folded his arms.

"You seem to be enjoying yourself out there tonight."

"Hmm, they're improving." She replied without looking up from her folder. "And Lucy is very cute, all those blonde curls. But goodness can she talk."

Harry chuckled, his eyes resting on her back as she stood on tiptoes and slid the folder onto the empty top shelf she'd claimed.

"Anything exciting this weekend?" She asked retrieving her handbag from the cupboard.

"Not really, unless of course you're free for dinner?" he said the words with an air of lightness and a smile, inwardly he'd been wondering how to ask her this for the past three weeks.

"Afraid not, maybe in the week one night." She said opening her purse and digging out her phone to check it for messages.

"Exciting plans for you?" He said nonchalantly turning back to the work on his desk.

"Hmm, visiting a friend, friends." She quickly corrected herself. "In fact I better get going, my sister is waiting outside for me. Dropping me off at the station."

"Anywhere nice?"

"Just up to London. Last train."

"Well have fun." He said without looking up.

"I will indeed. Night Harry. See you next week." She called as she headed out of the office.

* * *

"The guy fancies you." Rose smirked settling herself behind the wheel of the car.

"Shut up. You always have to gossip."

"I am not gossiping, I'm telling you the honest truth. The guy fancies you."

Clarisse threw her sweater into the back of the car and pulled on the fitted black top, running her hand through her hair and checking herself in the mirror.

"He's far too young for me."

"He's what, 38? Come on, and you know you look good."

Clarisse chuckled and dropped her head to the side offering her sister a bashful look. "Surely that isn't a compliment."

"More a fact." Rose added as she swung the car into the station car park. "Now when will you return from Mr. King?"

"Don't call him that, I shall be back late Tuesday night, I'll get a cab don't worry."

"Not staying Valentines night too."

"He's heading to Paris Tuesday afternoon. Unfortunately."

"You're not going with him?" Rose said tapping her hands on the steering wheel as she watched Clarisse stuff her clothes into a bag in the back seat.

"Obviously not, and don't start that again."

"Oh yes, this is still a big secret."

"I know you don't approve."

"It's not that I don't approve, it's just that it seems silly, for heavens sake you're both adults why the hell should you hide away?"

"You know how I feel…" sighing heavily she paused and stared at Rose. "You will feed Holly won't you."

"No I'll leave the little nuisance to starve… of course I'll feed her."

"Thank you." Clarisse smiled warmly and leant over to kiss Rose. "Enjoy your weekend."

"Oh well yes, I live a glamorous life. Enjoy yours, give my love to Joseph."

"I will." She swung her legs out of the car and Rose waited as she removed her bags from the car boot. Waving through the window as her sister headed into the station.

* * *

King Joseph was exhausted; he had flown direct from Washington, after a 14-day trip, into London. It was now 6:30 in the morning and he still had to get off the plane and through customs, into the limo and finally to Claridges. All he wanted to do was sleep, yet the mask was in place.

He reached down and buttoned his jacket as he saw Richard approaching, time for the masquerade.

* * *

Clarisse hadn't been able to sleep. Yes the rooms here were probably the most beautiful she'd ever stayed in. The service was beyond reproach. The food exquisite. The suite divine. She could have swum in the bathtub, or held a ball in the lounge. And yet with all that she hadn't been able to sleep.

Those king size beds were marvellous but not for one sleeping alone. Certainly not when she was lying there in the centre of the bed with the sounds of the rainfall outside and the memory of arriving at that self same hotel and having to check in under some obscure name, being escorted around like a china doll and 'placed' in the King's suite.

So here she was at 7:30 in the pool. A private pool at that. She wasn't even with Joseph and yet nobody was allowed near her, she was angered beyond belief by the presence of her 'security guard' standing discreetly at the entrance to the pool and pretending not to watch her swim, his eyes focused on the walls.

She dipped her head down beneath the surface and was swept away into the silent world of the water. The outside world disappeared and she forgot all about the stoic guard by the door.

At the top of the pool she felt a dark shadow appear over the water and immediately lifted her head pausing mid-stroke and rubbing her eyes.

She expected the guard to be standing there but instead a pair of grey soft eyes greeted her, a tired smile on his face.

Dropping her feet to the tiled floor of the pool she stood just a metre away from the edge, hands on hips

"Hello." He whispered. "Been a long time Miss. Arcenciel."

"Too long sir, and I don't like him being there." She indicated the guard with her chin and Joseph smiled again.

"Good job I sent him on his way then."

She glanced over her shoulder to the door. "Ahh, well you have that authority, but please don't ever set me up with one again."

"Well, we'll talk about that later."

He slipped his jacket off and she watched amused as he kicked his shoes off as well.

"You realise madam it's been 37 days since I saw your face."

"I do."

"And 37 days since I kissed you."

"Yes."

"And 38 days since I last held you in my arms." With that last line he jumped down into the water and reached for her, drawing her into his embrace.

His chin rested on her forehead and he closed his eyes as he held her tight against him.

"You just ruined a very expensive suit." She whispered, kissing his chest through the damp shirt.

"I don't care." He brushed her hair as she lifted her face to his. "God you're beautiful."

"Hmm, flatterer."

"I have been practicing."

"Oh?" she pouted. "On who?"

"Just in here." He tapped the side of his head. "Imagining being with you again, it seems forever."

"I know. January was slow."

"Incredibly."

"But how impressed am I that you handily arranged this little visit around Valentines."

"I'm good aren't I. But it was pure coincidence you understand."

"Oh I'm sure."

Finally he lifted her chin with his finger and closed his eyes as her mouth touched his. It was a gentle kiss. A moment of intimacy between them, soft and warm, they gripped each other as their mouths confessed the thousands of unsaid words.

Breathing deeply Joseph was reluctant to open his eyes and end the moment; he felt Clarisse's hand on his cheek gently brushing his skin with her fingertips.

"Darling you look exhausted."

He chuckled and stared down at her. "Thank you very much, I am. I need to sleep, couldn't manage it on the flight, was too busy counting down the hours. Minutes. Seconds." He squeezed her body again to emphasise his point.

"Then go to the suite, I'll get my things and be right there."

"Afraid that's not possible."

He visibly saw her shoulders drop with disappointment. "Surely not a meeting now, you only just landed, you need a break."

"That's not what I meant, what I meant was I'm not sure I can let go of your body now."

"Oh…" she smiled warmly and stood on tiptoes pressing herself against him. "Then are you going to carry me down the hallways to the suite?"

"I would if you'd allow me."

"I won't, so let go and let's get out of here. I'm going all wrinkly." She held her hand in front of his face to show him her wrinkled fingers. "And before you say anything it's the water not age."

"I would never dare."

Laughing she dived back into the water and swam to the steps, Joseph sighed heavily and rubbed his chest as he slowly waded through the water towards her.

"You know I still stand by my words," he added staring at her backside as she climbed the few steps out of the pool.

"Which is?"

"Last Summer, when I said you should get a pool in your garden."

Clarisse chuckled as she tied her robe and draped a towel around her shoulders. "You make it sound like an incredibly normal act, popping down to the market for a pool dear, won't be long." She laughed again hooking her arm through his. "You are a little insane Mr King."

"Mr King?" He queried glancing sideways at her.

"Rose's new nickname for you, kinda cute don't you think?"

"I think I prefer Joseph from you." He smiled patting her hand. "Or something adorable like 'my love', 'sweetheart', 'my all.'"

Clarisse screwed her nose up and shook her head. "What do you think I am, straight out of the pages of some Mills and Boon novel? Goodness no. Joseph it stays. Or sir if I'm pushed."

With a deep chuckle he pushed open the door that led out of the pool area. "Alright, shall we have some breakfast then Madam?"

"Lead the way sir."

* * *

Waiting until she was sure the maids had gone Clarisse stepped out of the bedroom and moved to sit with Joseph.

"Ahh good morning sleepy head, was wondering if you'd make it out for breakfast."

"And here I am." She smiled sweetly placing a napkin into her lap. "I didn't want the maids to see me."

"They're paid not to see you sweetheart."

"How fabulous, now I feel like a well-treated and overlooked prostitute."

Folding his paper and putting it to one side he placed his hand over hers. "Never." Lifting her hand he kissed it, "you aren't wearing the bracelet."

"Joseph, it's 8:30 in the morning, I'm not dressed, I'm not showered. I'm hardly likely to be wearing an expensive diamond bracelet at breakfast."

"But you do like it?"

"Like it? It's the best-damned Valentines gift I've ever had. Now can we eat?"

"Go ahead, I'm not that hungry."

Gazing steadily at him she watched as he took a sip of juice. "You hardly ate yesterday neither. Slept until lunch then were out meeting and greeting."

"All part of the job, besides we ate last night."

"No we ordered to the room and I ate and you picked at it."

Leaning closer to her he nudged her soft cheek with his nose. "But I ate you, and you tasted delicious."

"Joseph!" She exclaimed scandalised. "One doesn't expect such lines from a King." She buttered a piece of toast feigning shock as he continued to nuzzle her neck.

"You always smell so good Clarisse, always." To emphasise his point he breathed deeply, his warm breath tickling her skin.

"Joseph," giggling she twisted her head round to look at him and accepted his brief kiss. "When did you get up? I didn't hear you."

"You don't really want to know."

She raised a questioning eyebrow. "6:00?"

He shook his head.

"Earlier than 6:00, you're right I don't want to know, those days are behind me." She bit into her toast. "So you're in meetings all day, more meet and greet."

"Afraid so, for most of it, but I have booked us a private table you'll be pleased to know, dinner at 7:30 ish."

"7:30 ish? That sounds a little negotiable."

"I may be earlier than that, if we're lucky."

"Hmm, and does that mean, you might also be late?"

He shook his head kissing her again, "No, I won't be late, I promise, I'm going to be looking forward to spending the evening with you. My love."

Dropping her half-eaten slice of toast back to her plate she rested her hands on his shoulders. "Joseph, how long before you have to disappear again?"

"Ahh," he looked at his watch, "about, well 30 minutes, 40 at a push."

"Good," she nodded loosening his tie. "Then you have time for me to thank you again for the diamonds."

He chuckled tracing his finger tenderly down her face. "What are you suggesting Madam?"

"I'm suggesting, Sir, that I take you back to bed for 30, maybe 40 minutes. And you turn up late to this so-called meeting. After all I am going to be spending the day without you."

"That is true. And I am the King, they're all here to see me right, my prerogative to be late."

"Indeed it is." She pulled his tie and dropped it to the floor standing and holding his hand firmly in hers as she led him back to bed.

* * *

It wasn't often Clarisse wore white, she found black dresses so much simpler, sexier, and more sophisticated. Yet now, after finding the most fabulous Dolce and Gabbana just-off white cocktail dress, she had changed her ways for one evening only and wore it with style. If there was a place to shop London was it, once again she'd managed to spend a small fortune on this dress, a new pair of shoes and some treats for the new love of her life… Holly. A rather fetching bright sparkly pink dog collar for her, she would look stunning next time they went walking on the beach together. Joseph wouldn't believe it if he saw how much she'd grown already.

Thinking of him made her relax, she uncrossed then re-crossed her legs in the opposite direction, took a sip of her champagne and looked to her watch. 7:25. He should be here soon.

The bar wasn't overly full, just acceptable, not too quiet that she felt she was the object of scrutiny, nor to full that she felt crowded. Glancing around she took in the people seated at the dining tables, the young couples holding hands across the table, older ones saying it all with their eyes. The families celebrating an anniversary of some kind. And then she saw them, two body guards by the entrance, eyes fixed on her, when she looked at them they stared back stonily and she found she had to look away before she blushed.

Turning around quickly on her stool she took a gulp of the expensive champagne and closed her eyes as she swallowed it. Damn Joseph, she'd told him no more guards, she hated those strangers' eyes watching her every move. She hated the fact somebody knew where she was and what she was doing all the time. It infuriated her to think that they had been there all day, following her from store to store, surely not; surely Joe wouldn't do something like that.

Well, that was settled, she would have it out with him tonight. Put a stop to the nonsense, when he got there of course. 7:45 now.

Edging round in her seat again she scanned the room being careful to avoid the doorway where the black suits stood motionless and poised. No sign of him yet. She could grant him a few minutes late, she knew how strained these meetings could get, these duties he had to perform.

Cradling her Champagne flute she tentatively sipped it and let out a long deep breath. A man in a business suit was walking toward her, she looked away and didn't notice when he stood next to her at the bar.

"Evening."

Craning her neck round she shot a look to his face, "Oh, good evening."

"Classy here isn't it."

"Incredibly."

"Would you like another drink?"

She looked to her half-empty glass and shook her head. "No, no thank you. I'm, I'm err waiting for someone."

"Oh right, I'm sorry, thought you were alone."

"It's fine."

Feeling a hand touch her arm she turned to her right again a smile in place ready for Joseph.

"Richard?"

"Clarisse, a word please."

Slipping down from her stool she reached for her purse and placed her glass back down on the bar taking Richard's offered arm and following him to the opposite end of the empty bar.

* * *

Joseph nervously glanced at his watch as the last of the papers were shuffled away and the gentlemen around the table got up and prepared to leave. He wanted to rush from the room leaving his briefcase behind and to hell with all those dignitaries. Yet politely he stood, straightening his jacket and shaking the hands of the men that passed him.

Richard approached him discreetly from the corner of the room leading Joseph over to one side out of the earshot of the remaining group.

"Is Clarisse still in the restaurant?" He whispered anxiously.

"No, I'm afraid not sir. She returned to the suite about half-an-hour ago."

"Right." Joseph glanced at his watch again and absently shook his head. "Right, well, a late supper I think. Meeting was rather exaggerated. Did you get the notes?"

"Yes sir, I'll go over them before tomorrow. You have a breakfast meeting at 10, we could meet at 9 and prepare."

"Yes, yes of course. Excellent work." Joseph fiddled with the signet ring on his left hand. He didn't care at all about breakfast meetings, for the last two hours his brain had hardly been focused on the task of work, he was desperately worried about Clarisse and the response he was going to get from her.

* * *

Clarisse threw her dress across the room to the bed; it landed in a heap in her open suitcase. She tightened her dressing gown and brushed her hair back from her face as she leant over the open set of drawers and retrieved a selection of tops throwing them to join the dress in the case.

She didn't hear the bedroom door open or Joseph drop his dinner jacket to the bed.

"What's going on?"

She spun round angrily, more than ready for the ensuing argument. "Packing!"

He dropped down onto the bed loosening his bowtie. "I'm sorry, the meeting ran over, I know I'm terrible, I'm sorry."

"And that's it." She stood firm across the room from him, hands on hips. "That's it, sorry. I sat down in that restaurant for two hours, TWO hours! Watching your bloody security guards casting me sympathetic glances, 'she's the one he's fucking at the moment, stupid bitch!' Well I won't be, I won't."

She tossed another item of clothing into the case.

"I don't appreciate your choice of words, and I won't rise to it. You know this is more than sex, you know there isn't and never has been another. You're angry, I understand that and I'm sorry."

"Don't patronise me." She stormed over to the bed slamming her case shut. "I told you from the beginning I won't be some cheap whore who you use, pick up and put down as and when you like, you can't buy me with jewels and fancy hotels."

"I wouldn't try to, please stop packing, stop and sit down and we'll talk about this properly. I'm not using you."

She leant against one of the heavy wooden posts on the bed. "You make me feel cheap, YOU make me feel expendable."

"How the hell…"

"I arrive alone in the middle of the night, meet you here the next morning, you sleep for hours, go to a meeting, come back, we have sex, we go to sleep. I wake this morning, we have sex again, you have no time for breakfast, I eat alone, I spend the entire bloody day alone! And then stupidly I spend so much time getting ready to meet you for dinner and you never show up, no note apologising, no message…"

"Wait, I sent Richard to explain."

"Richard isn't you. Richard isn't your words, your sentiments. He told me you were stuck in a meeting, a note from you wouldn't have taken a second to scribble down."

"Then I apologise, you know I'm no good in these type of situations."

"Oh screw you! You can't keep falling back on that excuse, you know me by now, you know what I expect, what I need, and I really need something from you right now. I really…" She held her breath and squeezed her eyes tightly shut; she refused to let any tears fall.

"I'm trying to damned hard with this Joseph, I know you're busy, I understand that, but if you knew you wouldn't have time why invite me up here?"

"You know why, I need to see you, I missed you." He sighed. "I always miss you. I don't wish to argue, not anymore."

"But don't you understand this can't be all there is, I need something more."

"And I don't know what else to give Clarisse, you don't want to marry me, you don't want to even come live in Genovia as my partner."

"Because I have a life here, a life you seem more than willing to simply brush aside when it suits you. I had plans this weekend, I dropped them all when you snapped your fingers and said you'd be in London, just like that, in a second." She took a deep breath. "I won't do it again Joseph."

"I wouldn't expect you too, I messed it up and I'm sorry. You're right I knew this would be a chaotic weekend, but the thought of being here and not seeing you was unimaginable. But you know there is no other woman, nobody waiting at every port of call, the security guards don't stare at you filled with empathy… and whatever you think I don't see you as a cheap whore."

He stood up abruptly and took his shirt off and dropped it to the floor. "I'm exhausted Clarisse, I've been up since 4:30 this morning after only a few hours of sleep, I've had about 20 minutes break where I grabbed a sandwich. I need a shower and to sleep. I'm sorry, we could argue all night but I really don't have the strength." And with that he disappeared inside the en-suite.

Clarisse sat on the bed for several minutes listening to the running water in the adjoining bathroom. With her hands knitted together she glanced at her suitcase on the bed, it was getting late, 10:15, too late for a train home.

She lifted her suitcase to the floor and slid her dressing gown off along with her underwear before making her way into the bathroom.

Silently sliding open the door of the over-sized cubicle she watched as Joseph lifted his face to the steam of water, his eyes were closed, he brushed a hand across his face wiping the water from his brow. She noted the muscles in his back flexing, his bronzed skin glistening with water droplets, the tired sag of his shoulders.

Stepping in behind him she rested a hand on the small of his back, another on his arm and her chin on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry." She said quietly.

He instantly relaxed back against her body. "No, I'm sorry." He whispered. "I haven't treated you well, certainly not how you deserve to be treated."

"You have, you've shown me more love than anybody, I over-reacted."

"Shall we agree to forgive each other and let the matter rest?" He twisted his neck around glancing to her face.

She smiled. "Yes. Now, let's see if we can get you relaxed shall we."

She rubbed his lower back with the palm of her hand, kissing the side of his neck as she did so.

"You know we both have some sacrifices to make if we want this to work."

"Anything." He reached for the hand that rested on his shoulder and squeezed it. "Anything."

"The same goes for me, now I haven't eaten and I've drunk rather a lot of Champagne, so let's get you clean and relaxed and order some supper shall we."

Turning and resting his chin on her head Joseph closed his eyes. "I'm terribly tired Clarisse."

"I know, and I'm going to look after you this evening. Force you to relax. Finish your shower and I'll ring room service."

"Bossy." He smiled tilting her chin with his finger.

"I always have been," lifting her head she kissed him slowly. "I love you."

"Oh and I love you, so much…" He kissed her this time, forcefully, pressing his body against hers. "So much Clarisse."

"I know," disentangling her arms from his she smiled. "Now hurry up, I'll even get you cocoa before bed."

Joseph watched as she climbed out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her body, when she left the bathroom he sagged back against the wall. Exhaustion sweeping over him all over again.

* * *

His eyes closed Joseph gasped for air and sat bolt upright in bed. Nausea washed over him in violent waves, rocking his brain and shuddering through his torso.

Holding his head he squeezed his eyes shut and forced air into his lungs, reaching blindly for the glass of water on the bedside table.

There was a clatter and splash of liquid as it hit the floor. Somewhere in the back of his mind a light went on and he audibly moaned at its presence.

"Joseph," Clarisse grasped his shoulder. "Joseph what's wrong?"

"Migraine… god the light Cla…"

Again he moaned and she turned the lamp off climbing out of bed and going to the window, she parted the curtains a little to give her some light and bent to retrieve the now empty glass from the floor.

"What shall I get you?" She asked gently watching as he tried to lay back. "What do you take?"

He shook his head and she scanned the room, she had no idea he suffered from migraines, he never said, she didn't know anything about his medicines or allergies or health issues. She remembered his private doctor though, an elderly man who'd been with Joseph for years. She honestly didn't relish the idea of having to venture out into the hallway in the middle of the night to ask Joseph's bodyguard for a doctor.

Sighing heavily she went to the en suite and soaked a cloth in cold water then returned and gently placed it on his forehead before finding her robe.

The hallways were brightly lit and she felt her eyes close involuntarily at the light. Folding her fingers together she glanced up at the guard standing directly across from her at the door, another a little further down, and another even further down. They all avoided her gaze, instructions she supposed.

Coughing lightly she deliberately stared at the one across from her.

"Erm, I'm sorry to bother you." She whispered. "Joe… his majesty isn't feeling well, I wondered, does he have a doctor here or…" she wrung her hands together almost embarrassed. "I'm sorry I'm not really sure of the procedure."

"I'll take care of it madam." The guard said curtly turning to look at the other one, she wondered if that was a smirk that passed between them. What exactly did they think she and Joseph had been up to?

"Thank you." She slid back inside the room and cursed herself for being so stupid, she overreacted and acted impulsively and didn't think straight. Of course she should have rung Richard, that would have been easier.

"Clarisse?" Joseph groaned.

"I'm here." Padding barefoot back into the bedroom she knelt on the bed and gazed down at him taking his hand. "How are you feeling?"

"Awful."

"I sent for the doctor, well a doctor, I didn't know what else…"

"It's fine," he said quickly, obviously talking wasn't what he wanted right now.

She squeezed his hand lifting it up and kissing the back of it.

Within minutes there was a polite knock at the door and she stood up as Richard entered with a younger man. From the looks of it both straight out of bed, Richard still in his pyjamas his hair ruffled, his face flustered.

She moved toward him as the doctor leant over Joseph.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't sure what to do. Didn't mean to wake you all."

"It's fine," Richard squeezed her upper arm. "Go get yourself a strong drink, he'll be fine in a few moments."

"Alright, does he get these often?" She enquired.

Richard's face remained passive for a moment then he smiled gently. "Not too often, he has some good medication, knocks him straight out but he'll be fine tomorrow."

"Good," she breathed deeply, she hadn't realised just how worried she'd been until she heard him say that. "Good."

* * *

Yawning and stretching her arms out above her head Clarisse felt the sunlight on her bare skin, a smile crept onto her face, she could smell his cologne, knew he was still next to her in bed, could feel his warmth.

"What are you smiling at?" She heard him whisper, the pillow beneath her head dipped slightly and she pictured him leaning on his hand, elbow digging into the pillow as he looked down at her.

"Shh," she replied, "I'm still dreaming."

"Oh? And what are you dreaming?"

"That I'm somewhere incredibly hot, a secluded island, distant and exotic, completely alone with you."

She heard the grin in his voice as he stroked her hair. "Sounds perfect."

"It is." The memory of last night flashed into her mind and her eyes flew open. "Goodness Joseph, are you okay?"

He was nodding before she finished her sentence. "Fine, yes, sorry I startled you, woke you in the middle of the night."

"That I don't mind." She shuffled up the bed reaching for his free hand that lay atop of the bed sheets. "I was just, concerned. You were sleeping when I came back to bed."

"Yes, the stuff they give me, it always knocks me out."

"What 'stuff?'" She asked wrinkling up her nose.

He smiled his eyes softening as he gazed down at her. "Just to ease then pain, nothing to worry about. Over work and not enough sleep. You're keeping me awake late at night."

"I'm doing no such thing." She snapped then seeing his expression laughed with him. "Ohh as long as you're okay now," twisting onto her side she wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face into his chest. "I don't like you being ill, it unnerves me."

Making no reply Joseph closed his eyes and kissed her head. "I'll take today off, Richard can send word out I'm suffering from a migraine, not a complete lie. And you and I can hide away in here, play Chess."

She giggled and pulled her head back to look at him. "Chess? All day?" Moving to lean against him she pushed him back to the bed. "Really Joseph, have you thought of nothing else for us to do to kill the time."

When she kissed him he felt the bed beneath him slip away, her body was warm and soft above his, so very comforting to him to have her touch again.

"I miss you so much when we're apart." He breathed. "It's getting worse, I can hardly bare to leave you now."

"I know, and Holly misses you too."

"The little rascal doesn't even like me, honestly I buy her and give her to the best person I know and she either ignores me, chews my socks or sniffs me with disdain."

"Oh you've only spent a few days with her over Christmas, next time you visit she'll treat you better. She likes to play on the beach, though she has a tendency for going in the water which I'm not too comfortable about."

"Why ever not?" He laughed holding her above him.

"Because," she smirked realising how silly it sounded now she was saying it out loud. "Because I keep thinking of that scene in that film when the dog is missing and never comes back out of the water."

"Which film?" He chuckled.

"You know, Jaws."

Now he positively heaved with laughter. "Jaws!"

"Stop laughing, it's not that funny."

"Oh it is, you think they have great whites swimming around the shores of Cornwall waiting for young dogs chasing balls."

"I know its preposterous but I worry about her, it's like having a baby to look after. I've grown attached."

"I know, I'm glad, she'll be fiercely loyal to you and then I know you'll be protected."

"Oh," she kissed his smile, "and do you think there are great whites after me also?"

"Well, a different kind of great white but one can never be too careful."

Kissing him again she stroked his chest. "You're sure about taking the day off? I don't want it to cause problems."

"It won't, a hundred percent sure."

Her face was the picture of joy; "Marvellous… and Joseph you will come and stay again won't you, soon?"

"Of course soon, I'll speak with Richard about it, organising some time. Pierre is getting a little suspicious though."

"Of me?"

"In a way, he doesn't know of you of course but he knows something is different, he isn't dumb. I think he's rather intrigued by it all, it was the festive break that did it, we've always done it as a family."

"I guess it was risky."

"Yes, but worth it."

"Worth every second, shall we order breakfast?" She snuggled against him.

"Yes, I'll call Richard first, lets stay in bed though, eat it in here, and you can tell me all about rascal Holly. And who know, we could maybe watch a movie later."

Shaking her head she lay down tucking her head beneath his chin. "Don't tell me, Jaws!"

* * *

_Please leave me a little review, thanks! x Rhonda_


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